MOM's BEST WISDOM

My Baby Boy

2009-06-22T19:28:00.000-07:00

Dear Moms,
Today is my baby boys’ birthday. I guess you could say, he definitely is not a baby any more, in fact, today Sean Kevin Chase Mongan is 18 years old. In honor of his eighteenth birthday, I am going to post the last, life lessons. Last, but not least, our seventh child.
When God took our 8th baby Zachary home, after only two hours old, Sean became the baby of our family forever. Zachary was born full term, but none of us knew, how short his time with us would be. I will attest, that everyone’s life in our family was affected by Zachary’s death. The affect was both positive , as well as negative. In Sean’s case, the biggest negative affect, was that, I had, a “Mother’s Heart,” yet no baby to hold,. I gave Sean way too much motherly help, as well as, way too much attention. Instead of calling Sean on to maturity, to learn and to do things himself, like I did with the other children, I was always at Sean’s beck and call. In other words I enabled him. One of the benefits of a large family, as many of you all know, is the ability of raising very confident, responsible, and capable children . Sean was being robbed of this, and I was unaware that this was even occurring.
To top it off, Sean, being a pre-mature baby, was a sickly child. Yes, for the first thirteen years, of his life, it was very common for Sean to be home from school, every other week., with a fever, an upper repertory sickness or vomiting. It was very hard for him and extremely hard on me. On the positive side, I grew in compassion, and Sean in perseverance. Sean being a good suffer, never complained.
Now for he good news, God being God, who definitely has a calling on Sean’s life, was not going to let an over attentive mother, rob her child of virtue and grace. God intervened. My husband Pat, answered God’s call to become a deacon in our Catholic Church, when Sean was in the seventh grade. What did that mean? It meant that my husband and I would go out of town , one weekend a month , to study, for five years total. It was just what the doctor ordered for a woman and man with seven close together children. Yes, my husband, Pat, a Family Practice Physician was ready, to hang up his stethoscope, to take the Sacrament of Holy Orders. He was preparing to pour his whole life into serving the church, moving towards full time ministry. Thus, Pat’s second career., was birthed. When Sean entered high school, he found himself, “home alone,” one weekend a month. I began to coin a phrase, “Sean is raising himself, and he’s doing a great job.” He rose to the occasion, never complained, taught himself to cook, and when in doubt, ordered pizza. He made us proud, as he showed himself, not only to be responsible, but also, trustworthy. We hold these two virtues in high esteem in our home.
Another way God helped this over attentive mom out was by giving us grandchildren. I was able to nurture them, take my eyes off Sean. Sean showed himself as a very caring and fun uncle. I think, that all of the nieces and nephews, think of Sean as their favorite uncle.
On March 16, 2009, Pat and I welcomed our seventh grandchild, Ashlyn Hope to the family. Our plan was to leave immediately for Merritt Island, Florida, a soon as we heard the word, “labor and delivery. “ When I woke up that morning , I was surprised to see Sean laying on the bathroom floor, pale as can be. He said, “Mom, I feel sick, and I threw up eight times.” As I felt his head, I knew that he had a fever, as well. My husband and I weighted our options, packed slowly, and hoped for a miracle. Then after begging every family member to come be his nurse, and finding no one available, I stationed an angel to guard and take care of our seventeen year old son. With all the compassion of a mother’s heart, I asked , “ Sean are you going to be alright?” His response, showed forth the maturity that God had been working in him all along. Sean said, “Mom, I know that I am not your only child.” As I walked out the door, I prayed a pray of thanksgiving to Jesus, for the Man Of God Sean had become. Tears welled up in my eyes, as I learned a lesson as a mom that I will never forget. “Unless the Lord builds the house, you labor in vain to build it. God had housed a character full of virtue and selfless love in Sean’s heart, when I wasn’t even looking. A character that he took to Hawaii, a couple of weeks ago after high school graduation. Sean, didn’t go alone, God is with him and even though we miss him on this his eighteenth birthday, what better hands can he be in , than the palm of God’s hands.
Sean, the baby of seven children, who could have become a spoiled brat, has proven to me, that you can not spoil with love and attention. God is in control. Truly, Sean has a calling on his life.
Mom be the best mom you can be. Pray fervently and entrust them to God daily. He will fill in the gaps. That’s all for www.momsbestwisdom.com
As always,
Ellen

Postpartum Depression

2009-06-08T20:48:00.000-07:00

Dear Moms,
It is very common for a new mother to feel some depression during the first few weeks after having a baby. I, myself, had post partum depression, with four of my eight children. They may complain of weepiness, mood swings, sadness, or even nervousness. The bout of baby blues is usually related to hormone swings. It may even occur later because of the stress, as well as the changes associated with having a new baby. I wanted to give some practical wisdom that one can do when faced with post partum depression:
1. Go see a doctor. If medicine helps, thank God for it.
2. Eat right (five basic food groups and especially protein) Remember that, “The body is the temple of the Holy Ghost. “ Take care of it.
3. Get plenty of rest (nap if necessary). The word of God says, “He gives His beloved a good night sleep.”(Proverbs 3)
4. Get a Spiritual Director in the form of a Titus 2, Older Woman, who listens, understands and has been there. In other words she has done the journey that you are walking on. Talk it out. Get problems and worry off your chest. Together pray. “Cast your cares upon Him for He cares for you.”
5. Take one hour a day for “me time, “doing what you like to do. Rest, relax, and restore. “Love your neighbor as yourself. “
6. Take a date night with you and your husband. The two shall become one. (Genesis 2:24) Avoid talking about your situation on the date night, but rather enjoy one another. Keep it lighthearted and fun.
7. Pray if you are able, but if you can't pray know that others are standing in the gap for you. 8. Receive the Sacraments often; they are grace for your soul.
9. Spend time with Jesus in the Adoration Chapel, just sit at the foot of the Cross with Him and don't say a word.
10. Get someone to come over and help you. Many hands make light work. (A maid, a mother or a friend)
11. Get around people. Find a mom's support group of caring friends (MOPS or Mom's Club)
13. Exercise, even if you do not feel like it. It will lift your spirits. Find the flavor of exercise that you enjoy. Make a commitment to exercise at least three times a week.
14. Fix yourself up. Get a new outfit, a new hairdo, or even a pedicure. This will help to boast your self esteem which always suffers during a depression.
15. Guard your friendships. Get around positive people who will pull you up, rather than drag you down.
16. Plan a trip with your husband or your family. Focus on the detail, rather than your problems.
17. Get a new hobby, join a new class, make a new friend, and join a new ministry.
18. Do something for others. Make a meal for a new mom. Serve at the soup kitchen. Tutor a child.
19, Accept the things you cannot change. Change the things you can. Have the wisdom to know the difference.
20. Remember this too shall pass. One wise woman once told me, "that sometimes it is Ok to put one foot in front of the other and not even smile, but just make it thru the day. God understands and He loves you.” These two sentences freed me up, because she had done the journey that I was on.

Any of these suggestions may help, but it is possible they may also make things worse. So, if you experience more stress or depression with any of them, then obviously you should not do them. If the symptoms of depression are mild you may not need to see a Dr., but if you have any thoughts of harming yourself or family, then you must see your doctor. Above all do not take it out on your baby. If you cannot cope, call for help. Scripture says, “A woman is saved thru childbirth.” This bundle of joy we receive from God teaches us to lay down our lives daily, while God is giving us the grace to do it. The sacrifices we make, form us into the image of Our Savior Jesus Christ. We as moms, bear patiently with sleepless nights, spit up on our blouses, very little time for our self, endless patience and many more daily sacrifices done in love. The rewards however, outweigh the sacrifice given: the first smile, the baby’s first step taken, the first time our baby says “Mama,” brings joy to our heart. Babies will truly win your heart and we will know what God meant by a “Mother‘s Heart.”

Mom's Best Wisdom Bible Study

2009-02-24T10:29:00.000-08:00

We've taken a short break on this blog, but we've been busily working on another project--the Mom's Best Wisdom Bible Study Book. It's a great bible study for moms from all walks of life, and we hope it will minister to many! There's a sample chapter below, and if you're interested in purchasing a copy or in multiple copies for a bible study group, please contact Ellen at momsbestwisdom@yahoo.com. Don't worry; there are more posts to come soon!

Week 1:Mommy, Mommy, Play with Me!

No matter how many toys you buy your child, or how many DVD’s or videos you pop in the TV, every preschool mother will hear these words, all day long, “Mommy, mommy play with me!” Yes, mom, you are their best toy. Treasure the moment. Before you know it, you will be walking them down the aisle for their wedding day. I have been there; I know. Many years ago, God moved our family to Vernal, Utah, where my husband opened his own family practice clinic. What God did not tell me, was that there were very few Christians in Vernal. At the time, I had two preschoolers and I was pregnant with our third child. Out of desperation, I wrote a book of activities for moms to do with their preschoolers appropriately called, “Mommy, Mommy Play With Me.” It is a wealth of ideas, and I know God helped me because I wrote the whole book in one week. My point is: there are plenty of books on the market with things to do with your child. Take time with your little one. These moments will breed memories that will last a lifetime. I used to take an hour with my child and call it “special time”. One day we would make a hat and drum and then march like a marching band. Another day we would bake together, and some days, we would even take a field trip. During this special time I would always cease the opportunity to bring it around to teaching about our faith. For instance, my book is divided into different letters every week. Week one is the letter A, week two is the letter B and so on.

To give you an idea of how it is Christ-centered, on F week we would make fishing poles and learn the song God will make you Fishers of Men. Finally, we would talk about Jesus calling us to touch a life for Christ a day; teaching us how to be “Fishers for Souls.” Variety is the spice of life. What do you think? What’s your favorite “mom and me” memory? Let’s share. If you would like to share your experiences with me or would like to purchase my book go to www.momsbestwisdom.com; write a blog or send me an email. I’d love to hear from you.

Scripture

All your sons shall be taught by the LORD, and great shall be the peace of your children. In justice shall you be established, far from the fear of oppression, where destruction cannot come near you. Should there be any attack, it shall not be of my making; whoever attacks you shall fall before you. (Isaiah 54:13-5)

But wicked people and charlatans will go from bad to worse, deceivers and deceived. But you, remain faithful to what you have learned and believed, because you know from whom you learned it, and that from infancy you have known (the) sacred scriptures, which are capable of giving you wisdom for salvation through faith in Christ Jesus. (2 Timothy 3:13-5)

As you know, we treated each one of you as a father treats his children, exhorting and encouraging you and insisting that you conduct yourselves as worthy of the God who calls you into his kingdom and glory. (1 Thessalonians 2:11-12)

Therefore, you shall love the LORD, your God, with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your strength. Take to heart these words which I enjoin on you today. Drill them into your children. Speak of them at home and abroad, whether you are busy or at rest. (Deuteronomy 6:5-7)

What do these scriptures mean to you?

______________________________________________________________________________

Scripture Reflection

These children are on loan to us from God for a small passage of time. These little souls are like wet sponges; they will soak up whatever you teach them about God and His Word. It is the greatest gift you can give them. It will bear good fruit in their life and great will be their peace. It will be a comfort to them in the years to come.

So, mommy, mommy, play with them! May even your play be a teachable moment to lead them to Christ!

Questions

1. How do you spend quality time with your children? What are the downsides? What has worked for you? ______________________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________________

2. Any funny “mommy moments”? ______________________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________________

3. How do you use everyday situations to teach your child about God?

______________________________________________________________________________

4. What did your mom do to teach you about God and the world around you?

______________________________________________________________________________

Let Us Pray

Dear Heavenly Father,

Children are little for such a small span of time; help us to make time in each of our days to spend quality time with them; time to teach them about you, God, and about the world around them. Teach them to be children of character and children of faith that will be time well spent, with us as their example, mentor, and friend. Help us make this time fun, creative, faith filled and memorable. When they cry “Mommy, mommy play with me,” let us try our best to be there.

In Jesus Name, Amen!

Challenge

Have an indoor or outdoor picnic with your children and talk about God and His creation

Life Lessons

2009-01-20T16:18:00.001-08:00

Dear Moms,
Today we are going to talk about LIFE LESSONS. I am going to actually share how God taught each of my seven children a Life Lesson. I will also share my part in the training of God in their lives, which includes the ability thru the Grace Of God to sometimes bite my tongue and the Self Control to avoid fixing it, but rather LETTING GOD BE GOD in their live. The fruit born thru these Life Lessons was seeing, in hindsight of course , how God built their Character . as well as, their Testimony, all thru these Life Experiences.. So Read On Then, “ Let Go And Let God, Mom. You will be glad you did!
When my first born started school, he began to learn a Life Lesson that served him well all his life and made him the MAN HE IS TODAY. Every one who knows Tyler , Loves Tyler. He lives the Scripture, If you follow me I will make even your enemies at peace with you.” My husband says of Tyler, “TYLER IS HIS OWN MAN.” In other words , no matter what circumstances, peer pressure , or place Tyler finds himself in, TYLER IS GOING TO BE TYLER, NO MATTER WHAT! Tyler has the right balance between Godly Confidence and Godly Humility. He fits in where ever he goes, whether the people TRAVEL TO THE BEAT OF A DIFFERENT DRUM or STEP IN TIME TO THE MUSIC. He is free to LOVE AND NOT TO JUDGE. IT IS NO WONDER, EVERYONE LOVES TYLER, ESPECIALLY HIS MOM. As a young mother, I read a book called, “THE MOTHER’S ALMANAC.” I don’t remember much about it’s content, , except it was a wealth of knowledge, but one statement stuck with me for life. The statement was, “YOU WILL NOT LOVE YOUR FIRST BORN BETTER, BUT YOU WILL ALWAYS LOVE HIM DIFFERENTLY.” Tyler, my first born, after all made me a Mother, and for that I will be eternally grateful. I get a kick out of mom’s when they refer to their first born as a guinea pig. Our first born actually taught us more than we taught him. Yes, of course Tyler is perfect, you don’t even need to ask. If you don’t believe me, Check our his WEBSITE….. www.honuguide.com. I challenge you to tell me different.
So how did Tyler became the Man he is today? First off, when Tyler was born, we not only had him baptized, but also dedicated to the Lord, as the Bible encourages for all first born children. This has given me great peace to know in the times he wanders from his faith, that God has His hand on Tyler and He will never let him go. Secondly, he was raised in a Christian Home where Jesus was Lord and reigned in our hearts. Then, the Life Lesson that I promised I’d share. When Tyler began Kindergarten he was given an opportunity to stand for his faith and learn a lesson in obedience, all rolled into one. We had just moved into Augusta, Georgia, so Tyler was not only in a new town , but also a new school. The teacher , whose name will remain nameless, had a common practice of showing movies , almost weekly , that had witches in them. I, being a newly committed Christian and sensitive to guarding my children’s heart as well as mind, was quite offended, since this was a Christian School. Using the Scripture Principle, stated in Mathew, I decided to go to her in private. I praised God, because she politely listened and seemed to have understood. We all know than, “THINGS ARE NOT ALWAYS AS THEY SEEM.” When I asks Tyler a few days later, “IS YOUR TEACHER STILL SHOWING MOVIES WITH WITCHES IN THEM,” I was shocked at his reply. Tyler politely answered, “YES, MOM, BUT IT IS OK , BECAUSE SHE HAS MY SEAT FACE BACKWARDS WHEN SHE SHOWS THEM . SO I DON”T SEE THE MOVIE AT ALL.” I was so sadden by this teachers response, but at the same time proud of my son’s obedience and acceptance. As I questioned Tyler further, I discovered, not only did he face his desk backwards, but also, it was in the front of the class, facing all the other students who were enjoying the movie. In tears, I brought this to the attention of the principle, and although she had a tremendous amount of compassion for me and a very kind heart, we concluded, “YOU CAN NOT CHANGE THE WORLD.” So there Tyler sat, week after week standing for God All Alone. Tyler, never complained or even asks to do anything different than the teacher’s request. I gave it to Jesus, but will never forget the experience. Sometimes it even brings tears to my eyes.
I know what all you moms are out there thinking, “WHAT IS WRONG WITH MOVIES WITH WITCHES, THERE ARE MUCH WORSE THINGS THAN THAT, WHICH CAN POLLUTE A CHILD’S MIND?” First of all I was new in the faith and it was the 1980’s. Our world has changed a lot since the 80’s. Yet, Persecution for our faith has not changed a whole lot, neither has peer pressure. I believe that God gave Tyler and I the Grace to let Him stand for God, It was the Life Lesson Learned, that made him who he is today. I thank God for Tyler. I thank God for that teacher who allowed him that experience. And I thank God that I didn’t pull him out of school, or make an issue. I lastly thank God that we can forgive. God in His Wisdom, “WORKS ALL THINGS TOGETHER FOR GOOD, FOR THOSE WHO LOVE HIM AND ARE CALLED TOGETHER FOR HIS PURPOSE.”
Moms, let your children Learn the Life Lessons in their path. Guide them but don’t do it for them. You’d be surprised Mom’s that God can teach you a thing or two thru these experiences as well. ENJOY THE JOURNEY.
That’s all for Ellen
www.momsbestwisdom.com

Happy New Year

2009-01-06T17:11:00.000-08:00

Dear Moms,
One of my favorite lines from my sister Lynn’s Christmas Card, was the popular Quote, “LIFE IS WHAT HAPPENS, WHEN YOU ARE BUSY MAKING OTHER PLANS.” Isn’t that the truth! I first saw that quote on a picture frame, while in Kentucky. I was in Kentucky to welcoming my fourth grandchild ELLE YOUNG, the first born of Dr. and Mrs. S. Kyle Young, who by the way were not going to have any children, until Kyle finished Residency. Of course, I bought the frame and instructed them to place a picture of Baby Elle in it. It is a good thing I did because, this year , I was again in Kentucky welcoming, Elle’s brand new sister, Baby Lauren who arrived, even before Elle turned 2 years old.. No Kyle is not finished with his Residency yet! Again, “LIFE IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU ARE BUSY MAKING OTHER PLANS.” We all know that, God always has a plan .Of course Kyle and Amanda would not change a thing , as they welcomed their surprise blessings, Elle and then Lauren with open arms.
All this said, I too have had life happen, during this busy Christmas Season. I don’t think that I have been on my daily Blog at all or even checked my E-mails. Let’s face it Christmas is always busy. No we did not have two weddings and a funeral, yet we did have our share of Celebrations. Five of our seven children are born between Thanksgiving and January 9th. So there were a lot of Birthdays. In fact, today is my Baby Girl’ s Birthday. Kaitlin is 22 today, January 6. I added to the work load the 500 Christmas cards that I sent out, and I also write a book every year that come out as one of my Christmas gifts to close friends. Christmas requires a lot of time, talent and treasure. To top it off, my husband Patrick and I decided to Renew our vows on December 28th. This Renewal of Vows, was part of my “BUCKET LIST,” to have a Church wedding. Pat and I were married on May 1, 1974 AT SUNSET BY THE OCEAN in Key Biscayne, Florida, and later had our marriage blessed by a Catholic Priest. This HEARTS DESIRE, which started out small blossomed into a huge family event. It was ONE UFORGETTABLE ENCHANTED EVENING!!!!! I did tell the children and my husband, to remind me, ( because I’m over 50 and could be known to forget ), “No ONE CAN GET MARRIED DURING THE HOLIDAYS AGAIN.” Yes, it was a lot of work, but worth every blood, sweat and tears.
With Christmas, Birthdays, and the Renewal of Vows behind me, I am ready to dig in and Make A Difference this year. Starting with my blog.When New Years Day came I thought about writing on my Blog about the common changes that all of us like to commit to at the start of the year. You know the common topics, like Diet, Exercise and Organizational Skills, but then God put on my heart a Different Topic. I think that the idea evolved from a card that I had bought my Baby Girl. For my daughter Kaitlin’s Birthday I got her a card that said,
LEARN TO LIVE
LEARN TO LOVE
LEARN TO LAUGH
It speaks in the card about how I hope I have taught you these things, and feel that you have taught me these things, as well. As I contemplated these word s in her card and thought about the children’s visit. I was reminded about Life Lessons and how they are learned. Moms, as we raise our children, we can learn as much from them, that they learn from us.. All we have to do is just open our eyes and see and open ours ears and hear. In fact this is one way of hearing the Voice of God and see Him at work in our lives.
To start this New year, I am going to take each of my children and tell you how they learned a life lesson and how it formed their character forever. So read on don’t miss this Blog. I’m going to close now, I have to meet my family at my daughter Charity’s Restaurant, because we are Celebrating Kaitlin’s Birthday. Happy New Year!! Vow to make a difference in your own little corner of the world. Learn your Life lessons well . Then take a step back and let your children learn the Life Lessons that God allows in their Paths. . Ellen www. momsbestwisdom.com

Merry Christmas!

2008-12-24T15:55:00.000-08:00

Dear Moms,
I wanted to give a Christmas Message on my Blog. I decided to use the last chapter of my newest book, devotional, called “LET THER BE LAUGHTER AND A FEW TEARS TOO.” Please read it and pass it on.

GOD LOVES A CHEERFUL GIVER------GOD LOVES A CHEERFUL RECEIVER TOO!!

As I close this final chapter of this enormous undertaking of my 365 day devotional, “LET THER BE LAUGHTER AND A FEW TEARS TOO,” I can truly give GOD ALL THE GLORY! God, has walked me thru life experiences, then had me share His goodness with all of you. I know that I have already completed the 365 day devotional, but I had to take an oncour, a final bow and end the book with 366 days. God has just put this chapter on my heart and it is the Perfect closing for my book.
Here I sit at a Restaurant, called Panara’s, with my husband Pat,. It is our weekly, Saturday, routine date together, where we plan our week, pray together, and just plain catch up on each others lives. I am writing this in December, during the Christmas season, and I just noticed that there is a poster in Panara’s that reads, “GIVE, RECEIVE, REJOICE!!!.” How Ironic and appropriate as well,. It is truly a confirmation of what I am about to write.
You see God doesn’t just love a cheerful giver, but a cheerful receiver as well. During this Christmas Season I have thought about that a lot. I love to give, and I think about, myself as a cheerful giver. I even give extravolently, at times. I have actually had people say to me, “ Don’t Give To Me Any More.’ I am always baffled by that, so I conclude that they just don’t understand. You see many years ago, God freed me from the world’s bondage of , “GIVING TO GET,” and moved me right into God’s Grace of, “GIVING TO BLESS.” Let me tell you. “WHAT A GRACE THAT HAS BECOME IN MY LIFE.” “WHAT A FREEDOM , AS WELL.” The grace that flows thru me to move in the Spirit of God, to give when He says , “GIVE,” is powerful. If you haven’t experienced it, you just won’t understand it. Yes, years ago, God also spoke to me this Word, “ WHEN YOU ARE BEING PROSPERED, BE GOOD, BE GRATEFUL, AND BE GENEROUS.” It has become MY MOTTO. Now I have no problem praying for prosperity, so I can be used by God to bless others.
Christmas Shopping can become a burden,, especially when shopping for a large family, like mine, but I have a secret to simplify the process. My Prayer Partner, Judy, and I have prayed for years that as we walk thru the stores during the Christmas Season, the right gifts will catch our eye and just pop out at us saying, “BUY ME FOR _________. .” That has been my Christmas Shopping Adventure for some years. To tell you the truth, some times I buy gifts for the most random people, and only God knows WHY? My job is only to stay Prayerful, Seek God’s Face, Listen well and Obey the Voice of His Spirit.
This year, I came to a new awareness, that is , I personally, prefer to buy gifts for the , GRATEFUL OF HEART. I don’t think it is because I need the thank you, because heaven knows that God Blesses Me Back Enough. I came to realize that the gratefulness serve as an encouragement that, It Was A God Thing, not just A Good Thing!! It is so sad when you give to the Grumpy----now you still have to do it as a follower of Christ, because God says in His Word to, “LOVE UNCONDITIONALLY, AGAPE LOVE STYLE.” We must love as Jesus did and not expect anything in return. He died for those who love Him and those who refuse to love Him. ALTHOUGH, this agape love is easier said than done. Loving difficult people is the challenge we face sometimes daily , as our , “SPIRIT IS WILLING BUT OUR FLESH IS WEAK.:”
On the other hand, buying for those who truly appreciate, has become a TOTAL JOY for me. For example, I bought a random gift for one of Our Families Favorite Priests, Father Michael Libinski, this Christmas. In fact, I think this is how God taught me this lesson, that, ‘GOD LOVES A CHEERFUL RECEIVER.” First of all I was shopping at my favorite Store, Ross, and a gift caught my eye. It popped out at me and I immediately knew it would be the perfect gift for Father Michael. Those of you who know Father Michael will agree. It was a Plaque, and even though I usually refrain from buying plaques for people, it was what it said that seemed so approite in this case. It said:
LOVE GENEROUSLY
PRAISE LOUDLY
LIVE FULLY
I said to myself, “That is Father Michael. It Is The Perfect Gift.”
I laughed to myself as I put it in my cart and raced to the check out counter. You see I was on my way to meet my husband, Patrick, a Deacon,, at the staff luncheon, at the Church, and I was running late. Getting in my car, I was sure to thank the Lord that I had found the gift in the knick of time.
As I walked into the Church Hall, I was greeted by, who else, but Father Michael. I anxiously gave Him the present . He opened it instantly and began to read it out loud. He too laughed to himself, then remarked, “IT IS THE PERFECT GIFT FOR MY OFFICE.” I could tell, by the appreciation that He showed, that He too knew that God had guided me to select it, just to bless him . To top it off, the next day, less than 24 hours later, I received a genuine thank- you note in the mail.( and I live in Evans, out of town)
When I contemplated on Father Michael’s response , and thinking as well about Christmas coming, I couldn’t help but conclude, that God must feel the same way. I believe God TOO, LOVES A CHEERFUL RECEIVER.I think when we have a grateful heart toward God, it opens the door for God to Bless us some more. This Christmas is a good time to check our hearts. Ask yourself, my friend, “Are we so grateful for all God does for us daily? Do we have a grateful heart or are we a Grumpy Receiver?” Do you ever wonder why some people are so blessed? Watch their response to God’s goodness. Learn from Father Michael. Make it your aim to cultivate a THANKFUL HEART, a heart full of gratitude towards God and towards others.
This Christmas and every day this year, look for opportunities to BLESS OTHERS. Adopt the Motto, “GIVE TO BLESS, DON“T GIVE TO GET.” . Then if someone does bless you, for heaven sakes, BE A CHEERFUL RECEIVER.
My friend, when your cup is full, you are able to spill over and bless the others in your path. When your cup is empty, you want to keep the little you have for yourself. Fill your cup, this year my friend, by spending time in God’s presence. Let Him fill you to overflowing, then you will not be able to contain the blessing that God will pour into you. You will have no choice but to spill over to all you meet. Go into God’s Presence, EMPTY YOURSELF BEFORE HIM and LET HIM FILL YOU. Remember, “WE MUST DECREASE, WHILE HE INCREASE WITHIN US.” Then, “ THE MORE YOU HAVE, THE MORE WILL BE GIVEN UNTO YOU.” In the YEAR 2009, “MAY WE ALL BECOME EXTRAVOLANT GIVERS AND MAY WE ALL BECOME EXTRAVOLANT RECEIVERS.” TO GOD BE THE GLORY!!! FOR GOD LOVES A CHEERFUL GIVER, AND GOD LOVES A CHEERFUL RECEIVER. WHO CAN YOU LOVE INTO THE KINGDOM OF GOD TODAY? GIVE!!! RECEIVE!!! REJOICE!!! ALWAYS REMEMBER, IT IS THE PEOPLE WE MEET ALONG THE WAY THAT MAKES IT WORTH THE JOURNEY!!
MERRY CHRISTMAS FROM ELLEN MONGAN www.momsbestwisdom.com

Passing on Traditions

2008-12-21T13:04:00.000-08:00

Dear Moms,
One of my greatest joys of being a parent, is seeing my children begin these same Traditions that I instilled in them in their youth, with their own children, not only at Christmas but throughout the entire year. Our Mongan Family Traditions are being passed down to the next generation-------to our grandchildren. What a blessing!
The words of an old Bill Gaither Song goes like this, “ WE HAVE THIS MOMENT TO HOLD IN OUR HANDS AND TO TOUCH AS IT SLIPS THRU OUR FINGERS LIKE SAND, YESTERDAY’S GONE AND TOMORROW MAY NEVER COME, BUT WE HAVE THIS MOMENT TODAY.” Make Memories Mom. Today may be your only tomorrow. Live today to the fullest.
Always remember MOM, you are the Heart to the Home. Family Traditions build the family, and as well as pass on your faith to your children. Remember also, “UNLESS THE LORD BUILDS THE HOUSE YOU LABOR N VAIN WHO BUILDS IT.” Pray about what Family Traditions God wants you to begin in your home.
What a tremendous responsibility motherhood is, especially in this very secular world we live in. If we don’t form our children, the world will gladly do it. We however, have the awesome responsibility of housing our children, first within our wombs, then within our homes and always in our hearts. Protect your children mom, shelter them with faith, morals, character, and traditions.
Let us pray:
“GOD MAKE US RIGHTEOUS MOTHERS, VESSALS THAT BRING CHRIST TO OUR CHILDREN. DEAR JESUS, LET US LEAD OUR CHILDREN BY EXAMPLE TOWARDS YOU, SO THAT YOU MAY ALWAYS LIVE IN THE CENTER OF THEIR HEARTS.”
Mom, what are some of your Christmas Family Traditions so I can post them? If this website has blessed you , tell a friend, tell a neighbor, tell your Church Family. I’d love to speak at your Church this year, connect me. Ellen
www.momsbestwisdom.com

Christmas Traditions (part 3)

2008-12-21T13:02:00.000-08:00

Dear Moms,
We are really cutting this close, because Christmas will soon be here. You know how it goes, all the festivitities of the holiday season and all the Traditions, have set me back on my Website. However Motherhood is my heart and I am determined to finish the section of the Blog. So here Goes………….

CHRISTMAS DAY TRADITIONS

As I said earlier, we have changed our family Christmas, from Christmas Eve to the Saturday after Christmas. There is of course eating, drinking and all of us being very Merry. We have chosen this day of celebration, because it frees our adult children, who also have children, a chance to be in their own beds waiting for Santa to come down their chimney with care. We wouldn’t want them to miss him. It also gives my children a chance to be with their In-laws, if necessary. It give my husband Pat and I a chance to concentrate on Jesus alone, both on Christmas and Christmas Eve. Christmas Day, is usually a sit down dinner served with our best China. Since there are few of us , there is very little clean-up. We have been known to opt for paper plates---when the whole family gathers. I thank the Lord for whoever invented paper plates, which is God’s gift to large families. As we all sit around the table, we usually read, LUKE 1, as our blessing. Then we pass the Blessing Cup around, each taking a sip of the cup filled with wine after we as we THANK GOD for something He has done for us during the year. Since our children are older and usually go their own ways on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, these two days have become like a Sabbath Rest, where we just eat, then Chill and of course enjoy being with each other. Having the Saturday after Christmas as our Family Holiday, takes a lot of pressure off the Holiday, giving us a peaceful Christmas , as well as a few extra Days to shop. The Scripture I have chosen for Christmas Day is, “BLESS THE LORD OH MY SOUL, AND ALL THAT IS WITHIN ME, BLESS HIS HOLY Name.”

CHRISTMAS COOKIES

I almost forgot, since you already know that we like to cook together as a family, baking together is also an important part of our Christmas Family Tradition. We always pick a Saturday before Christmas, and every one bakes, moms, sometimes dads and always children. It is a BLAST ……… And………a DISASTER rolled into one. There is always, flour and sugar everywhere, not to mention eggs on the floor, and endless SPRINKLES. Oh how the grandkids love Sprinkles. They are in kid heaven and it is one big DELIGHT to watch. No one says, “DON’T SPILL,” because all Mongan are Klutzes,, except my husband Pat. If some one spills, my daughter Charity’s children will say, “THAT’S OK, NANA.” We all over look the mess and enjoy the moment. Christmas Baking is an important part of our family Christmas Season. Many of the cookies are shared with family , relatives and friend. They are Yummy because they are made with love. The bible says, “BE HOSPITABLE, ONE TO ANOTHER.” We live that scripture on the Christmas Baking Day. We have even been known to invite friends to bake with us., which adds to the pleasure. All our welcome at the Mongan’s Home. We have an OPEN HEART OPEN HOME MOTTO and always have.

THE NUTCRACKER

It is our yearly tradition to go to the performance of the Nutcracker during the Christmas Season. It makes a great, unforgettable, “GIRLS NIGHT OUT.” My granddaughter Bella, was so in awe last year, that as the ballerina’s got on stage, she remarked, “ARE THEY REAL, NANA?” The wonder of children. I personally loved the Arts and I love as well, any opportunity to share a moment appreciating the Arts with my children and grandchildren. My love of the arts is maybe because my Dad Bill Manfredi was a artist, or maybe it was because I was a Ballerina, in any event, I feel that all children should be exposed to the Arts. The Scripture I have chosen is, “WE ALL HAVE A VARIETY OF GIFTS.”

These are a few of the Mongan Family traditions. Our children look forward to these traditions which make our house a home. Many of our family traditions have changed as our children grew older. As I mentioned before, we only do those traditions that we can do peacefully. When a tradition becomes a burden, rather than a blessing, it is time to do away with that tradition or to alter the tradition. If a tradition is not kid friendly it will not bring about Family Bonding. Make the traditions enjoyable, please Mom.
That’s all for now. Time to get ready for yet another Christmas Party. I have a suggestion to make, How About Everyone Does Christmas Parties In November Or Else January, and leave December for us to get ready for Christmas. I don’t know about you but I’m a bit overwhelmed. ELLEN
www.momsbestwisdom.com

Christmas Traditions (part 2)

2008-12-18T05:28:00.000-08:00

Dear Moms,

THE CHRISTMAS TREE

To continue with the Mongan Family Christmas Traditions, let’s talk about the Christmas Tree. We all know that it would not be Christmas, without the tree, symbolizing that Jesus is the tree of life. “ If you abide in Me and my words abide in you, you can ask anything and it will be done by my Father, who is in Heaven..“ We must all be Grafted into the Tree of Life. SO this is my Scripture for the Christmas Tree
. In our family finding the PERFECT CHRISTMAS TREE was a huge event. We would pick a Sunday close to Christmas, and head off to the Tree Farm. We would all ride the Hayride, at the Farm , then begin “THE HUNT.” I’m going to tell you the truth, the hunt is long and the hunt is hard, because my husband will not settle for anything less than perfection. Once our Tree is spotted, agreed upon by all and applauded, my husband, just like a faithful woodsman, chops down the tree with the help of all who are willing. Then we all get back on the Hayride, where the tree farmers, bag up our purchase, and my husband secures it to the top of our mini van.
Once home, in pops the Christmas CD’S ,as I begin making the Wassail, and the Hot Chocolate and everyone begins to decorate., our tree . That is, after my husband and sons have dragged our perfect Tree from the car to the great room. Once finished decorating, we all agree that it is the BIGGEST AND BEST TREE EVER. It is true family bonding in action and builds memories that are sure to last a lifetime.
I won’t tell you about the Christmas Tree Hunt where the tree actually fell off the top of the Mini van and never made it home. You’ll just have to read about it in my newest children’s book, “THE TREE THAT SAVED CHRISTMAS.“
The Christmas Tree is truly one of my favorite Family Traditions. It wouldn’t be Christmas without it.

The CHRISTMAS LETTER AND THE CHRISTMAS PICTURE

The Scripture for this tradition is,, “IF YOU WANT TO BOAST, BOAST IN THE LORD.” Every Thanksgiving Day , we gather together as a family and take the annual Christmas Picture. I , being a prior planner ,coordinate a color for all to wear, in advance and , most often, buy all the grandbabies matching outfits in advance, as well. Doing it at Thanksgiving, gives me enough time to get the photograph printed and sent out on time for Christmas. Plus our family is usually all together at my moms on that day. Some years, we opt for a beach picture on our Family Beach Trip or a Wedding Photo, depending if there is a Mongan Family Wedding that year. I have to be honest, no matter how well planned this family picture is, some people always complain and a few have been known to sabotaged the picture. One year on Beach Trip, a family member, who will remain anonymous, got other family members to wear sun glasses, while the phoghapher was snapping the shots. It was not a pretty picture.
In October I write the annual Christmas Letter.. It is one of those typed form letters, but it always comes from the heart. .It is more than a Family News letter or as it has been called, a “BRAG LETTER,” It is a way to share my faith with 500 of my favorite people, plus their family members. I make it my goal in the letter to Honor The Lord as well as, to share what God has done in our lives that year. I also l make it my aim in this letter to point the reader to Jesus. The family Picture and Letter go out together. Think about making this family tradition one of our own. Remember, “IF YOU WANT TO BOAST, BOAST IN THE LORD.”

THE CHRISTMAS BASKET

This is my commandment that you LOVE ONE ANOTHER, that you joy may be full, are the words of and old song. The words to that song are of course taken from Scripture. The way we live out that Scripture in our home is thru the Tradition called THE CHRISTMAS BASKET. Each year, all the Christmas Cards that we received are saved in a Basket which we place in the middle of our kitchen table. Then each night at diner, one child picks one card out of the basket. My husband proceeds to read the card out loud and then I share a little bit about that family, either memories of times together or even who they are and how we know them. I, later on in the week, write a letter to that family encouraging them in the Lord and telling them that we prayed for them. Some years, I opt to give a phone call instead of a letter. This is a great way to connect with old friends thru out th year. It is also a way to really enjoy the cards and letters sent to us. You know how busy Christmas can be and we usually rush thru the cards----the Christmas Basket is a way to treasure the cards and make Christmas last all year long. I challenge you to try this tradition, the children will really like it and it will teach them to Love One Another by praying for one another . Check out the website tomorrow for more Christmas Traditions. I will close now because I have to make my yearly Christmas Baklava.
Ellen
www.momsbestwisdom.com

Christmas Traditions

2008-12-13T11:57:00.000-08:00

Dear Moms,
We will spend a portion of this Christmas Season talking about Traditions to help make Christmas come alive in the hearts of all who reside in your home. First of all , I’m going to tell you the secret to guarantee you will have the “BEST CHRISTMAS EVER.” Not only the best Christmas, but also, the “BEST YEAR EVER.” All you need to do is, learn to, “GIVE TO BLESS AND, NOT GIVE TO GET.” Then teach your family to do the same. Yes, Give and Don’t Count the Cost!! Give of your Time, and Don’t Count The Cost. Give of your Talent, and Don’t Count The Cost. Give of your Treasure and, Don’t Count the Cost. Give freely, and Do it for Jesus. So mom, as you address those Christmas Cards, Give to Bless!! As you bake those Cookies and share them, mom, Give To Bless. As you shop for all those Presents mom, Give to Bless. As you Wrap without any one volunteering to help you, mom, Give to Bless!! Christmas is a lot of work, especially for us moms, but make it a “LABOR OF LOVE.” Think of ways, like I do, to Bless random people, who least expect to hear from you, or receive from you. Be the “FRIEND THAT SAVED CHRISTMAS , to them.. I challenge you!!! Then I promise you it will be, “THE BEST CHRISTMAS EVER.” For as St. Francis says, “IT IS IN GIVING THAT WE RECEIVE AND IN DYING THAT WE ARE BORN TO ETERNAL LIFE.”

FAMILY TRADITIONS

Life is full of Memories!! I try very hard to make positive memories , and because of this, we are fond of traditions in our home. We actually seize every opportunity to make a memory. We want our children to enjoy our home more than any other place. As Dorothy said in the “WIZARD OF OZ,” “THERE IS NO PLACE LIKE HOME!” We desire that even our adult children, will have good memories of being in our home. I have read a lot of books on making memories and, I try to implement those traditions that I can do PEACEFULLY!! Everyone that knows me knows that I do not do winters, yet God in His goodness has placed my favorite holiday right in the dead of winter. Yes, , right when I need to have Jesus come alive in my heart and life more than ever before, we celebrate Christmas, the day Christ Jesus Our Lord was born. Now on Christmas, not only does Christ come alive in my heart and life, but also in the heart and life of the whole world. Young and old, black and white, believer and pagan alike, all join in Christmas Traditions. Yes, Christmas Time is full of Traditions. I will now list some of our favorite family traditions and explain briefly. I have put a scripture with each tradition. Here Goes:

St. Nicholas Day
This tradition is celebrated on December 6, each year, which is St. Nicholas’ Feast Day. Before going to bed on December 5, the children are asked to place their shoes outside the door of their bedroom. The next morning, to their delight, candy is found in their shoes, wrapped of course. This is by the wonder of Christmas the work of St. Nicholas, better known as SANTA CLAUS. Take the time on December 6th each year to read the story of St. Nicholas or better yet, invest in the movie. Make this a yearly read and a yearly movie, and , don’t forget the popcorn.
“BLESSED ARE THEY WHO WASH THEIR ROBES TO EAT FROM THE TREE OF LIFE.”

Secret Santa
When Advent starts, put each member of the families name in a hat, and mix it around. Then chose a name each, but not your own, and don’t tell a soul who you chose. Now spend the Advent Season doing , ACTS OF KINDNESS,” for the person whose name you picked. Do the Acts Of Kindness in SECRET, because, that’s half the fun. The other half of the fun is trying to guess who has who? For example, one family member leave the room to use the bathroom, they return to find their bed miraculously made. WHO DID IT? It could only the work of the SECRET SANTA! This tradition, builds family, and grows every one in the fruit of KINDNESS. Even a two year old, can join in the Fun, if you explain Secret Santa in toddler Vocabulary. Try this one, you will like it.
“GIVE AND IT WILL BE GIVEN UNTO YOU, PRESSED DOWN SHAKEN TOGETHER AND OVERFLOWING.”

The Advent Wreath
We do the traditional Advent Wreath, with the three purple candles, along with one pink one. We use an old Advent Book that is KID FRIENDLY, because it is Short and Simple. After diner we gather around the table together. My older children would take turns lighting the approite candle or candles. My husband would read the page for the day. Once we have prayed together as a family, the younger children would take turns blowing out the candles. This was a time to honor the Lord as a family, and all were expected to participate. My younger children loved this practice so much , that we made lighting a candle a daily practice., all year long. We began each day of my pre-schooler life lighting a candle and singing the song, “THIS IS THE DAY.” then of course, I would let them blow out the candle, over and over again if necessary.
“JESUS IS THE LIGHT OF THE WORLD.”
Ellen
www.momsbestwisdom.com

Funny things kids say III...

2008-12-07T05:44:00.000-08:00

Dear Moms,
Did you ever hear a child say something that makes you laugh, and later on you think to yourself, “I WISH I HAD SAID THAT.” Followed by the thought, “THOSE WERE THE WORDS OF A GENIUS.” Yes, children are thinking all the time and it is amazing how their minds work. They can truly teach us something new each day, and bring us a chuckle at the same time. These ingenious thoughts will be remembered for many years to come, and I hope that they will make us laugh generation after generation. This section is called………

MOM, I THINK I’M A GENIUS

When I decided to go blonde, my hair turned Red instead. My young daughter Tarolyn watched this whole process, then commented, “MOM, NOW THAT YOU ARE AREDHEAD, YOU WILL PROBALLY RUN FASTER!”

When Kaitlin was three years old, she asked me to teach her to tie her shoes. Having a busy day, I only showed her one time, but to my surprise, she caught on right away. The next day, I said, “KAITLIN, YOU ARE ONLY THREE YEARS OLD AND, YOU ALREADY KNOW HOW TO TIE YOUR SHOES!!” Kaitlin looked at me and replied , “MOM, I THINK I’M A GENIUS.”

It was a rain storm and the electricity went off throughout the entire house . Little Tarolyn volunteered, “MOM, WANT ME TO HOLD THE FLASHLIGHT WHILE YOU COOK ON THE STOVE?”

Joshua and Monica, both age six were walking thru the fog one day and talking. Josh was overheard saying, “MONICA, DID YOU KNOW, WHEN YOU ARE WALKING THRU THE FOG, IT IS NOT FOGGY.”

One Sunday morning as we were all sitting around the breakfast table and reading the paper. Kaitlin , age 3, was tying her shoes, a new skill she had learned. When some one would talk, she would immediately say, “ SHHHH, I’M TYING MY SHOES.” I was trying to help her out, so as each child joined us at the breakfast table, I would repeat, “SHHHH, KAITLIN IS TYING HER SHOES.” Everyone obediently hushed, until, in walked WISE OLD TYLER, A TEENAGER. Tyler walked up to Kaitlin and gently remarked, “KAITLIN, YOU NEED TO LEARN HOW TO TIE YOUR SHOES UNDER PRESSURE.” (no wonder, EVERYONE LOVES TYLER)

What ingenious things have your lille ones said? E-Mail me, and we will post your child’s funny comments on the website. ELLEN
momsbestwisdom@yahoo.com

www.momsbestwisdom.com

More Funny Things Kids Say II...

2008-12-05T04:58:00.000-08:00

Dear Moms,
We all know that, “LAUGHTER WORKS LIKE MEDICINE.” After all the joys and sufferings that Thanksgiving Family Bonding brings us, we could al use a little laugh about now. The second chapter that I am taking, parts of my book “FUNNY THINGS COME IN SMALL PACKAGES,” from is called, “It’s All In A Word.” Children sometimes think that they know what something means when they actual don’t exactly know what it means. You’ll see what I mean, in a minute.
Did you realize that we only comprehend 70% of the words we hear. Our minds fill in the rest according to the context of our conversation. Did you ever notice that when an adult doesn’t understand what you are saying, after two times of repeating, “ WHAT,” they say, “CAN YOU SPELL IT?” Obliviously, children cannot do that until they can spell. Instead, when children hear something, they run with it., They proceed to use the words they heard in a sentence and are sure they are using it correctly. That is another good reason that God gave them parents, Parents can guide them in their ever growing vocabulary and laugh with them along the way. In any event, “ Have You Ever Been Pregnant and broke your water bed?”
Here are some examples of, “It’s all in a word:”:
Kaitlin age four and one half, ran into the kitchen and announced, “Mom, I know what starts with Y, WILD!!!”
One time my husband Pat and I were talking about a couple that had gone on vacation in Miami, where Pat’s parents lived. Our daughter Charity got angry and said, “IT’S MY GRANDMA’S AMI. I was pregnant with our seventh child and very close to delivery. Every night I would say to the children, “If m y water bag breaks , then mommy will go to the hospital, and have our baby.” On Father’s Day, we woke up and Kaitlin age four said, ,”SO MOM, DID YOUR WATER BED BREAK?” It was laughable indeed.
Kaitlin age four, has Godparents, who have the last name of WHITE. One day while watching TV, Kaitlin came running into my bedroom saying, “MY GODPARENTS ARE ON TV, MY GODPARENTS ARE ON TV, THEY SAID THE WHITE HOUSE.”
One day while the children were playing together and shouting at each other, my husband called out from another part of the house, “ BE PATIENT, CHILDREN.” Amanda age 3, looked at me and said, “PATIENCE ARE SICK.” I wondered what she meant until she began to explain, “WHEN JENNY BABYSITS US, WE PLAY DOCTOR , AND ALL THE PATIENTS ARE SICK.”
During my fourth pregnancy, we spent a lot of time trying to decide a name for the new baby. I would read the name books out loud , and ask everyone in the families opinion of that name. One day I came across the name Patience. “HOW ABOUT THE NAME PATIENCE, PATRICK?”I asked my husband, waiting for his reply. Charity, age three, piped in with, “THEN WE COULD SAY, WAIT, PATIENCE.”
It’s all in a word. If you just read between the lines, you can see that your toddler is real putting thought behind their sentences. Even if it doesn’t make sense to you, to him or her it’s just PLAIN ENGLISH, TODDLER STYLE, THAT IS. If you can’t understand toddlers, just wait until they become teens. Mom listen between the lines and listen with your heart. You won’t believe how quickly your vocabulary will grow. Their vocabulary will grow as well. In the midst of all that communication, IT WILL DO WONDERS FOR YOUR RELATIONSHIP. REMEMBER, IT’S ALL IN A WORD. Now, I got to go do Christmas Cards. ELLEN
www.momsbestwisdom.com

More Funny Things Kids Say...

2008-12-02T07:13:00.000-08:00

Dear Moms,
Kids say the darnest things. Years ago I wrote a book called, FUNNY THINGS COME IN SMALL PACKAGES.” I encouraged moms to write down the funny things their children say while it is fresh in their minds. Years down the road you won’t remember who said what, especially after multiple children. This week I am going to share a couple of these cute funnies from each chapter. The last one I’m going to share is not from the book, but from my grandaughter Bella. Yes, you grandma’s out there write down all those cute things your grandchildren say.

WEE WISDOM
Children are wonderful and at times they are even wise. Their wisdom of course is on a whole different level than ours. Sometimes it makes sense to them, and we might even be able to see how that works. However it doesn’t always line up with the real world. These are the kind of things that I call, “WEE WISDOM.” It is cute how old they seem when they are really quite small, yet wise beyond their years. Here are some wise thoughts from the wee ones.

Amanda, Age 7
Said, “MOM how come make-up makes you look younger when you put it on, and makes me look older when I put it on?”

Laura Age 5
My niece Laura was spending the month of July us and had the problem of losing her shoes. We were on vacation and traveling by car. After going thru four pairs of shoes all lost in the car, I told her she needed to look for her shoes. Laura replied, “Aunt Ellen, we are on vacation and vacation means a break from the every day routine of life, so I can’t look for my shoes.”
Now mom who can argue with wisdom like that?

Kaitlin Age 3
Kaitlin was watching TV with me and I said, “ Kaitlin, would you rather mom have a baby or you be mom’s baby?” Kaitlin smiled and said, “ I want you to have another baby.” Then she thought a moment and added, “ How about if we don’t have a dad and we have a baby?” Mom answered, “Kaitlin, you can’t have a baby without a dad.” The Kaitlin said angrily, ’BUT MOM, DAD DOESN’T WANT A BABY.”

Out of the mouth of babes !!! What are your little Blessings saying to bring a smile to your face and help you put the Christmas Rush in perspective. Treasure the moment because they won’t be little forever. Share with us all. We could all use a good belly laugh.

That's it; I’m exhausted, ELLEN
www.momsbestwisdom.com

Funny things kids say...

2008-12-02T07:10:00.000-08:00

Grandchildren are a gift from God. I personally feel that one of the grandparent’s role is to pass on their faith to their grandchildren. So that’s just what I try to do, whenever I’m with one of my five grandchildren. My one grandchild, Bella and I have what we call, “ Nana and Me Days.”. Bella, age four, and I often sing songs to Jesus and talk about our God. One spring day we even took out a Nativity Scene, which once was a Pre-School bulletin board, and acted out the Birth of our Savior.Bella was so impressed that she wanted to do it again and again. Yet I didn‘t really know how much she retained, until one day this spring. I‘ll never forget that moment of grace. Bella and I were playing, when Bella said, “Nana, I told Emily. that Jesus loves her and He loves me too“. Knowing that Emily ,was her best friend, of the same age, I was inquisitive about what Emily’s response would be. “Bella,” I said with a smile in my voice, “What did Emily say back.?” “Nana, Emily said, I Didn’t know that.” I was overjoyed as I said, “Bella, you are an Evangelist, because you tell people about Jesus.” Then we both burst into song with a verse of Jesus Loves Me. I couldn’t help but replace the word me with the word Bella and Emily, which brought uncontrollable giggles to both of us. I guess Bella has been listening to Nana after all.
As I contemplated that moment I couldn’t help but think, how many adults are just like four year old Emily, they just don’t know that? Oh how the Body of Christ needs more Evangelists like Bella., Yes as the Bible says , THE HARVEST IS PLENTY BUT THE WORKERS ARE FEW. Will you tell someone today, that Jesus loves them, who doesn’t know that, like Bella did? You too can be an Evangelist no matter what your age. You are never too old, and you are never too young, to tell someone the Good News. Bella is living proof of that..

Thanking God for our Husbands

2008-11-30T15:03:00.000-08:00

Dear Moms,
Everyone knows that if you are to have a balanced life your husband has to come first, next to God of course. If you are a single parent, my hat is off to you. God promises in His word that He would take care of widows and orphans. He will indeed be your husband as you depend totally on Him. However for those of us who are married, do I have some advice for you. In my dental office there is a plaque that reads, ignore your teeth and they will go away. Think about this ignore your husband and he will go away, as well. Most people who are divorced will say, “WE JUST GREW APART.” Ladies, marriage is one of those parts of your life that you have to work on daily. Then you grow together and not apart. My husband and I teach Engaged weekend at our Catholics for those couple seeking to receive the Sacrament of Matrimony. We teach and we believe ,in the fact that the couple comes ahead of the children, the home, the friend, the outside activities, yes even ahead of yourself. This is easier said then done, so here are some practical tips, tried and true.
1. Communicate daily-heart to heart.
2.Have a date weekly
3.Pray together daily.
4.Work out conflicts quickly.
5.Always be the first to say , “ I’m sorry.”
6.Honor one another and defer to one another.
7.Say, “I LOVE YOU” often
8.Start the day by asking your husband if there is anything that you can do for him and do that first.
9.Thank each other even for the little things.
10.Reverence and respect your husband.
Every day when I look at my husband , I think of all we have been thru, the good times as well as the bad. How we’ve been together in sickness and in health. How God has made us one physically, mentally as well as spiritually. How we have birthed babies, as well as buried a baby together. We’ve done all this hand and hand ,as we have walked the path that God has chosen for us. It helps that Patrick, my husband looks like George Clooney, but even if he didn’t I am committed to death do us part. Yes, when I said my marriage vows, even if I was only twenty years old at the time, I meant them. As Ed, a friend of Pat’s family who married us said when speaking about the vows, “THEY TOOK.” How about you ? Are you putting your marriage first after you relationship to God, or has something else taken that place in your heart? Ladies when you stand before God, He’s not going to ask how many souls you saved or even how clean was you house, but rather how did you live out you vocation of marriage. This is my commandment that you love one another that your joy may be full, are the words of an old song. It should be are marriage theme song. Start today live the marriage covenant lovingly. God’s plan always works best. Marriage was his idea in the first place. Go back and read Genesis 1.
What do you think? ASK ELLEN
www.momsbestwisdom.com

Remember When

2008-11-27T17:03:00.000-08:00

Dear Moms,
I’m sad to finish this section on thankfulness, because I believe that having a thankful heart is a key to opening yourself up for God’s blessings to you. Praise and thanking God need to be a part of our every day life. No, how can we can’t count our blessings if we can’t see our blessings.? Pray for eyes to see God’s blessings in your life, and ears to hear God speaking just to you, I guarantee you will be full of thanksgiving and joy.
There is and old Bill Gaither Song that goes like this, “WE HAVE THIS MOMENT TO HOLD IN OUR HANDS, AND TO TOUCH AS IT RUNS THRU OUR FINGERS LIKE SAND, YESTERDAYS GONE AND TOMORROW MAY NEVER COME BUT WE HAVE THIS MOMENT TODAY.” That one sentence says so much. We have no guarantee in this life that we will be here for tomorrow. Only God knows the day that we will take our last breathe and say our goodbyes to all we love. Some people don’t even get the chance to say goodbye. We are only given this moment to live to the fullest, so live it with all your heart and treasure the moment, mom. Yes, live each day like it is your last..
This Thanksgiving our family is going to do something very different. I hope that it will become a family tradition. We are to gather together with a glass of wine in hand and toast my dad who died almost two years ago. My dad always loved Thanksgiving, because it meant being with the entire family. So together we will honor dad and share memories of times with dad and thanksgiving for the way he formed our lives and made us the people we are today. I so look forward to this as my mom, my siblings, my children, my husband, myself will all be a part of this celebration of a life well lived. I hope that we will hear a memory that we did not know before from someone else’s life. I know Dad will be smiling down from heaven enjoying the moment and God the Father will be smiling as well as we show honor to our earthly father.
As I was thinking about this blog, I thought about memories, that live forever in our hearts. I thought about reconnection with people, I thought of touching a life for Christ in ways you will never know until you go to your heavenly home. Who lives in your memory mom? Is it your first grade teacher, who made such an impression on your heart, that you vowed to be a teacher one day yourself, and now you are. Is it that Best Friend who you shared secrets with and laughed until you sides ached on those all night sleep over, then she moved to another city. Is it your step children who you raised as your own, until your husband left you taking them out of your life. Is it a mother of one of your classmates in middle school who helped to form your faith? If it wasn’t for her bold witness you may not know Jesus today? Is it a broken relationship of you and your parents, you and your siblings, you and a friend or you and a grown child? Life gets busy, time flies, we always put off until tomorrow. Don’t procrastinate any longer, repair that relationship today. Reconnect to that teacher and thank her. Call that Best Friend and laugh until your sides ache. Write those Step children a letter to let them know they still live in your heart. Encourage that mother in the faith she passed down to you. Now is the time. Tomorrow may never come, but we have this moment today. Remember when, do some memory searching, my friend , then reach out in love. Who knows , some one may even reach out to you this season, and your FLASH FROM THE PAST,” could be a life changing moment. It never can happen if people don’t learn to listen to that still small voice of God in their heart, then act on His leadings. Relationship are not only important to me, they are important to God. So take this blog to pray mom, then DO WHATEVER HE TELLS YOU. God will turn your water into wine and people will bubble over with joy.
Happy Thanksgiving to all,
Ellen
www.momsbestwisdom.com

The Kindness Box

2008-11-27T16:36:00.001-08:00

Dear Moms,
Jesus says, “WE ARE THE LIGHT OF THE WORLD . LET YOUR LIGHT SO SHINE BEFORE MEN THAT WILL SEE YOUR GOOD WORKS AND GIVE GLORY TO GOD THE FATHER.” We al know so well the Scripture, BY GRACE ARE YOU SAVED, THRU FAITH, NOT OF OURSELF, IT IS A GIFT OF GOD. One way we can let out light shine before men and love them into the Kingdom of God is by doing random Acts of Kindness. I believe that even though we are not saved by good works but because of our Savior and Lord Jesus Christ’s shed Blood on the cross, we should live in the Spirit doing a life of good works. These good works should flow out of a heart of Gratefulness and not out of duty That said I am going to concentrate on a different angle of thankfulness today. This is a practical way to cultivate a thankful heart in others including your husband and your children.
Aa my children grew older and more self sufficient, I began to be called by God into numerous ministries. One of my favorite ministries God put on my heart to do I call the “KINDNESS BOX.” I have a black leather container, in the kitchen near the phone , which I have given this nickname. The kindness box is used to house slips of paper that I collect throughout the week. For example if some one calls me and they say Susan’s father just died. I immediately write down, on a slip of paper, send Susan a Mass card for her dad. If I get wind that Jeanne is going thru a hard time with one of her children, a write down on another slip of paper, send Jeanne a word of encouragement. If my brother is taking the Bar in California or my son in law has a job interview, my slip of paper will read write to Craig or Dan and tell them I am praying for them. I collect random acts of kindness that I can perform to bless another when they least expect in, yet need it the most. Once a week I sit down with a pen, note cards, my address book and a prayer, inviting the Holy Spirit to lead me to just what to say to each person. I some times add one of my books as my gift to bless them, again as the Lord leads. This ministry takes a couple hours of my time each week and can be costly. All letters are mailed at the Post Office. This is one of my favorite ministries, that God calls me to be a part of. This ministries cultivates a Thankful Heart in all who receive these letters. How do I know this? Many times I will get feedback from the either with a phone call or a thank you card. Then it is my turn to be thankful, knowing that I was lead by God’ Spirit to bless that person. I am always looking for opportunities to thank others as well. This ministry combines two of my favorite things, Reviving the lost art of letter writing and blessing people I may not ever know. Often friends or family members, that know I have the “KINDNESS BOX,” will actual call me and ask me to send some one a card or note of encouragement. I never refuse, Every one loves to get mail and just hearing from and old friend, a family member or a stranger is a great cause to rejoice. This ministry is truly a labor of love. Since Charity begins at home, I always look for ways to bless, my husband, my children, my mom. My siblings and of course my grandbabies. One of my favorite Scriptures is , “GIVE AND IT SHALL BE GIVEN UNTO YOU. PRESSED DOWN, SHAKEN TOGETHER AND OVERFLOWING.” This “Kindness Box,” is great way to grow the fruit of Kindness in your heart.
Every one loves to hear the words, “YOU’VE GOT MAIL,” especially your children. Mail your children letters occasionally, even if they live in the same house as you. They will truly JUMP FOR JOY! The element of surprise adds to the pleasure, so mail them a letter when they least expect it. A WAY TO GO CARD, when they make the team that that trained so hard for ,or made the honor roll for the first time. An apology letter when you have been wrong. Or a letter of encouragement when their best friend has moved away. All these acts of kindness done in Christ’s name is a special way to say I love you, and I care. Thankfulness will grow in their hearts and it will bring a smile to both your faces as they mention to you how much you letter blessed them. Mom, even if they don’t say a word, you will know that it touched them by the Additude of their heart. Now mom make this a habit in their lives as well, encourage them to do random acts of kindness, thru letter writing. Have them write a thank you card to the grandparents, a card to a sick friend or letter to a sibling who is away at college. Connecting with people in this way is a great habit to pass down to your children. It will bring such joy and thanksgiving to you when you receive feedback like this, You’ll never guess who I heard from this week , followed by , “IT MADE MY DAY!”
Don’t leave your husband out . I send my husband a letter, card or some form of mail every week. It is a little way of letting him know that I am thinking about him. He says that he always opens the mail when He is all alone because he never knows what will be in the envelop. This gives the element of surprise and a touch of romance all rolled into one.
E-Mail is great but there is nothing better than a letter write in your own handwriting that the receiver can read and reread, knowing that it came straight from you heart. So let you light shine, establish a kindness box or even a kindness drawer in your kitchen will do. Take the time to let those you love know you care.
That’s All From Ellen
www.momsbestwisdom.com

.

Retreat

2008-11-25T05:58:00.000-08:00

Dear Moms:
I have a group of gals I go on retreat with twice a year. This group of four has been retreating together for almost 20 years. That’s commitment, my friend. We have laughed together, cried together, been pregnant together, nursed our babies together, shared our lives, shared our wisdom, shared our hearts and most important shared our prayers together. Retreats are planned and enjoyed by all , even if it means bringing a nursing baby along. We delight in sharing with all we meet , on retreat weekend, that together we have 22 children. People just roll their eyes at us. In our younger days, one of these dear sisters in the Lord used to point out a group of old and gray Senior woman in a foursome, like us, and say that’s us in 20 years. Well, I guess you could say she was prophetic, and the jokes on us, as now 20 years later we are those woman, older and grayer, and wiser for the journey. I trust these ladies with my life. We have learned to trust each others correction , as well as each others encouragement, and tremendous growth has happened because of our commitment to retreat together. This is my recipe for moms to be able to grow spiritually, retreating two times a year with three other trusted friends. You‘ll be glad you did.
So why do I write this under a subject called Thankfulness? You see one of our friends moved from Aiken, South Carolina to Greenville, South Carolina. And two of us went to visit this past weekend. As always God moved, it was life changing and I thought you might want to gleam from what we learned. As amazing as it may seem, when we began to pray for each other, as God would have it, we were all working on the exact same area of our lives. We were all trying to overcome anger, which grew into bitterness, which produced the fruit of complaining. As we beseeched the Lord Jesus Christ, the Holy Spirit quickened to one of the girls, “REPLACE COMPLAINING WITH THANKSGIVING.” They did not know that that was the subject of my blog this week. Once home I realized that this was a huge revelation. It was just what moms need to hear. How many moms go thru a day complaining and not even realizing that they had a anger problem that grew into bitterness and they were now eating the fruit of complaining with their ears deaf to it. Ask the Lord to make you aware of what is coming out of your mouth. You will be amazed. “You didn’t wet your diaper again?” “Can’t you learn to pick up your own toys? “ “Do I have to do everything around this place?” “All I ask for is a little help?” “ I’m going to scream because I am so frustrated with you!” Sound familiar mom. That believe it or not is complaining. We all do it so often that we don’t even hear ourselves any more. The first step to change is knowing that there is something that needs changing. We all prayed on th retreat, that God would guard our tongue and give us a grateful heart. I think it is working, because I for one am bubbling over with joy. I know this is true because I had lunch with a friend and she remarked , “she’s on caffeine.” This freedom from complaining and making a conscience effort to be thankful has lightened my load and set me free. The truth will set you free, if you walk in God’s truth. When the Son sets you free, you are free indeed.
As Thanksgiving Day approaches, let us make a new start. Let us fill our hearts with praise to the Lord for the many blessings He has bestowed on our lives. Let us guard our tongues, and guard our hearts. Let us replace, bad habits with good habits. Let Thanksgiving overflow in your life as God reign in your heart.
That’s all for Ellen www.momsbestwisdom .com

Thanksgiving Week

2008-11-24T10:08:00.000-08:00

Dear Moms,
Thanksgiving is coming, a day set aside to count our blessings. God’s word says, “IN EVERYTHING GIVE THANKS FOR THIS IS THE WILL OF GOD IN CHRIST JESUS FOR YOU.” He also encourages, REJOICE ALWAYS, PRAY CONSTANTLY, AND GIVE THANKS IN ALL CIRCUMSTANCES.” I guess God’s perfect will is that we have a grateful heart 365 days a year. We, moms, need to help our children to cultivate a thankful heart, as well. So how do we do that? First off, Mom, do you have a thankful heart yourself, even when it is not Thanksgiving? Remember a child is a mimic. They we will do what you do, quicker than they do what you say. What is coming out of your mouth mom? What is coming out of your child’s mouth mom? Secondly, another way to cultivate a thankful heart is to make the choice to guard your tongue and use positive parenting. An example of a positive parent with a thankful heart would be the following conversation, “THANK YOU FOR PICKING UP YOUR ROOM CARTER, IT LOOKS GREAT.” Remember mom all these principles are learned. They are usually learned thru repetition. Do not tire in the training process, once accomplished, it will bear good fruit .Remember to make the changes first in yourself. Pray, “LORD CHANGE ME.”
Thankfulness can not be demanded, because it must come from the heart, God’s Word says, “OUT OF THE ABUNDANCE OF THE HEART, THE MOUTH SPEAKS.” Thankfulness should be encouraged and taught. You will often hear a mom say, over and over again, “SAY THANK YOU, GRANT.” Soon Grant will be saying, “ MOMMY, YOU NEED TO SAY THANK YOU.” Is Grant being disrespectful? No, not at all. Grant is telling his mom, “ I’m listening , and I’m learning.” That is a time to rejoice greatly with Grant, and praising him highly. Do you know what that will cause Grant to do? He will want to say thank you more. In fact he will be looking actively for opportunities to thank you. It is similar to when they learn to say, “I LOVE YOU.” In a way your child is learning that there is power in their words, power to please.
Not only should your child learn how to thank people, but also how to thank God, Thanking God acts as a form of prayer. Be a good example mom. Thank God out loud when a prayer is answered. Start a new tradition, go around the diner table, thanking God for one thing each. Thanksgiving is a good time to start this tradition. You could even pass a glass of wine around the table, like we do, and each person is asked to take a sip and thank God for something. We call the challis where we put the wine, THE BLESSING CUP. There are a lot of ways to teach Thankfulness. We want our children to be grateful people. This habit, taught young, will serve them well their whole life. God loves a thankful heart, it opens one up for great blessings. I too love to be around a cheerful and thankful people. How about you? No one likes to be around a grumbler? When God’s people grumbled in the desert, what happened to them? Read Exodus? I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to spend 40 days in the desert, and I don’t even think I like quail?
Many years ago I learned a way to pray that was quite helpful. It took the word ACTS and had a Key word for each letter. Here is the key words.
A---ADORATION
C---CONTRICITION
T---THANKSFULNESS
S---SUPPLICATION
Thankfulness is a very important part of a prayer time for a child as well as for an adult. If we teach our children to thank God more than we ask Him for things, it will become a habit. Thankfulness is also avery important part of everyday life. So mom, be the good example. This is a necessary and important, life lesson and character trait to learn. What are you going to thank God for today? What will you thank your child for today? Let me hear your feedback. I’m looking forward to hearing from you.
Ellen at www.momsbestwisdom.com

Jealousy 5

2008-11-23T20:44:00.000-08:00

Dear Moms,
This is the last attempt I am going to make to give my wisdom and experience on the area of jealousy. I felt that the Lord put on my heart to write about this area of jealousy that you may not of thought of before. It comes in the form of a word of caution to us moms It is an insight I have, thru life experiences, of how we can avoid being a stumbling block to another mother, causing her to fall into the sin of jealousy. Now we would never purposely do this, of course. My hope that this awareness will help us to be sensitive to other mothers who may struggle in this area of jealousy.
Let‘s face it mom, when our child accomplishes a milestone in their life, we get excited. Yes, so excited that we want to tell the whole world You can hear a new mom say, “Oh my baby slept thru the night at six month old.” You can hear a toddler mom say, “At our house, we have NO MORE DIAPERS. Meghan is Potty Trained.” You can hear a Middle school mom exclaim, “Ryan got all A‘s on his report card.” You can even hear an older mom rejoice with, “My daughter is getting married.” Now you know that I am all about, REJOICE WITH THOSE WHO REJOICE AND SORROW WITH THOSE WHO SORROW,” but some times this innocent rejoicing, can grow into boasting or bragging. Timing is everything mom Most moms are able to rejoice with you on your child‘s accomplishments, unless it is bad timing. If the conversation goes like this, “My baby is a year old and he is still not sleeping thru the night.” that is not the time to share how great a sleeper your newborn is. I who have had seven babies in a row who woke up every two hours for their first year of life, have trouble rejoicing with these moms. Instead the jealousy in me causes me to say, “You should write a book on how to get your newborn to sleep thru the night.” I sarcastically add, “I want to buy the first copy.” They then almost always add, “OH, it was nothing I did. They just started sleeping thru the night on their own.” Now those are just the encouraging words I need to chase the jealousy blue away. If at a girl talk coffee , one mom desperately comments, “Kevin, is still having accidents during the day and wets his bed almost every night. I don‘t know what to do?” That is not the time to mention you toilet trained Meghan in just one day. I‘m afraid that Kevin‘s mom is going to ask you to train him. She will say something like this, I‘d like to see you train Kevin in just one day“. She may even add, “I dare you ,” or better yet, ,”I‘ll pay you.” If a friend calls you crying because their daughter just flunked math, she doesn‘t want to hear how Ryan‘s name is on the honor roll all year. Lastly, if you have a friend whose child has a hard time finding a date, their excitement level will not be over the roof on your daughters engagement.
As Christians, we are taught to guard our tongue. Again timing is everything. Look at who your audience is as well. If its your mom, Brag on. Yet if it is a person who is struggling in the are you have succeeded, in it might be a good idea not to mention this good news at that time. I love good news, and I’m probably guilty of bragging a lot, so I am speaking to myself, as well as to you, moms. We need to learn like the scripture says, “HOW PRECIOUS IS A WORD SPOKEN IN DUE SEASON.” We need to speak words of life and words of healing. For instance, when I was frustrated over potty training my seventh child, over two,( even though all his siblings were trained on their two year old birthday,) a wise woman said, “Ellen, I can assure you, he will not go to kindergarten in diapers.” Even though I wasn’t too sure what she said was true, it did give me hope.
Now we are not responsible for how people are going to react to our good news, but we can be sensitive to others as we learn to listen between the lines. This is a good barometer, look at their response to our comment. The other barometer is the gift of the Holy Spirit in our hearts. If the Holy Spirit convicts you, be quick to forgive or ask forgiveness. It will keep the lines of communication open between you and others and between you and God. No we don’t ever want to be a stumbling block to any one.
Motherhood often finds us walking along an unknown path. We need to all realize that every child is unique and grows and develops at a different time lines. Learning not to compare your child to other children and even learning not to compare yourself to other mothers. This is my recipe for avoiding jealousy. God never compares u to any one. In fact,. He says, “YOU ARE FEARFULLY AND WONDERFULLY MADE.” Begin to see yourself as God does, then you will have a lot to rejoice about. That knowledge alone should be enough to keep jealousy far from your heart. So let the GOOD NEWS ROLL.
ELLEN www.momsbestwisdom.com

Jealousy 4

2008-11-23T20:42:00.000-08:00

Dear Moms,
No one is really exempt from the jealousy monster. It can even attack us big people if we don‘t guard our hearts. You know how they say, “WHEN YOU GET OLDER, YOU TURN INTO YOUR MOTHER?” It is a true statement. You see as we age we begin to understand why our mom did things the way she did . Then we are able to forgive her, for things we judged her, and maybe even held bitterness toward her because of the way she raised us. How does this miracle of the heart come about? You see as we walk thru life circumstance, and yes mature, we begin to realize why she did things the way she did ,because we make the same decisions. .This healing of heart causes us to love and cherish our moms more .I think that it is a work of God.
I say all this because, when my mom was raising me, she had a late in life baby, my sister Julie. Julie, was raised as an only child because, she was so much younger than all the other siblings. Was Julie spoiled? Of course she was . Julie was given everything her heart desired. She received not only any material thing she wanted, but also, all my mom’s love and all my mom’s attention. As a sixteen year old child, when Julie was born, I couldn’t understand, this at all. You see when I was being raised, we never even had the money for a new dress. In fact we were so poor that my mom would actually take us to a store, look at Prom Dresses, draw the dress on a piece of paper, then go home an attempt to sew the dress. You can imagine what it looked like. I guess you could say I was jealous, because when Julie was the same age, she not only had the Prom Dress of her choice, but also competed in many, many Beauty Pageants. We all know the money it takes to be in a Beauty Pageant. This jealousy didn‘t stop Julie and I from growing into best friends. She was kind enough to pass all her clothes down to my daughters and I.
One day, as life went on, I found myself with a late in life baby myself. .Sean was a preemie, and was ill a lot. It seemed like every other week, but you know how us moms exaggerate and remember things big. I had to give Sean, a lot of my time and a lot of my attention, even though I had six other children living at home. To top it off, we had made the decision to put my children in Catholic School. The other children had been raised in Christian Community, where uniforms were the standard even on a High School level . What did that mean? It meant, the baby girl, our sixth child, Kaitlin, needed a fashion wardrobe. When raising the other children, because there were so many, there was never extra funds to buy even a new dress, no way was there a wardrobe fund. Remember, we all wore Julie’s hand me downs . Now with only three children at home, and not having to tithe to Christian Community, there was a lot of extra money, for our baby girl to buy the clothing desire of her heart. Do you see a pattern here. My mom was quick to point out, “ now do you see why Julie was given everything she wanted?” I had to admit I did. No you don‘t set out in parenting to give one child more than another, but circumstances change and people change. Life is God‘s way of changing us on the inside. I have to admit, as I got older, I turned into my mother. My mother who I had once judged and, yes held bitterness toward, I now understood. It helps to walk a mile in a person‘s shoes.. What about my other children? Is there any jealousy present? Of course there is, any one would be jealous in these circumstances. Being a Christian mother, as well as, having already walked this path before myself, I try extremely hard to make it up to them. I dote on their children, and try to visit frequently, serving my children in any way I can.. When I visit, we often do a shopping spree just for them, for no reason at all. For that short time, I encourage them to enjoy being the only child with all my love and all my attention. We both treasure this time together.
Now that I am older and wiser, I know that as life goes on in their life, and they become their mother, they too will understand, why I did things the way I did.. I guess you can say, ”IT’S THE CIRCLE OF LIFE. What do you think moms?
Ellen www.momsbestwisdom.com

Jealousy 3

2008-11-19T20:27:00.000-08:00

Dear Moms,
We are discussing the topic of jealousy this week. One of the ways to assure that your child will have issues with jealousy, is for a parent to favor one child over another child. Another way to guarantee a jealousy problem between siblings is to treat one child harsher than the other children, or reject a child. Most times this is innocently done and the parent is not aware of their actions. At least, thinking the best of the parent, I sure hope not. You’d think, if a parent became aware of the fact that they were either favoring a child or, heaven forbid being harsh to a child or even rejecting a child, they would immediately repent and thus change their behavior. So how is it that this problem even exists? Some times parents are in denial and they are un able to see their own fault even when pointed out to them. Moms check your heart. Are you giving your children equal love and equal attention and equal encouragement? Another reason this happens is when one child gets on your nerves. You know the saying,” I have one nerve left and you are getting on it.” In other word most likely a personality conflict exists between mother and child. Mom that is no excuse, you are the adult and you need to, thru the grace of God, overcome this. My suggestion to you is take this child to God in prayer each day and ask God to change your heart. Ask God to change your child’s behavior. Ask God to reveal to you their good qualities and to help you accept them for the person they are, faults and all.
Another suggestion I can make comes from a suggestion I received from a friend. The reason I mention it, is that it bore such good fruit. One of her children not only got on her nerves, but also on her husband’s nerves as well. This was at a certain age in the child’s life, probably middle school,. We all know how tough puberty is. After brainstorming together, they came up with a game plan. They decided that every time they would pass by the child they would make a conscious effort to give the child a big hug followed by an encouraging word or a, “I LOVE YOU.” We all know from 1Cor.13 that, “LOVE NEVER FAILS.” This plan sure succeeded above and beyond their expectations. This child, now grown is a confident, well adjust, as well as , well liked individual. If you meet this child you’d probably guess that they were the parents favorite all along. These excellent parents, have succeeded in making all their children feel like they are the favorite. Now isn’t that just what God does to His children. He loves us all Best. That is our goal moms to love them all the Best.
I was fortunate enough that none of my children got on my nerves for very long. Oh, I had my days. Don’t we all. I did have the experience where other peoples children got on my nerves. This became quite a trial since we were the, “ kid friendly house,” where all the children hung out. Some times it was just a daily prayer matter and another opportunity to choose over my flesh. The good news was they didn’t live with me. God has a way of teaching us to love the unlovable. If you think about it some days some one is praying to God to help them love you. Yes, some days we are the unlovable. If we remember Jesus’ words, LET HE WITH NO SINS THROW THE FIRST STONE.” Then remember the price that Our Savior willing paid for our sins, we are some how able to cut our child a little slack, no matter how annoying they have been that day
There are a few examples in Scripture where parent played favorites. If you are interested, read the story of the twins Essua and Jacob,, in the book of Genesis. Their mother, Rebekeka loved Jacob, and yes favored him. Their father Isaac, found Essua to be the apple of his eye. You need to read the story yourself to see what fruit they bore for their in ability to give their twin boys equal love. The bible character Sarah , also found in Genesis was unable to love her step son Ishmael, like she loved her son Isaac. This not only caused problems for Ishmael, but also for his father Abraham and his birth mother Haggai as well. The bible is full of example of how to parent. We can learn what to do and what not to do if we study God’s word. I hope this has give you some food for thought.
Parenting, no one ever said it would be easy. Let me caution you, if you think that you child will not notice that you are favoring, treating them harshly or rejecting them, you are wrong. I think they are the first to notice even if you act that way for one day. Listen to your child, mom. Even if is not real to you it is real to them, so if they point it out or your spouse points it out, thank them and take it to prayer.
Jealousy can not be eliminated from our fallen human nature, but mom we surely don’t want to be the cause of leading our child into a sin that could become a life long habit pattern. So do your best to love one another equally, for, “Love is from God and those who love are form God, for God is love.”
That’s all from Ellen www.momsbestwisdom.com

Jealousy 2

2008-11-18T04:58:00.000-08:00

Dear Moms,
Jealousy is not limited to toddlers, although they are the most likely
Age group to voice their opinion about their jealousy issues, out loud. No, the truth is that any one, at any age can be known to fall into this sin. The only difference is that at two, they are not accountable, remember seven is said to be the age of accountability. Any one younger than seven is being trained to avoid sin and replace it with virtue. Scripture says, “REJOICE WITH THOSE WHO REJOICE AND SORROW WITH THOSE WHO SORROW.” This is easier said than done, especially when someone is given an award, ,or a promotion, or a compliment, or even a coat of many colors, that we secretly hoped had been ours. Yes, the sin of jealousy is very evident in the Scriptures. Ask Joseph’s brothers how they felt when their father blessed Joseph alone with a coat of many colors. Wait a minute, you don’t have to ask them, the bible tells us that they were so jealous that they put him in the bottom of a well. Then had him sold into slavery. I guess you could say that they were jealous. It didn’t help any that Joseph boasted about his beautiful gift wearing it with pride, making sure all the brothers took note. We can first locate jealousy in Genesis, the very first book of the Bible. You see Cain was so jealous of his brother Able, when Abel’s gift pleased God more, that he killed Abel. Yes, jealousy, unrepented of can grow to murder. That is why moms, we need to be diligent to teach our children not only how to channel their anger and jealousy, but also how to learn the power and the freedom of forgiveness. We need to teach them also, how to rejoice when something good happens to one of their siblings.
One way we would accomplish this in our home and try to avoid jealousy was to try to always be there as a family for every event for each child. No matter how big or how small the happening was we were there to cheer, support. and encourage. This was no small task as we raised seven close together children, who were all very active and accomplished. None the less we tried, even if it meant eating dinner together in the bleachers of a Basketball Game, or dragging our newborn to an out of town soccer tournament and freezing our toes off. One thing that saved us was that our children were only allowed to participate in one activity per season. No one seemed to complain about going to a sibling’s event because, they knew that their siblings would be there in turn to support them. These events became our families main form of entertainment. A certain healthy, family pride replaced jealousy as we all cheered the family member on they made the winning goal, or shoot the final basket, or even walked down the homecoming court. All were present as one child graduated as valedictorian of her senior class. Way to go Amanda! There was definitely no jealousy there as all would agree, no one worked harder than Amanda.
This being there for your children is no fool proof guarantee that there will not be jealousy or disappointment. We actually have one child that believes we were never there for him. He has no recollection of the time and money we spent carpooling him and friends on his traveling soccer team. Don’t let your child’s opinion cause you to get down on yourself, you are the adult and most children are remembering with their sometime vague childhood memory. You of course lived along side their life as an adult.
Jealousy is one of those character defects that some people have a lot of trouble with and some people almost never have trouble with at all. My advice to you as a mom is try to form your child with a giving heart at their earliest formation, where they are able to be happy when others are blessed. It will serve them well their entire life. It is harder to un learn a character flaw as an adult, than to learn a virtue as a young child. If you have a child over seven that tend to wallow in jealousy and self pity, work against it by finding opportunities for them to bless others without expecting any thing in return. If their focus is directed on others rather than themselves, they can’t help but chase all jealousy away. Just like there is always some one who has more than you, there is always someone who has less. Teach your child to be that person who looks to make a different instead of looking to get a pat on the back. That knowledge of pleasing the Lord Jesus and that inner satisfaction of a deed well done, will out way the tempory pleasure of being acknowledged. Teach them that we live our life for an audience of one and He will reward us for a job well done. As my son Sean says, “OUR REWARD IS NOT ON THIS EARTH. OUR REWARD IS IN HEAVEN.” We want to hear one voice say, “WELL DONE YOU GOOD AND FAITHFUL SERVANT,” and that is the voice of our God.
Lastly, food for thought. My sister Julie was at a birthday party with her son when I called her yesterday. This birthday boy age 10 was opting to have a Toys For Tots party, instead of a party for himself. It was a huge celebration and apparenting a yearly event. I for our not only want to meet this young man but also the parents that are raising him. No jealousy resides in his camp as he welcomes gifts to bless others, instead of himself. I have to say , “WELL DONE YOU GOOD AND FAITHFUL SERVANT.” May God Bless your day. Ellen www.momsbestwisdom.com

Jealousy

2008-11-18T04:57:00.000-08:00

Dear Moms,
Upon the request of my daughter, who just ushered in a new baby into her family, joining a two year old sibling, I’ve chosen the topic of jealousy. What a great topic. Jealousy is real at any age, especially to a toddler who is welcoming a new brother or sister. I for one, just like all of you moms out there tried very, very hard to make all the children feel equal love and equal acceptance, I have to admit, even with the best of efforts, some jealousy is going to occur. In fact, I believe it is a natural and yes needed stage of development, that you would rather they voice , and yes act out , immediately after the new baby arrives, rather than suppress and show later on. The jealousy is going to come out in some form, it is not a question of if, but rather a question of when and a question of how. It is as normal as temper-tantrums for two year olds and rebellion for teens.
What causes jealousy to occur? Most toddlers feel that they are the center of the universe, the whole universe. And in their two year old mind the whole universe is their home, their mommy and their daddy. When the new baby joins the family, with all their God- given cuteness and yes total dependence on mom as well, it turns our little toddlers world upside down. As much as mom and dad try to live their lives business as usual, it is anything but usual. Babies change everything, your time, is no longer your own for one , especially if you are nursing your newborn. You, mom are recovering from a birth, which is no small thing even if your labor was short like mine. You, mom are also adjusting to being a full time caregiver to this new life, while at the same time balancing your old life. You have added a lot of extra responsibility, yet subtracted no extra responsibility. To add to the mix, you are surviving on little or even no sleep. If your babies are like my newborns, there is a lot of crying going on at your house. It’s not all newborn tears either, if you are a normal mom, you’ve shed a tear or two too. Add a temper- tantrum toddler to the mix and let’s face it, some days, you are just over the top. So what is a mother to do?
Some things in motherhood have easy answers, some do not. Jealousy is not any easy problem to overcome, it takes a lot of patience and a lot of time. The main concept that you have to get across to the siblings ,no matter what their age, is that mommy and daddy have enough love to go around to them all. The other concept that you have to get across is that the new baby can never replace them. How do you do that you might ask? I can tell you some things I did to ease in their adjustment.
1. I made a conscience effort to make them a part of the babies life as soon as possible. I actually can home from the hospital an hour after giving birth because my husband is a physician. The new sibling was introduced immediately.
2. The baby came bearing gifts for the siblings.
3. I let all the children hold the baby immediately and upon request.
4. When the children were in the room I gave them attention and not the baby.
5. I would let my husband hold the baby so I had two arms free for my toddler.
6.I always had my newborn in the snuggly so that I could pay attention and meet the needs of all the family members.
7. I would set aside a certain time each day to do a special project or outing with the toddler.
8. I would read to the toddler at night while my husband held the baby.
9. I would encourage the toddler to take an active part in caring for the newborn like going to get the diapers, picking out clothes for the Baby to wear , and I would be sure and praise them for their efforts.
10. I would encourage them like, “our baby does cry a lot, that makes me sad, “Or If they said, “ I wish our baby would go away, “I would say, them you would miss her. She is going to grow up one day and play with you, won’t that be fun?
11. If at all possible I would take the toddler on a Outing without the baby, leaving the baby home with dad..
12. I would market the Big Girl Or Big boy theme, “Wow, you are great Lego builder, that’s because you are a big boy.” Or let’s play dress up and put on make up because you are a big girl. Babies can’t do fun stuff like that.” Or let’s bake together and eat cookies” “Babies can’t do that, they don’t have teeth.”
13. Lastly , I would market the fact of how much the baby love them. Look He smiled at you, he sure loves his big brother.
Mom, with a little bit of extra TLC time, a lot of extra patience and a healthy dose of love mixed with a lot of creativity that God will inspire this normal phase of development will pass. God will see you thru and you probably, like labor will not even remember it.
It’s Ellen. www,momsbestwisdom.com

E is for Encourage

2008-11-12T09:55:00.000-08:00

Dear Moms,
Once again we are at the finish line. This time on our subject of Discipline. The final key letter being E for ENCOURAGE. I know we touched on this on one of the other sections, but I can’t stress enough just how important Encouragement is in the area of discipline. If you remember we discipline our children to get them to change a particular behavior, that is the goal of discipline. Not to harm our children, not to blow off steam, not even to get them to stop doing things that just annoy you. Remember God says to, “TRAIN UP YOUR CHILD IN THE WAY OF THE LORD.” Loving disciplining you child teaches them to choose righteous, Godly behavior, over sin. It teaches them to be form by the principles of the Bible and how to walk in the ways of the Lord our God .Sometimes a punishment is extremely effective in changing a child’s behavior, sometimes it is not. We must do what works.
Encouraging a child can be very effective in changing a child’s behavior, especially if your child is a people pleaser. Many children are so willing to please their parents that they will do anything it takes to get their parent attention of praise. These children love encouragement, and positive attention. This is a parent’ s compliant child, usually. That is why it is a must for parents to get to know each child individually. As we said, “WHAT WORKS FOR YOUR COMPLIANT CHILD, MOST LIKELY WILL NOT WORK FOR YOU STRONG WILLED CHILD. If you child changes his behavior because of Praise and Encouragement, give them a daily dose of just that and lots of it. I promise you, your friends and neighbors will all be jealous and beg you to tell them your secret. They may even ask you to write a book on the subject. Before your head gets to swelled up, take it from me, it is the child, not necessarily the parenting skills. The secret, I can tell you , “IT IS BY THE GRACE OF GOD.” Praise still by far is my favorite form of discipline. It is always my first choice in trying to change a particular behavior. The truth is, like any thing else, it will not work with every child.
If you child is strong willed, it will require stronger measures of discipline on your part. Some strong willed children actually like the negative attention of hearing you raise your voice, or punishing them. They may be known to try to get your goat on many occasion, daily if possible. I heard a Preacher say, “THEY CAN ONLY GET YOUR GOAT IF YOU HAVE A GOAT TO GET.” Do you have a goat to get, mom. In the same way, they can only push your buttons, if you have buttons to push. Mom keep your goat and your buttons under the authority of Jesus Christ and under the control of the Holy Spirit. Not only does your child need daily encouragement, but so do you mom. You need the Encouragement that only God can give. Don’t be surprised mom if God is using encouragement in you life to change your behavior as well. God is the perfect parent and a wise parent .Let us copy our Creator. Let us be imitators of Christ. Yes, we must encourage our children daily. Sometimes it will work and sometimes it will not work, but never mom stop encouraging.
I believe that the words said to our children, help to form their self image. We want our children to have a positive self image. Use your words wisely, for once said, you cannot take them back. Words wrongly spoken, wound, sometimes they wound deep. Protect your child, do not crush their spirit. Train yourself to as James says in the Bible, “ BE QUICK TO LISTEN, SLOW TO SPEAK AND SLOW TO ANGER.” Be like the proverbs 31 Woman, “AND THE LAW OF KINDNESS WAS ON HER LIPS.”
ENCOURAGE ONE ANOTHER IN THE LORD,” the Bible tells you so. Mom start with those little children that God entrusted in your care to form into soldiers for the army of God.
Mom Discipline, when you break the word down one letter at a time, it doesn’t seem all that hard to do. I’ve given you some tools, have they been helpful? What would you add. E-Mail me Ellen. www.momsbestwisdom.com

N is for Next Time

2008-11-12T09:53:00.000-08:00

Dear Moms,
How many times have you heard a mom say, “The next time you do that, you will be punished.” or How many times have you heard a mom say, “The next time you say that you will be punished.” If you heard them say it more than one time, it is more than one time too many, they should be saying it, in my book. They are on the right tract, however. I believe a mom should always give a warning, especially to a preschooler. In fact, that is the next key word on the topic of discipline, for the letter N….NEXT TIME.
Always give a warning, one warning, not two not three, not etc. Your child is smart, in fact, he or she is a genius. They will quickly learned to obey, one step before the punishment is given. So if you warn two times, they will obey after two times. I wanted my children to obey on the first time. You would often hear me say, when I was parenting my seven blessings from God, “YOU NEED TO OBEY ON THE FIRST TIME, I AM NOT GOING TO ASK YOU AGAIN, YOU WILL BE DISCIPLINED.”
I did believe in giving a warning. Why ? If Johnny doesn’t know that it is a spank able offense to smash cheerios in the rug, he will be shocked and offended by the spanking. The warning makes it clear of the rules, especially for toddler who forget the rules if not reminded daily, and sometimes hourly. When warning a child I would stoop down to their level look them right in the eye, eye ball to eye ball. I would hold their little face if necessary. This even works for teenagers. The second part of the equation is that after warning them once and stating what the consequences would be if they did not obey, I would follow thru on what I said. Remember, A mom needs to be consistent. Rules need to be the same every day. A mom needs to be a woman of her word. If she says it, she has to do it. There is safety and security, for a child in being parented by a mom who gives one warning then acts righteously to follow thru. Anything short of that is just an empty threat. Children will quickly learn if you are a follow thru mom or not. A woman of her word raises confident children. What happens if you are not a follow thru mom? YOUR CHILDREN TEST YOU…..SOMETIMES ALL DAY LONG. You see they just want to see how far they can go before you mean what you say. A follow thru mom raises children who obey on the first time. Do you want obedient children or testers?
What do you do if you have spent most of your motherhood, warning and not following thru? You sit down with your children and have a heart to heart talk with them. You say, Mommy has been noticing that things are not going so well around here, there are going to be some changes made. First off, I will give one warning them I will discipline you if you do not obey. Once you have made the new rules clear there will be a time of testing, I promise you that, however you will bear good fruit if you are consistent. Scripture says, LET YOUR YES BE YES AND YOUR NO BE NO.” It is never too late mom. You will be doing your child a tremendous favor to train them up in the way of the Lord. IT IS God‘s command to us.
It is very important, mom, to only let your children play at the homes where you feel comfortable with the discipline and the rules, as well as the parenting skills. My children mainly played at my house. They preferred it that way. We had the kid friendly house as well as the fun house. I made sure of that. If my children wanted to play at a friends house, you could be sure that I knew the parents well and what kind of environment I was letting them go into. Mom take this very seriously, you cannot be too cautious in today’s society. Check it out carefully. There may be more than over warning going on there and it is your job mom that your child is safe at all times. If you have a check in you spirit, It may be the Holy Spirit sending you a Red Flag. Yes, the Holy Spirit give warnings as well as Moms. Just like our child needs to heed our warnings, we must train yourself to heed the warnings of the Spirit of God. Pray that your heart be in tune with God’s heart and that you too mom have ears open to obedience. God’ s Word is lamp unto our feet. God’s Spirit is our guide thru this life here on earth. Take God’s hand. Follow along the path He has Chosen for you to walk.
That’s all for today I have an exercise class. E-MAIL ME ELLEN. wwwmomsbestwisdom.com

I is for Inability

2008-11-06T04:08:00.000-08:00

Dear Moms,

I hope this series on discipline has been helpful. There are only three key words left to talk about. The next key word for the letter I is INABILITY TO COPE. There’s an old song that goes like this, “ MY MAMA SAID THERE WILL BE DAYS LIKE THIS THERE WILL BE DAYS LIKE THIS MY MAMA SAID.” Just knowing that there will be days like this, days that you will feel an inability to cope, that information alone will be a help in getting thru one of those day. Even though that song was not intended to be about motherhood, I wanted to use it to make my point. What is my point, you might be asking yourself? My point is Mom, YOU ARE NOT ALONE. Every Mom, if the truth be told, has a day like this, where she wants to run away to a Caribbean Island, change her name and never change another Pamper again. A day when she is a desperate woman, who is convinced that she can’t go on. She may even feel that she doesn’t love her child or her children. The key word is a day, like this. If however this these days go on for weeks, this is a RED FLAG. Most Mothers realize after a day or two, that they can’t afford a trip to the Caribbean, that they actually like their name and it isn’t so bad changing the Pampers. In other words they realize that their emotions were getting the best of them, and they were just having a bad day. You see mature moms realize that love is a choice and not a feeling. Just like in the scripture I Corinthians 13,which states the qualities of love. What it doesn’t state however is that we must choose to walk in these virtues. Don’t panic mom God will give us the grace to do just that as we spend daily time with him.

Now what if this feeling just doesn’t go away. This feeling of inability to cope, this lack of love for our child, this desperation to run away, what do you do then, mom? This, like I said, is a Red Flag, a warning sign, a cry for help, which should never be ignored. It is very real and needs attention, you can not just pray it away. Here are some important ideas of what to do:
1. Tell your husband immediately, maybe he can take on some of the responsibilities that you are carrying.
2. This is a great time to schedule a meeting with that Older Woman or Spiritual Director, we talked about in another section.
3. Get a break, hire a babysitter, or a maid, or a mother’s helper. If you don’t have the finances for this, trade off with a friend that you trust with your children.
4. Ask your mom to come for a visit. In most cases she can be another set of hands and a wealth of wisdom.
5. Get a new hairdo or buy a new dress. We are woman, some times we just need a lift. How we look on the outside does affect how we feel on the inside.
6. Get into a exercise routine. Every woman is different, chose what flavor of exercise you enjoy, a class, a sport, running, going to the gym, or just popping in a DVD. What ever it is do it regularly, at least three times a week .Exercise will be great to change your outlook on your day.
7. Get a support system of other mothers , who have children the same ages as your children. Get together weekly if not more often.
8. Get a Prayer Partner that can pray with you daily. A person you can call any time day or night that you know you can depend on.
9. Get outdoors. Go for a daily walk, even if it is with the children, and enjoy the sunshine.
10. Go see your doctor. You physical state does affect your mental state. Get a check up to see what is going on.
11. Get some sleep. Nap if possible. We are human, we need sleep. A good night sleep does wonders.
12. Maybe it is time to take a Romantic Get Away with your husband. .How about the Caribbean?

Mom, take some of these practical suggestions. There is always help available. You are not in this alone. There are people who can and will help. Don’t go it alone. ASK FOR HELP. Remember, no one is exempt, all of us have days like this, that’s why my mama said there would be days like this.
E-mail me, ELLEN, I’D like to help!
www.momsbestwisdom.com

L is for Love

2008-11-04T13:05:00.000-08:00

Dear Moms,
“This is my commandment that you love one another that your joy may be full.” The words of that old Christian Song are never more true than in the area of Motherhood .There is nothing more precious than a mother’s love poured out agape’ style on all of her children. That is why love is not only the next key word but also the most important key word in this section on discipline. Mom, always ere toward love. An expectant mother often wonders if they will have enough love for their next child. They love the ones they have so much especially , if they only have one child. Then God blesses them with a second child. They wonder if they will love this child as much as their first. They pray fervently to God for the grace to do just that. Yes, God is always faithful. God showed me a long time ago that the more love we pour out, the more love He fills us with. I know it is a Scriptural Principle, “GIVE AND IT SHLL BE GIVEN UNTO YOU,DOWN, SHAKEN TOGETHER , AND OVERFLOWING. God’s word is true and if He said it, He will surely do it .Think of it as a word picture of th milk supply of a nursing mother, the more milk the baby drinks, the more milk the mom makes. In the same way as you give love out, God fills you with more love to give. It is a principle of supply and demand.
Two key things are important, Love and Consistence. If a mother is strict, yet loving and consistent, her children will most likely become strong and well adjusted adults. If a mother is lenient ,yet loving, and consistent, her children will most likely become strong, and well adjusted adults. I have seen this play out in my life and the lives of other mothers who parented children ,when I was raising my children. I have also observed adults who lacked the qualities of love and consistency and their children were not so well adjusted. My conclusion of my people watching was, IT DOES NOT MATTER SO MUCH IF YOU ARE STRICT OR IF YOU ARE LIENTIENT, WHAT MATTERS MOST IS ARE YOU LOVING AND ARE YOU CONSISTENT. I however believe on trying to strike a healthy balance between being a strict parent and being a lenient parent.
Moms, listen to your children, and let them know how important they are to you. Make sure that they know just how much you love them. Show your love to them not only in words, but also in actions. Never, ever, take your love away as a form of punishment. Your love should be given freely and without end, as God’s Love is given to you. You mom, are your child’s view of God. Your child will feel secure in God’s Love, if your child is secure in your love. Always be ready to give a hug and say, “ I understand.” You might add, “I love you and I will always love you, but that was still wrong. I love you too much to let you be disobedient. After all, I am accountable to God for your behavior. I am raising you for the KINGDOM OF GOD.
The definition of what God means by the word Love is explained thoroughly in the Scripture I Corinthians 13. Read this Scripture Verse slowly and insert the word Mom instead of the word love. It would go something like this…“Mom is very patient. Mom is very kind. Mom is not boastful. Mom is not proud.” If you are any thing like me you will quickly realize that you have a long way to go to become the mother God desires you to be. In disciplining our children let I Corinthians 13 be our measuring stick. Let love be our guide. Let us pray to God each day to be filled with the love we need to discipline our children using Godly Principles. Let us strive to be an example to the world of disciplining our children kindly, patiently, and with the agape’ love that only God can give. Read I Corinthians 13 daily if possible, it will change your heart and it will change your life. Yes, God changes us from within as we spend time with Him.
That’s all from Ellen. www.momsbestwisdom.com

And the winner is...

2008-11-04T13:01:00.000-08:00

comment #14--frugallm who said:
My best mothering tip is to let the dishes sit in the sink and sit down and play with your kids!

I guess since we were late in posting the giveaway, it only makes sense to be late in posting the winner! Thanks to everyone who visited our blog and entered!

Bloggy Giveaway!

2008-10-31T06:57:00.000-07:00

We're getting into this giveaway late, but welcome to those of you who made it to our site!

We are a relatively new blog and website hoping to provide moms with tips on mothering and marriage, ideas for entertaining your children, and support to help you be the best mom you can be. Take a look around our main site to find information on everything from starting your own music playgroup to keeping the romance in your marriage after kids! Check our blog daily for ideas to entertain your kids and keep your sanity as a mom, while at the same time raising your children in a Christian environment. Our archives contain all kinds of ideas on projects and activities based on the letters of alphabet, and our recent posts contain lots advice on a variety of parenting topics. We would love for the blog to become a platform for discussion on these topics, so come back and join the conversation! Currently, we are discussing discipline.

The giveaway is a bible study specifically for mothers (Mom's Best Wisdom Bible Study), and we will through in a few other mom books too!

(The book was written by Ellen Mongan, a mother of seven children, and a Christian writer and speaker. She, along with her daughters, Tarolyn and Amanda, founded this site.)

To win, simply leave a comment giving your best mothering tip! Since we’re entering this carnival late, the giveaway will end at 9 pm (EST) on Saturday, November 1st.

For more great giveaways, visit the carnival at Bloggy Giveaways!

P is for Plan

2008-10-28T17:42:00.001-07:00

Dear Moms,
Did you ever hear the Girl Scout Motto? It is “BE PREPARED.” Motherhood is one job in life that you never know all the answers . You must expect the unexpected, yet the best advice I can give you is, “IT ALWAYS HELPS TO DO YOUR HOMEWORK.” Yes, just like your favorite school teacher used to say. So I guess, the Girl Scout Motto works for Motherhood, as well. In other words. Have a well thought out Plan. In fact that is the next key word in our study of discipline. Having a plan is step two of Intelligent Decisions. Reading about motherhood gives you the information on a problem that may arise. Once you have read the material, then you, mom, need to plan how you will implement the information if that discipline problem occurs. You do not want to be caught off guard. You do not want to just discipline as you go. As my husband says, “Moms, need to make thoughtful decisions.”
Have a plan. Now I am wise enough to know that sometimes the plan may not work. Yes, even the most well thought out plans fail. A mom might be heard saying, “IT LOOKED SO GOOD ON PAPER.” OR, “I GUESS DR. DOBSON WAS WRONG.“ No, Dr. Dobson wasn’t wrong. Remember every child is different and every mother is different. This is the beauty of the fact that, “ WE ARE FEARFULLY AND WONDERFULLY MADE,” from Psalms. Mom, “IF AT FIRST YOU DON’T SUCCEED, TRY, TRY, AGAIN.” Have the same rules for each child every time. BE CONSISTENT. Try the plan for a few days, and if no Victory is in sight, research a new plan. This will result in perseverance, a wonderful character trait that a mom can’t live without. Seek and you will find the answer. After being a studier of God’s Word for over 30 years, I am convinced, that there is an answer to every problem in the Word of God. We just have to dig deep enough and search hard enough, and pray fervently enough.
Sometimes our answer comes to us from another person., that would be, “GOD WITH SKIN ON.” Oh how I thank God for the Body of Christ. When I was raising my children, I always had an Older Woman, as described in the Book of Titus. A woman, older and wiser than I, who had walked the path before me that I was now trodding. I think every young mother should actively seek out such a woman who can mentor them along the path and help them through the hard spots. These woman are not only a wealth of knowledge, but an ear to listen to you and even sometimes a shoulder to cry on. Isn’t that why God in His wisdom suggests that the older woman should teach the younger woman. Read Titus.
It is my personal belief that Mary went to visit Elizabeth, (found in LUKE) not only to serve her, but also to sit at her feet and learn from her some motherhood skills. Mary was a young girl, Elizabeth an older woman. Elizabeth had probably nurtured, many children before. This is just my personal opinion. You will not find it in the Scriptures, but doesn’t it make sense to you? Otherwise, why would a newly pregnant, probably very nauseated young girl, like Mary make a long trip on a donkey of all things, to serve her on in years, cousin. We do know that Mary had a good heart, but I suggest that she had a seeking heart as well. The Book of Proverbs says, “A WISE MAN LISTENS TO THE COUNSEL OF MANY.” There was no one wiser than The Blessed Mother.
So mom read all you can, then formulate a plan, seek the advice of an older woman and pray a lot. Then be flexible and humble enough to admit when the plan is not working. Then it is back to the drawing board. As the old song goes, THEN PICK YOURSELF UP, DUST YOURSELF OFF AND START ALL OVER AGAIN. I told you that you won’t know all the answers. I guess you could say that MOTHERHOOD IS GOD’S WAY OF KEEPING US HUMBLE. It can baffle at times even the wisest of us. I told the Pre Cana Class, that my husband and I teach, “ IF YOU WANT TO KEEP YOUR MARRIAGE FROM BEING BORING, HAVE A HOUSEFUL OF CHILDREN,” Yes, mom, If Your Quiver Is Full, Your Life Will Never Be Dull. You can Quote me on that, because I live it.
So mom what do you think? Are you a planner? E -Mail Ellen.

www.momsbestwisdom.com

I is for Ingenuity

2008-10-28T16:08:00.000-07:00

Dear Moms,

The next key word for the letter, “I” of discipline is INGENUITY. They say “ NECESSITY IS THE MOTHER OF INVENTION.” Never is a mother in more need, than in the area of daily wisdom for discipline. A mother needs to be on her toes, think on her feet, and be creative. This is a must. She must do all she can to keep her eye on the goal of raising these children to be strong Christians and well adjusted human beings. If her focus is not on that goal, discipline can become tedious and a chore, rather than a necessary training,which if done right will provide good fruit and growth in character. We all know how long it takes us to grow in character; this truth alone should give us the patience needed to patiently train our offspring. After all, our Father God is ever so patient with us. Scripture says, “BEAR WITH ONE ANOTHER PATIENTLY.” I think God was thinking of moms when He said that. Remember mom it does not say BE A BEAR. Although too many sleepless nights with a newborn, makes you feel like that some days, especially when facing your toddler who decided that her favorite word for the week is going to be NO. That just brings out the Bear in all of us; nonetheless, patience is the rule.

As I said earlier in the week, there is more than one way to discipline a child. This gives us moms a chance to use the creative side of the brain. A good rule of thumb is try to make the punishment fit the crime. For example, if they spill their drink on purpose, because accidents happen, let them wipe it up, providing them with a cloth. You can kindly say, We drink our drinks. We don’t spill our drinks.” If they snatch a toy, you might kindly say, “Sean had that toy first, let’s return it.’ Then encourage them to give the toy back to their friend. You might add, we will set the timer and when the buzzer rings, it will be your turn to play with the toy. If a teenager is late for curfew he could be grounded. In my home if a child did not start his chores, I would set the timer and when it would buzz, I would promptly assign them an additional chore, always with a smile and a kind explanation. It sure beat yelling.

I already shared how and when we would spank in our home. See danger, disobedience and disrespect. There is also time out as a discipline for young children. Time out should be age appropriate. I would not start time out until they are almost two. Then I use, the rule, two minutes for two year olds, three minute for three year old and so on until five year olds. I would place them in a time out chair in the same room with me. I would never use the words bad boy or even bad chair, because that is name calling. We want to build our children up and not tear them down. I would kindly say, “You need time to cool down,” that is if they were angry. Or , “You need time to think about what you just did,” if they were mean to a friend. Or even, my personal favorite, “You need time to pray to Jesus to change your attitude.” I personally feel that once they are five, it is safe to put then in their room, because sometime removing them from the situation in a tangible way has a quick way of bringing results. In other words, they miss the fun and are anxious to get back to where all the people are.

Discipline as we said in a previous blog, is used to change a behavior. If the behavior is not changing it should become evident to you mom, that that form of discipline is not working. Another way of changing behavior is using the positive, rather than the negative. Think Rewards, Think accomplishment Charts, Think Praise. I tell mothers that when, if at all possible, encourage the positive behavior and ignore the negative behavior. For example if you make an issue out of eating, most likely your toddler will use not eating as a power play. If you scream every time they smash the cookies in the rug , this will become a behavior they do often, daily if possible, especially if your “cookie smasher” is two. Try instead to PRAISE, PRAISE, PRAISE good behavior then Praise some more. I promise you results will come quickly. A positive parent will say often throughout the day, “I’M SO PROUD OF YOU!” Or “I LIKE THE WAY YOU ARE SHARING WITH YOUR FRIEND!” Or, “I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!” This works with all ages, especially teenager. I am a positive parent. Do you know what my teenage boy says to me? He says, “MOM, YOU KNOW WHY I DON’T LIKE YOU?” “WHY,”I kindly respond. “BECAUSE, YOU ARE TOO NICE. IF YOU WERE JUST NICE SOME OF THE TIME, THEN IT WOULD BE SPECIAL, BUT YOU ARE NICE ALL THE TIME.” Yes, teenagers are like two year olds. If that is the only thing your child doesn’t like about you, mom, I’d say that is a job well done. Positive Parenting will never fail and the good news is they outgrow most of the behavior problems.

Lastly, don’t forget to pray. Ask God for an Ingenious way to handle a particular problem that has you stumped. Our God is a personal God who knows you and knows your child. Also pray with your child to over come a behavior problem. It will give you both Hope.

What do you think? E-mail Ellen (momsbestwisdom at yahoo dot com)

www@momsbestwisdom.com

C is for Control

2008-10-21T06:48:00.000-07:00

Dear Moms,

The next key word is control, as in self control. Self control is a fruit of the Spirit. Never is this fruit more needed than when a person becomes a mother. You will use that fruit daily, I will promise you. I remember the day the Lord began to teach me the fruit of self control, like it was only yesterday. I was in the produce department of our Publix’s Grocery Store. Out of the blue, the Holy Spirit quickened to me, “I’m going to give you the fruit of Self Control.” I was ecstatic; it was a fruit that I needed desperately because I had so little of it. Then the Holy Spirit continued, in his still small voice.” You don’t understand, I’m going to give you the fruit of self control, like I gave you the fruit of Patience. You have to choose it. I will give you many opportunities to do this.” Then I remembered, the gifts of the Spirit are just that, free gifts. The fruits of the Spirit, on the other hand, God has to grow in you as you cooperate with Him and make right choices. Once this fruit is established in your heart, it will help you in all areas of your life.

Now back to self control in discipline. Discipline is lovingly guiding our child in the way of the Lord. We must never respond in anger and lash out at our children. Discipline is not name calling or shouting at your child. Discipline is not beating your child. Discipline is not slapping your child across the face. This is abuse. You must never hurt your child physically, with the exception of a spanking done in the way I explained under disobedience. Remember, never spank in anger. You must never verbally abuse your child. This will wound their spirit. Do you see why the fruit of Self Control is so important to a mother?

If your child does something that causes you to get angry, especially out of control anger, you may need to call a TIME-OUT for yourself. It will give you time to collect your thoughts, get yourself together, and then, handle the discipline situation controlled and calm. This is where self control comes in. You will be tempted to just react. My advice to you is, avoid the temptation and use your self control. Yes, control yourself, because that is self control in action. You’ll be glad you did.

Children are like wet sponges, it has been said. They will soak up everything that is said to them. This will form their self image. Words said in anger can affect them the rest of their lives. Words once said, cannot be taken back. In the same way discipline wrongly administered cannot be erased. So, what is a mother to do? We are human and we all make mistakes. If we lose our temper, we must be humble enough to ask our child’s forgiveness. Then we should pray to God to heal the hurt. This will teach your child that discipline is a loving part of parenting. It will also teach your child how to mend a relationship if they lose their temper.

Remembe,r Mom, your children are watching you. They will do what you. Yes, they are copy cats. They will copy your bad behavior, as well as your good behavior. Pray to God to learn the fruit of SELF CONTROL, so you can pass it on. Be patient with yourself; it will take time. Start today. Vow to be a mature parent who can discipline your child with full control over your flesh. As John the Baptist said about Christ, Jesus, Our Lord, “We must decrease and He must increase.” Then Jesus, himself said, “We must deny our very self and take up our cross and follow me.”

The Passion of Jesus is the ultimate lesson of Self Control. We must be imitators of Christ.

Mom, how do you cope with your anger? How do you practice Self Control?

As always,

Ellen

www.momsbestwisdom.com

S is for Sincerity

2008-10-17T12:03:00.000-07:00

Dear Moms,

Have you ever played Poker? Picture your expression when the you are dealt FOUR ACES, right off the bat. Do you smile and spill the beans to the whole poker table? Not a chance!!! What do you do? You use your Poker Face, Mom. A POKER FACE that doesn’t even give a clue of what is behind those cards you are holding…Then you casually BID BIG. That same POKER FACE that you use in that well-loved card game, believe it or not, also comes in handy in disciplining your children. Why? Because Children can be so cute when they are naughty. Let me clarify that, young children. There is nothing funny about a disrespectful, disobedient teenager. I always say that you can’t spoil a child with Love, but you must always train a child with love, as well. You don’t want to raise a SPOILED BRAT. By the time you have a teenager, they should be trained in Godly principles. Teenagers will rebel to some extent, just like a two year old will have Temper Tantrums, but there should be a certain respect there, that they know they can only go so far. Now back to the Poker Face, this is just what you use when your child has done something so funny, yet nonetheless, against the rules of the home. You have no choice but to follow thorugh with the consequences that are given for that wrong action. As a mom, you must look the child right in the eye, yes eye ball to eye ball, and correct them in love. Mom, if you want them to change their behavior, don’t laugh, smile, or give in when you are disciplining. Poker Face your way through it, and don’t let on that you feel they are too cute to punish.

Be Sincere...SINCERE IS OUR NEXT KEY WORD.. MOM, if you say it, you mean it! As scripture says, “ LET YOUR YES BE YES, AND LET YOUR NO BE NO.” Be Firm and, “STICK TO YOUR GUNS.” When I was raising my seven, a very common thing I would say to my pre-schooler or toddler was, “I’m the MOM!” What would they say back? I know you want to know, Mom. They would say back to me in the most grown up voice that they could muster up, “NO, I’M THE MOM.” To which I would say, “ WHO’S IN CHARGE?” They would answer, “I’M IN CHARGE.” They actually thought that they were in charge. They were under five. This is great mom because it gives you the opportunity to let them know who is in charge. Who’s the BOSS?? Mom, Is It Them Or Is It You? The sooner this is established, the more peaceful your parenting experience will be. The later this is established, the HARDER your parenting experience will be. This is your choice, Mom, YOU ARE IN THE DRIVER’S SEAT. Don’t give your keys to the car to your child at too young an age or they will be running you over. In other words, IT IS YOUR HOUSE AND YOUR RULES. This should be understood at two and at teenage years too. YOU’RE THE MOM!!! Parent the child with SINCERITY. Things will go better if you do.

It is much better to have, FEWER RULES AND MUCH MORE CONSISTENCY. If you say it, you mean it or they will get your number very, very quickly, even if they are only ONE YEAR OLD. So mom don’t make Rules for most days when, you are too tired, too sick, or too busy to follow through. IF YOU SAY IT, MOM, YOU MEAN IT!!! Don’ t make rules that you won’t follow through with if they are just too cute. IF YOU SAY IT MOM, YOU MEAN IT. Whatever you do, don’t make a rule that you let them talk you out of, that is just what we Moms call manipulation. . SO WHAT IS A MOTHER TO DO? If you are sick or extra tired or too busy, get extra help to come in, like a friend or relative. If this is not possible, farm the children out or pay someone to watch them. If all else fails, be creative, limit their space, so you can lie on the couch and still keep a good eye on them. Have a special emergency basket of special things to do that are new and different, that you pull out on just these occasions. New and different are the recipe for success here. This will always hold their attention for a longer period of time, than old and familiar. Here’s some Ideas:
1. Stickers or foam stickers
2. New crayons and coloring books
3. Indoor bubbles
4. Play dough and new play dough toys
5. Water Paint or New books to paint that don’t require paint, just water
6. New Books to read together
7. A New Quiet Toy

I just heard a great talk by a father of six children. The main point was SIMPLIFY. He used the words CRAZY BUSY. Our children should rank among the most important things in our lives, next to God and our husbands, of course. Mom, we never should be too CRAZY BUSY to care for them well and to take the time to train them properly. Take an honest look at your life. Where is your time being spent? What are some things you can eliminate so that your children can spend quality time with you?

Mom, to conclude, “SAY WHAT YOU MEAN, AND MEAN WHAT YOU SAY.” Be Sincere. Being a person of your word teaches your child, not only to obey you, but also to trust you. It will also, when given the test of time, teach your child to respect you. Children need limits. They find safety and security in limits. Be Proud, Mom, if you are the mother, who your child says to a friend once you have given a direction, “MY MOM MEANS WHAT SHE SAYS.” It is then that you know in your heart that you have done your job well.

What Do you think, Mom? E-Mail Ellen. I’d Love to hear from you.

www.momsbestwisdom.com

I is for Intelligent Decisions

2008-10-07T18:47:00.000-07:00

Dear Moms,

The next key-word is Intelligent Decisions for the letter I of Discipline. As moms, we need to make intelligent decisions daily, sometimes hourly. Motherhood is an on-the-job training career. Why? Because every child is different and every situation is different. Let’s face it, mom, every day is different. They say, “VARIETY IS THE SPICE OF LIFE.” Children have a way of making that cliché a reality in your life. So what’s a mother to do to have the wisdom of Solomon and the heart of the Blessed Mother, Mary?

READ, READ, READ, and learn all you can from the experts about discipline. There are some fabulous Christian authors out there. Here are a few:
1. Dr. James Dobson
2. Dr. Gary Smalley
3.Dr. John Trent
4.Dr. Kevin Leman

Anything written by these four authors, I can highly recommend. I’m sure you have some favorites as well. Let me know your favorites! Read when you are pregnant because it is never too early. Read as you nurse your newborn baby. Mom, never stop reading. As you read, you will begin to form your own philosophy of motherhood, taking a little bit of wisdom from each person. It is very important that you become the unique mom that God created you to be. In fact, all moms should be different because all children are different. When a problem arises, research the issue from a variety of sources, and then decide how you will handle the situation. Think before you act. Use your brain.

Scripture says in Proverbs, “A WISE MAN SEEKS THE COUNSEL OF MANY.” I know that this applies to women as well. So, talk to your spouse first. Make sure you are in unity on every discipline decision. Remember scripture says, “A HOUSE DIVIDEDED AGAINST ITSELF WILL FALL.” Also, talk to other mothers, and talk to your mom. If at all possible, have a spiritual mom as well, to sit at their feet and learn the skills. The happiest and most successful moms are those who are surrounded by a network of caring woman. Of course, all of this should be run by your husband no matter how brilliant it sounds. God has entrusted these children into both of your care. Part of making intelligent decisions is making them together. So, think before you act and learn all you can. Learning the proper parenting skills will help you in many facets of life

The Bible is also an excellent resource for learning how to discipline your child, especially the book of Proverbs. It is amazing how God can direct you to just the right passage, which will give you just the right answer for a daily dilemma that you are facing in disciplining a particular child. It is the LIVING WORD and we have a Personal Savior, that’s why.

God taught me a long time ago that you can’t just pray and do nothing. You also can’t just take matters into your own hands either. In almost every area of life, PRAYER PLUS EFFORT= VICTORY IN JESUS. Let me repeat that. PRAYER PLUS EFFORT= VICTORY IN JESUS. That is tried and true. So, pray as if it all depends on God and act as if it all depends on you. Seek until you find the answer. YOU CAN DO ALL THINGS THROUGH CHRIST WHO STRENGHTENS YOU.

The vocation of Motherhood gives you the opportunity to grow in so many areas. Use all your resources, Books, Wise Counsel, Scripture Study, and Prayer. Then, make an Intelligent Decision.

Do you have a discipline problem that has you stumped? Ask Ellen--I don’t have all the answers, but I may have an answer for your particular problem. E-mail me at www.momsbestwisdom.com.

D is for Danger, Disobedience, and Disrespect

2008-10-06T16:47:00.001-07:00

Dear Moms,

For the letter D, the key words are Danger, Disobedience and Disrespect. That’s three words, isn’t it? Three important words, I might add. That is because in our home we only discipline for DANGER, DISOBEDIENCE, AND DISRESPECT. Our rules are clear and few, this avoids confusion for the parent as well as the child. If the rules are obeyed, all live in peace and harmony. If the rules are broken, discipline is administered quickly and as an act of love. This is to encourage the behavior to change in a child, not to hurt the child or wound their spirit. We try to make LOVE OUR AIM, as scripture states.

First off, before I begin, this applies to toddlers and above (a two year old toddler and up).
We never, ever discipline a newborn baby, Mom. A newborn baby needs to be cared for and loved. If you get frustrated with a newborn, guess who needs to be disciplined? YOU DO!!!!!!!!! You need to call a Time Out for yourself and call someone over to watch the baby. At the age of one and up, once a baby is mobile, they should be disciplined by slapping their hand, only if doing something dangerous, like running towards the street. This shall be done swiftly, more as a shock to them, and not to hurt them. The house should be baby-proofed in such a way that very little discipline is needed. Plus your baby should be carefully watched so that very little danger exists. Mom, they are babies; they don’t know what is dangerous. They are exploring the world around them. Healthy and normal babies are curious. That is a good thing.

Once the child begins to enter the toddler stage, they begin to test limits. That is their limits and your patience that they are testing. Any mother of a toddler will agree, this is a trying time. Yes, age two is the time to train a child, not only potty train them, but also train them to get under your authority and obey you. If your child is doing something dangerous, this requires an immediate response, without a warning. A quick swat on the bottom or a slapping of their hand works. This would include such things as, touching electric outlets, going in the street, putting their head in the toilet or wrapping the mini blind cord around their neck. I have had my toddlers try all these things. I learned to always be in the same room as them at all times. I also learned that this too shall pass. On my last child, I think he was ten years old before I stopped saying, ”WHERE’S SEAN? If he wasn’t with in my view, I knew that he was up to something.

That brings us to disobedience. Once you have established the rules and they disobey them, they need to be disciplined. You must go over your rules daily for toddlers so they are clearly understood. Toddlers easily forget. I always give a warning, but only one warning, never two. When I was a young mother I read a pamphlet on discipline, and I formed my view of spanking, on the wisdom I gained from that flyer. Before reading the pamphlet, I was totally against spanking, but spanking done in this fashion, I see as a total act of love. I would love to locate that pamphlet again and give it to every mother in the world, but I’ve sinced misplaced it. This is what I gleaned from that little pamphlet: If disobedience occurs, I peacefully take the child in another room. I talk to them about what happened and make sure that they understand what they did wrong. Then, I lie them across my lap and spank them three times with a small wooden paddle, or wooden spoon, just enough to be uncomfortable, not to hurt or abuse. Then I hug the child and make them ask my forgiveness for disobeying. Lastly, we pray to Jesus to first of all forgive them, and secondly help them to not do this behavior again. If they injured another child, they must then go and ask that child’s forgiveness. The whole process of disciplining that child for a wrongdoing takes at least fifteen minutes. It is not taken lightly by me or by the child; it is done in love and never rushed or done in anger. This is discipline administered properly. It is very important that the child knows that you love him even when you have to discipline him. Even God disciplines those he loves. Don’t expect more out of your child than is age appropriate. Saying, “I WILL SPANK YOU IF YOU DO NOT CLEAN YOUR ROOM,” to a three year old is overwhelming. No, it is impossible. There are more ways to discipline than just spanking. We will talk about that in a different key word.

As I stated yesterday, children need to be taught to respect authority. You and your spouse are the authority in your home. Disrespect is not tolerated in our home. As they test your authority, rules and discipline have to be set in place. This is especially true with teenagers. A good discipline is to say, “Go to your room and think about the way you have spoken to me, OR CHANGE YOUR ADDITUDE OR YOU WILL LOSE THE USE OF THE CAR!” Fathers must protect mothers in this area by teaching the children to respect their mothers .

DO you dare to discipline? Do you see discipline as an act of love or a pain in the neck? Take this to prayer. This is a very important tool in motherhood. It is the difference between raising a child to be a blessing to you and others or a burden. I say DARE TO DISCIPLINE--and give your child the training they need to be people of character to make a difference in this world. That’s all for ELLEN.

www.momsbestwisdom.com

Discipline

2008-10-02T06:28:00.000-07:00

Dear Moms,

I love having a daily blog. I never in a million years would have ever dreamed that I would be able to, first, learn computer, and second, actually like Blogging. When I began my website, www.momsbestwisdom.com, my daughter, Tarolyn, told me I had to Blog everyday. For one thing, that seemed overwhelming, and for another thing, I did not actually know what a Blog was, I must admit. It’ s been a whole year since my website became a reality, and look who is Blogging every day almost. That has to be a miracle of God, and if you knew me, like my friends and family do, you would agree. Yes, for the first few weeks I was convinced that they forgot to put a Q on the keyboard. Then, no lie, I just found the !!!! (Exclamation Mark). I learned that, "YOU CAN TEACH AN OLD DOG NEW TRICKS.” I also learned that you get out of something what you put into something. Lastly, that learning computer is a discipline. That’s right; it is a discipline, a training, a trail and error, a learned process.

A young mom I was talking to the other day was asking me a question about disciplining her child. I gave her my card for momsbestwisdom and promised her I would use the topic of discipline on my website. It’s a great subject and I hope I can give a little wisdom on discipline this week.

God came into the world to save sinners---THAT’S US. Yes, all people are born with a sinful nature. That is because Adam and Eve chose to sin. Remember, they disobeyed God in the garden. Our children, as precious as they are, and as cute as they can be, are born rebellious and disobedient. We have to train them to do what is right, and to follow Jesus. In a way they are our disciples. If we train them well, we are cooperating with God to win them to Jesus. That is our goal as parents, to see our children come to know the Lord. God made us to know Him, to love Him, and to be happy with Him in heaven. That’s why he made our children as well. These offspring, that we call our flesh and blood, are just on loan to us from our Heavenly Father. They are really his children, not ours. Never was that more evident than when our baby Zachary, full-term was called home to Jesus, at only two hours old. A friend remarked, “Our goal as parents is to lead our children to heaven and you know for sure one of your children is there with Jesus.” What a comfort those words would become. What a reminder that these blessings are on loan to us from God.

Discipline is an ongoing process in life. It is a never ending process, which you never outgrow. There are certain rules and laws we must obey in our society, LAWS OF THE LAND. For example, there are speed limits, and if you do not obey the rules, you get a ticket. There are laws of the Church. If you do not obey them, things don’t go well for you. There are even laws that rule a marriage. If we obey the laws, we live in harmony with our world. If we do not obey the laws, there are consequences. Having rules gives us peace. Just as we have a certain respect for authority, like police, disciplining our children will teach them respect for authority. Mom, you and your husband are the authority in their lives. They must learn to obey you and come under your authority. This is essential if they are going to become responsible, well-adjusted members of society.

God’s Word says, “DISCIPLINE YOURSELF UNTO GODLINESS.” Maturity comes by learning skills at an appropriate time. Immaturity comes by learning the skill later or not at all. Our children are, in a way, our first disciples, so teach them well. Remember, you can teach an old dog new tricks, but wouldn’t it be better to teach a new dog old tricks? The godly wisdom you have, mom, you are called by God to impart to your children. We want our children to not make the same mistakes we made, and to not have to learn the hard way. So, teach your children, train your children, discipline your children and the fruit will be good.

When I was a young mother, I was getting frustrated about saying the same thing over and over again to one particular child. I must have been complaining to the Lord because God spoke to me loud and clear, in His still small voice. I almost had to look over my shoulder to see if He was visible in the room because I was that aware of His presence. HE said, “IF THEY WERE ALREADY TRAINED, I WOULDN’T HAVE ASKED YOU TO TRAIN THEM.” The scripture immediately raced through my mind from Proverbs, “TRAIN UP YOUR CHILD IN THE WAY OF THE LORD, AND WHEN HE GETS OLD, HE WLL NOT DEPART FROM IT.” What a PROMISE!!!!!! I don’t think I ever complained again, at least not in that area. God had cured me. GOD’S PROMISE WAS WORTH THE EFFORT TO ME. Is it worth the effort to you, mom?

This week and next, I will take the letters of the word D-I-S-C-I-P-L-I-N-E and give you a key word to remember in this area. So, don’t forget to check the website. I guess I should close because I am disciplining myself to exercise an hour a day, and I need to be faithful.

As always,
ELLEN

A Moment of Grace

2008-09-29T06:19:00.000-07:00

Dear Moms,

It seems like an eternity since I have written my Blog, but actually we all know that an eternity is forever and ever, so I guess it has not been that long. I have a great excuse, however. You might say I was witnessing a MIRACLE, and yes, it was a moment of GRACE. On September, 9th, 2008, my husband, Patrick, and I took the RED-EYE to Louisville, Kentucky. No not the Midnight Flight, although both our eyes were extremely red. No, we drove our car, leaving at 11:00 P.M and arriving at 8:00 A.M, not stopping except for essentials like caffeine and food, of course, and gas. Thank God it was before the gas shortage. Why did we venture out on such a Crazy Road-Trip in the middle of my “Beauty Sleep,” you may ask? It was to witness the MIRACLE and to walk in the MOMENT OF GRACE, REMEMBER?
My fourth child, Amanda Joy , was birthing our sixth grandchild, and we would not have missed it for the world.. That was the good news. The bad news was that Amanda was barely 33 weeks pregnant. Yes, Baby Lauren Grace could not wait to get here. I immediately put them on a prayer chain, before even leaving town. I was at total peace, knowing that they were in God’s Everlasting Arms. Once in the hospital, we got the update from Amanda’s husband, Kyle. They were stalling the labor, even though her water bag had already broken and had given Amanda a shot to help the baby’s lungs to develop. Kyle and Patrick, both Physicians, did not appear at all worried, which kept Amanda and I calm as well. It seemed like an eternity waiting the 48 hours before Amanda could begin labor, but we already have established how long an eternity really is, haven’t we. Picture this: a very tired, hungry 33-week pregnant woman, who had not had anything but ice chips for 48 hours. Now, picture this: A woman about to give birth who hasn’t eaten and has barely slept for 48 hours and is at total peace and is walking or rather lying in a hospital bed with the JOY OF THE LORD. That’s our Amanda Joy Grace. She didn’t once complain or feel sorry for herself. Kyle was a witness of God’s love remaining devotedly at her side at all times and meeting her needs before she even had to ask.

On September 12, at 1:24 P.M. Lauren Grace Young, The Miracle Baby , came into this world, weighing just 4lbs and 1 oz. She came out screaming and even got a 8 and 9 on her agar scores, great by the way for a preemie. After a few quick pictures and a little bonding with her mom, Lauren Grace was whisked away for some special care in th nursery.

Amanda spent one night in the hospital after the birth and headed home since she had a one year old named Elle, who had never spent the night away from her, and was waiting anxiously for her return. My husband, Patrick, had already left for home, but I was reporting for Nana and Mama duty for two full weeks. I must admit, it wasn’t an easy two weeks, but it was grace filled. God proved to us all, “MY GRACE IS SUFFICIENT. MY POWER WORKS BEST IN YOUR WEAKNESS,” and “ I CAN DO ALL THINGS THRU CHRIST WHO STRENGTHRENS ME.” Those two weeks we lived those two scriptures daily and sometimes hourly. Amanda, again being a trooper, drove the 20 minute ride to the hospital to nurse baby Lauren, several times a day. When she was not nursing, she was pumping with an electric pump on loan from the hospital. Dedicated mom that Amanda is, even pumped in the middle of the night, then set the alarm so she could get to the hospital in time for the 7:00 A.M. feeding. She wanted to make sure that her baby not only nursed well, but also bonded well. Kyle, giving 100% himself, made sure that he accompanied Amanda to the hospital as much as he could, also wanting to bond well with Lauren and support his wife with unconditional love. He juggled this in the midst of working full time and often coming off a 24 hour call duty. I guess you could say no one was getting a lot of sleep, except Nana. I was exhausted. I don’t know what was wearing me out more, watching a very active almost-two-year-old or doing all that I was doing to support the family while having a fever. I was so sick the first week, that to be honest, I have no recollection of the first week at their home at all. I do know that all the wash got done, meals were on the table on time, there was order in the home; it was neat and tidy and there was one happy well-adjusted almost-two-year-old who didn’t skip a beat. God’s Grace Was Sufficient.

A few days ago, September 26, 2008, just a little over two weeks from Lauren Grace’s Birthday, she left the “Baby Hotel,” as her father calls it, and was escorted by her entire family, her mother Amanda, her father Kyle, and her Big Sister Elle, to the place they all call home. It is a day of rejoicing.

I wanted to add this to my blog today to first of all honor and thank the Lord for His grace and, secondly, to give a real life example of a mom who is, ”BEING THE BEST SHE CAN BE.” One thing Amanda said during this trial that I’ll never forget is, “ MOM, YOU CAN”T CHANGE YOUR CIRCUMSTANCES. ALL YOU CAN CHANGE IS HOW YOU ARE GOING TO DEAL WITH THEM.” That’s our Amanda Joy Grace, who lives a grace-filled life, always full of the joy of the Lord. I guess she was named for the virtue she possesses.

Mom, how do you cope when life’s circumstances don’t go your way?

Email me,
Ellen.

Wrapping Up Traditions

2008-09-29T05:12:00.000-07:00

Dear Moms,

As you see Traditions are a lot of fun and a lot of work, but the joy received by the children outweighs any inconvenience. So, get started; let the memories begin and thank God that we have our memories in tact. In this world, people don’t seem to have time to just waste time with one another. In my book, the most important thing you can give your children is your time. So mom, don’t busy yourself too much that you don’t have the time to build family. Family traditions are a way to begin.

Before I close the chapter on Family Traditions, I want to include some random traditions we do at our home:
1.Half Birthdays---This tradition began when my Amanda and I read a book about half birthdays. After finishing the book, I realized that Amanda’s half birthday was that very week. We surprised her with a half birthday party. We made half a cake, gave her half the presents and sang, “HAPPY HALF BIRTHDAY TO YOU!” It was so much fun that we made it a family tradition. I must admit it was a big effort to throw seven birthday parties as well as seven half birthday parties, but it was a tradition that was treasured and loved by all.
2.The Special Plate--We purchased a red plate at the store called THE SPECIAL PLATE. Given that name because those words were written right on the plate. We would honor the children by letting them eat off their Special Plate on birthdays, or special accomplishments, like all A’s, getting a soccer goal or even making captain of the cheerleader squad. They were thrilled with the Special Plate and would ask for it by name, if I were to forget. We finally invested in two Special Plates, so that two children could be honored on the same day.
3.Banners--This was a very popular tradition. We made banners for welcoming home people, father’s day, mothers’ day and even birthdays. In fact, the children did so enjoy banners, that we made them for everything.
4.Lighting the candle--Every morning all children under school age would light a candle with me to start the day and give our day to God. We would then all sing, “THIS IS THE DAY,” together and the toddler would blow out the candle. It was a highlight of the day for us all.
5.The Blessing Cup--The Blessing Cup was shaped like a chalice and was made out of pottery. It was actually called the Blessing Cup and came with a book of prayers. You probably can Google it to find one to purchase. We used the Blessing Cup on all birthdays and on every holiday. On birthdays, we would toast the birthday person with a kind word or two, then take a sip of wine that we had poured in the cup beforehand. On holidays, we would toast the Lord then take a sip of wine. The Blessing Cup would go all around the table with each person taking a turn.
6.Family Dinners-- Sunday is family dinner and all are encouraged to come. It is a time of reconnecting, loving and keeping in touch before the busy week starts. We all look forward to it.

Mom, “A WISE WOMAN BUILDS HER HOME.” You are the heart of the home, so fill your heart with ways to make every day special, whether it be baking Christmas cookies together or celebrating half-birthdays together. There are so many traditions to implement. Read, read, read, read, because there is a wealth of knowledge in this area.
Some of the best books I can suggest are:
1.LET’S MAKE A MEMORY by Gloria Gaither and Shirley Dobson
2 A MOTHER’SMANUAL FOR SUMMER SURVIVAL by Kathy Peel and Joy Mahaffey
3.A MOTHER’S MANUAL FOR HOLIDAY SURVIVAL by Kathy Peel and Judy Byrd
4.A MOTHER’S MANUAL FOR SCHOOL SURVIVAL by Kathy Peel and Joy Mahaffey
These are all good resources for your hunt to find those traditions that suit your family and your personality.

Traditions, as I said, make a house a home, and even adult children will join in the fun, as they remember this tradition played out in years past. Hopefully, it will have been a good memory. If you have established the memory in your home in the Spirit of Christ with lots of love, an abundance of joy and a bucket full of grace and added to that total peace, then your adult children will pass these traditions on to your grandchildren. One day, your grandchildren will pass these traditions on to your great grandchildren, and so on. So pass it on; make a memory today--start a new tradition--build family--build it strong. “A Proverbs 31 Woman looks well to the ways of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.”
That’s all for this topic; I think I have exhausted it. I bet I have exhausted a lot of my readers as well. Don’t get overwhelmed. Do as Jesus said, “TAKE ONE DAY AT A TIME.”

As always,
ELLEN

Autumn Traditions

2008-09-28T16:03:00.000-07:00

Dear Moms,

Autumn is a time of change. The weather is changing to those crisp Fall days, that make us grab a coat and shout “HOORAY.” Ok, maybe only if you live in Georgia, the other “SUNHINE STATE,” with an over abundance of hot, Summer humidity. The leaves are changing and falling to the ground, making it the best backdrop for lots of Autumn pictures of the memories you are going to make when you begin these Autumn Traditions. So, let's Brainstorm and Share Ideas.

The first Autumn Tradition that always went on at the Mongan Household, involved the first day of school. I would call all the children into the Great Room, line them up in size order against the wall, or was it age order--bear with me, it’s been a long time--and take a Kodak moment. That was way before Digital Pictures. This was a yearly event dreaded by teenagers, but it brought smiles to the face of my Kindergarteners. No matter how late we were running for carpool, we always had time to pose and Make a First Day of School Portrait. My only regret, was that, if I were to do it over again, I would have bought a collage picture frame and had each year pictured in it. Now these pictures are lost in the archives of millions of old-fashioned photo albums. Talk about hunting down a dinosaur! Why, it would be like looking for a needle in the haystack!

What Tradition did we have when the first day of school ended? You may have heard my children shout, “I SCREAM, YOU SCREAM, WE ALL SCREAM FOR ICE CREAM,” as they walked out the school door. Yes, they were excited, because it was the family tradition to go out for ice cream after the first day of school. We would go to Baskin Robbins or Dairy Queen for our favorite Cool Treat. The excited children would then talk, yes, all at the same time, sharing about their first day of school. I wouldn’t have missed it for the world. It wasn’t only the ice cream that said, “I LOVE YOU;” it was taking the time to listen and be family together. It was something they could count on happening year after year. It was T-R-A-D-I-T-I-O-N.
October would bring a controversial Holiday called to the World, Halloween. In the Christian circles that we fellowshipped with, we all opted to celebrate All Saints Day instead. It was a beautiful way to honor our Lord Jesus, and those Saints, who have gone before us who served Him with their whole heart, their whole soul, their whole mind and their whole strength. Some Saints had even chose martyrdom, rather than give up the faith in our savior Jesus Christ. Many feel that Halloween is a pagan holiday, but by having the children dress up as their favorite Saint, it was a way of celebrating this Holiday in a better light. If I had to do it over again I probably would have let my children Trick or Treat, with proper guidance and through knowledge of what we believe. At our All Saints Day Celebration, there were, games, food and even a costume contest, and of course, lots of candy. They were with all their friends, but my children felt that they had missed out on the fun of Trick or Treating. Don’t ask me why? But, if you think about it, St. Francis begged for food, so I guess if you think about it that way. Like I said, it is kind of a mixed bag, if you know what I mean. It is a problem for some Christians and not for others. Remember, we are in the world but not of it? Wasn’t it St. Paul who said, “ BE EVERYTHING TO EVERYONE?’ Do my grandchildren go Trick or Treating? Of course they do, and I can’t wait to see my oldest grandchild, Corbin, age 8, in his Indiana Jones costume. Now if you knock on my door this Halloween Night, I will have lots of candy to give you., and probably a GOD BLESS YOU book mark as well . “ In everything you do , do all as unto the Lord.” That’s what the bible says, and I try to live that and try not to judge others. The Bible goes on to say, “Judge lest you be judged.”
The Last Autumn Tradition involves Thanksgiving. I must say Thanksgiving ranks among one of my favorite Holidays. Why, you may ask? For me, Thanksgiving involves no cooking because my mom cooks the entire Thanksgiving Dinner, even at eighty-two years old. It involves no gift buying, wrapping, giving, except for that of giving Our God a grateful heart. The entire family gets together to just be together and enjoy each other. Our Family Traditions are many on this holy, happy day. We gather at my mom's, and we usually take our family portrait for our annual Christmas Card. Then, we eat appetizers. Before dinner is ready, all the women, and those men brave enough to get a little dirty, make gnocchi’s together. Gnocchi is an Italian pasta. Yes, we have homemade pasta , as well as, Turkey. It‘s Tradition. Of course, we take lots of pictures. Then, we pray as a family and eat, talk, eat some more and talk some more. Lastly, our new tradition is, we play Flag Football, a family favorite, especially for the son-in laws. Lastly, someone usually brings a Thanksgiving craft for the little ones to do. So how do we honor the Lord on this great holiday besides cultivating a thankful heart? It is simple; we live out the second half of the Great Commandment: we love our neighbor as we love our self.

Whether it be the first day of school, or dressing up for Halloween, or a Thanksgiving celebration, Autumn is a season full of Traditions and definitely a time to make memories. What traditions make your Autumns come alive? Please share.

E- Mail ELLEN

Summer Traditions

2008-09-11T06:58:00.000-07:00

Dear Moms,

We are nearing the finish line towards a year of fun-filled, memory-making, Mongan Family Traditions. The last but not least is Summertime Traditions. Summertime has a way of making every mother, jump for joy, while at the same time pulling her hair out one piece at a time. That is at least the moms I know. Wasn’t it Sarah Palin, the Republican running for Vice President that said, “Sometimes it is the joys that bring the challenges.” Never is that more true than when the last school bell is rung, and the last book bag is put away until school starts again the next year. Yes, summertime is a chance to grow as a family in all kinds of character, with a whole lot of characters that we call our offspring. I will write in some other blog posts an entire week on how to keep your “Sanity In the Summertime,” so keep on logging on to momsbestwisdom.com.

I do want to touch on two summer traditions. The first is, you guessed it, mom, the last day of school tradition. Of course, I line everyone up against that same wall in the great room in age order, just like the first day of school. Then I repeat the Kodak moment. This time, I get a smile out of everyone, especially the teenagers. Seniors in High School smile the biggest! Later on in the week, I compare the two photographs, the first day of school with the last day of school. We all see who grew and who didn’t. We see who got teeth and who lost teeth. We even see who got a new hairdo. Then, it is my turn to smile. I remember a year well lived. I remember no more carpools, no more homework to help with, no more book bags to locate, (and I thought finding pacifiers was hard) no more uniforms to launder, and most of all, no more six a.m. wake-up hour. I drive them to school for the last time, thinking to myself, let the summer begin, because I, for one, can’t wait. After school again, as tradition would have it, we all go out for well deserved ice cream to celebrate.

The other tradition that we celebrate as a family is, of course, the 4th of July. This is a special day to me because not only is it our Nation's birthday, and I’m glad to be an American, but also it is my old roommates birthday, Peggy. I’m indebted to Peggy for life because she introduced me to my husband, Patrick, making Peggy and I cousins. I always try to give Peggy a call and catch up. The 4th of July, at our home, is a casual cook-out. It is a day of relaxing and just enjoying each other. Of course we eat, we drink, and we are very merry, but you knew I was going to say that. We decorate the table in red, white and blue and all of us try to wear our patriotic colors as well. Sometimes, we even go to the pool as a family. It is nice to have one day a year to remember our Freedom. Never are we more aware of how much that Freedom cost us, then at a time like now, when our country is at war. I guess you can say, “FREEDOM ISN’T FREE.” I want to publicly thank all those military families who have given up so much in the name of Freedom, especially those who have paid the ultimate sacrifice. “NO GREATER LOVE HAS NO MAN THAN TO LAY DOWN HIS LIFE FOR HIS BROTHER.” We are so proud of you, and we pray for our troops and their families.

I’m going to end on a Word to the Wise. Treasure the moment. It seems like you’ll never get your toddler out of diapers, and before you know it, you are walking your daughter down the aisle. Mom, I’m on my last Senior in High School this year. I had no one to line him up next to on the first day of school. We didn’t take the picture. Mom, take the picture! Make a Memory that will last a lifetime. Put on the song the Star Spangled Banner and march around the house as a family. Make a Memory and let the traditions live and be passed on generation after generation. Do them with all your heart. It’s a way to show your family that you care and that they count and that they are important to you!
AS ALWAYS,
ELLEN

Spring Traditions

2008-09-09T13:12:00.000-07:00

Dear Moms,

We are halfway through the year and look at all the memories we have made, and all the traditions we have begun. Isn’t it amazing how the little things mean so much to those who are so young, or to those of us that are Young At Heart? No wonder God says in his word, “UNLESS YOU HUMBLE YOURSELF LIKE A LITTLE CHILD, YOU WILL NOT ENTER THE KINGDOM OF GOD.” Keep reading, for I think Spring is in the air. Spring not only means, “NEW LIFE,” but “NEW BEGINNING,” as well. I say, “Let’s spring into Spring!"

The first thing we think about in Spring is Easter, and the death of our Savior and Lord Jesus Christ. To prepare for Easter every Lenten season, my children and I used to make a KINDNESS BOX, when they were young. We would take a cardboard shoe box, decorate it, both top and bottom separately. Then we would cut out a hole in the top of the box. Next we would sit down together and write out specific kind deeds on small pieces of paper. Some examples are, visit the sick, cook for a sick friend, hug mom, serve dad, or spend time in prayer. When we came up with forty kind deeds, one for each day of lent, we would fold them and place them in the box. Each day ,one of the children would pick a kind deed out of the box, and we would all do what it said. This kindness box helped us to prepare spiritually as a family, as well as, to build family. It was truly a favorite activity.

Our Easter Traditions are pretty standard. We color eggs, hide the Easter baskets with a jelly bean trail (each child, pre-picks the jellybean colors the night before, so that the Easter Bunny doesn’t get confused), and YES, we buy new Easter Clothes and bonnets as well. You should see us in our Easter Bonnets with all the thrills upon it. I always dressed all four girls alike until, they wouldn’t let me any more. Isn’t it funny, Mom, how when the girls are little, you dress them, then in turn, when they are teens or above, they dress you, or at least pick out your clothes for you to wear? How many times have I heard, “Not that mom, It’s 80’s!” How would I have a CLUE? An 80’s word--by the way, I was pregnant almost all of the 80’s. No, we don’t forget God at Easter. Being Roman Catholic, the traditions are rich and built in our faith. They are called the Easter Triduum. Church services begin Holy Thursday, then two services Good Friday, then Holy Saturday, which involves people becoming members of the Church, and last but not least, they are all leading up to the Easter Mass on Sunday. No matter how big, no matter how small our children were, all were in awe of the three-day Easter celebrations. Of course, the littlest ones fell asleep during the services dreaming of the Easter Bunny, but we wouldn’t miss the three day journey for the world. I’ll never forget the year one priest had us each pound a nail into an old rugged Cross. That was powerful, even for a teenager who came because he was told to come. Church Traditions, when done as a ,will impact the children’s faith more than a parent’s wasted words. YOU WOULDN‘T WANT TO CAST YOUR PEARLS BEFORE SWINE, MOM. Even if the swine have your last name. Easter, of course, as every other holiday at the Mongan Family Household, is celebrated with lots of eating, lots of drinking and lots of being merry. Everyone cooks together, while those with younger children hide candy for the Easter Egg Hunt. It is quite an unforgettable celebration!

Everyone is Irish on St. Patrick’s Day, and this gal, for one, is Happy to be married to a Irish Man. It gives me an excuse to kiss him, not that I need one. This holiday we always celebrate in one way or another. It is usually, dress in green, and you used to be able to say Go Green, that was before environmentalism was in vogue. We all go to Mass as a family. After Mass, in Augusta, Georgia at least, there is a PARADE that goes down the street that our Church is on. How great is that! Everyone loves a Parade, so of course, parade-watching is part of our tradition. We then go home to a feast of CORNED BEEF AND CABBAGE that has been cooking most of the day. What do we do at family dinner? WE EAT, WE DRINK, AND WE BE MERRY, after all it’s in the WORD OF GOD.

That concludes our Spring Traditions. What do you think? It sure makes me hungry. I think I’ll just go and EAT, DRINK, AND BE MERRY.
What are some of your Spring Traditions?
ELLEN
(You can also reach me at momsbestwisdom@yahoo.com)

Winter Traditions

2008-09-07T12:47:00.000-07:00

Dear Moms,

Everyone that knows me, knows that I don’t do winters, yet God, in His goodness, has placed my favorite holiday right in the dead of winter. Yes, right when I need to feel God come alive in my heart more than ever before, we celebrate Christmas, the day Christ was born. Not only does Christ come alive in my heart during the Christmas season, but also in the lives of the whole world, young and old, black and white, believer and pagan alike, join in Christmas Traditions. That was until it was not politically correct to say, as a store clerk, “MERRY CHRISTMAS.” My favorite words, by the way. Yes, Christmas is full of traditions. I’m going to list some of ours, and explain them briefly.

1. I send out 500 Christmas Newsletters to my closest friends, with a family picture. I use it as a evangelistic tool to glorify God with praise and thanksgiving. Yes, it has been called by some, a brag letter, but doesn’t Scripture say, “IF YOU WANT TO BOAST, BOAST ON HE LORD”? I give God all the praise for a year well lived in Him.

2. We save all of our Christmas cards and put them aside in a little basket, or presently a ziplock bag. Each night at dinner, we read one card, talk about the person who sent the card, and pray for the person and their family. The next day, I, in years past, would write a letter to the person and tell them I prayed for them. This year, I decided to call the person and catch up in person.. This tradition has gone on for years and is well loved by all, especially me, who you already know am a forever friend. The favorite part for young children is getting to pick the card that will be read.

3. The Jesus Stocking is also a family favorite. We hang an extra stocking by the chimney with care. In the Stocking, we write a letter to Jesus. We tell Jesus what we are going to do for Him this year and ask Him for a special favor for us this year. We each seal the letter in an envelope with our name plainly written on the front. The next New Years Eve we read the letter and see if God answered our prayer, as well as if we were faithful to our promise to God. Then we write the letter for the next year putting it in the Jesus Stocking.

4. We celebrate Family Christmas on the Saturday after Christmas at our home. There is eating, drinking and being merry, very merry. We have chosen that day of celebration because it gives our children, who have children, a chance to be home on Christmas Eve waiting for Santa Claus, who we wouldn’t want them to miss. It also gives them a chance to spend time with the In-Laws if necessary. It gives us a chance to concentrate on Jesus alone on both Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. One more thing we do on Family Christmas is a ten dollar “WHITE ELEPHANT GRAB BAG EXCHANGE.” It’s a lot of fun as well as humorous.

5. Some years we read Luke 2 at the family diner table, the Nativity Story.

6. I almost forgot; of course, we bake cookies as a family. All the girls and I try recipes new as well as old. Lastly, I make baklava. It’s tradition.

Out with the old, and in with the new--yes, New Year's Eve is the next winter holiday. On New Year's Eve, our family has had the same tradition for as long as I can remember. It’s simple as well as loved by all. We order in Chinese food, rent DVD’s, and eat in front of the television on a big spread-out sheet, picnic style. After diner we consume, a humongous amount of candy, which we don’t need. We spend the evening just being together. My adult children began this tradition with their little ones, and asked, “Mom why do we do this tradition?” My answer was simple, "Dad and I could never get a babysitter on New Year's Eve, and we rarely got to eat out as a family, and everyone loves Chinese. This tradition covered all the bases!"

The last winter holiday that we celebrate is Valentine's Day. Since I am a firm believer in the fact that Valentines' Day is for Lovers, I have never done much with or for the children on this day; I mainly concentrate on my man. I make sure that it is a fun, well-planned, and of course, romantic evening with Patrick, my husband. Check out my website for marriage tips and ideas for One Enchanted Evening together. Otherwise, I say an early bedtime for the children would be second best!

So mom, no matter what your traditions are this winter, get ready because Christmas will be here before we know it. Yes, it’s a Beautiful Life and I’m glad Traditions are a part of mine. So what do you have to add to the list?
Leave a comment or send an e-mail!
ELLEN

Stay Tuned for Some Talk on Traditions

2008-09-07T11:44:00.000-07:00

Dear Moms,

This week we are going to talk about something near and dear to my heart, Traditions. A Famous person one time said, “ You don’t have to do great things in your life, just do simple things as if they were extraordinary.” Who do you think said that? If you guessed St. Theresa the little Flower of Jesus, that would be something she said in different words, but not who I was quoting. St. Theresa believed in doing little things for God, so that was a good guess. If you said Mother Teresa of Calcutta, again a great guess, but again wrong. No, this was a quote from Helen Keller; that’s why I was so impressed with it. Think about it for a minute--a blind, deaf woman who could barely speak, aimed her heights on doing simple things, as if they were extraordinary. That’s the key to motherhood in a nutshell. A good mother does simple things each day as if they were extraordinary. One way she can do that is by making every day special and some days EXTRA-SPECIAL. Mom, look for opportunities to make a memory!
One way of Making Memories is through Traditions.

In our home we are fond of Traditions. Yes, we seize every opportunity to make a memory. We want our children to enjoy our home more than any other place on this earth. As Dorothy said on the WIZARD OF OZ, “THERE’S NO PLACE LIKE HOME.” We desire that even our adult children will have good memories of being home. Life is full of memories. I strive very hard in our home to make positive memories; and therefore, we are very fond of traditions at our home, Traditions that we can pass down from generation to generation.

This week I will share some of our favorite family traditions. My hope, dear reader, is that you, in turn, will share a few of yours as well. Then, we can learn from each other. My children look forward to these traditions, which make our house a home. Many of our traditions changed as our children grew older. We do those traditions that seem peaceful to the family. When a tradition became a burden rather than a blessing, it was time to do away with the tradition or at least change it. I have divided this week's daily blog into Autumn, Winter, Spring and Summer. So Halloween will be under Autumn, Christmas under Winter etc. So be sure and look each day. I’ll be waiting for your comments!

What a tremendous responsibility Motherhood is. We house our children, first within our wombs, them within our homes, and always in our hearts. As I close my blog today, mainly because my eyes are closing without my permission, I can almost see Dartavia smiling at us from Fiddler on the Roof. If I’m really quiet I can hear him sing loudly, T-R-A-D-I-T-I-O-N, T-R-A-D-I-T-I-O-N…….. Can you hear him too? Maybe it’s a mirage....OR….Maybe I’m already asleep…..ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

See you tomorrow,
ELLEN

Don't Forget About "YOU"!

2008-09-05T04:40:00.001-07:00

Dear Moms,

Are you about balanced out? Don’t Give Up The Ship , because the best is yet to come! We all make mistakes in parenting, even if we don’t like to admit it. One of my biggest Mothering mistakes was that I neglected to take care of myself. I gave sacrificially, and yes selflessly, until there was no more to give. What was the fruit? I was a blessing to my husband and a blessing to my children, and a disaster to myself. I ended up in the bed more times than I want to count, with sickness, exhaustion or severe postpartum depression. Yes, at times, I was an UNPERSON. I had SUBMISSIONED MYSELF into a STEPFORD WIFE, who had no opinions. I had mothered myself into exhaustion. I kept the perfect house with the expense of my health. Even when walking through the dark hours of Depression, I made sure my ship was running smoothly, refusing to even take a nap. I, being a TYPE-TRIPLE A Personality, always gave over 200%. Do you know what I was during that season of my life? I was hungry, sleepy, and sad.

I must admit that by the “Grace of God,” I learned some things along the way. It was a hard lesson that I learned through pain and suffering. Did you ever face in your life an “UPHILL BATTLE” on a mountain that God did not want you to climb in the first place? That WORD PICTURE explains it all. Now I tell mothers, all mothers young as well as old ,that God wants you to take good care of yourself, so that you can take care of your family. Do you remember the old childhood song?
J ESUS and
O THERS and
Y OU what a wonderful way to spell JOY.

Yes ,the Great Commandment says, “LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR AS YOURSELF.” No, it is not Pride or even vanity to love yourself; it is God’s Command. And it is the final KEY to living a balanced life. Here are some Quick Tips that I learned along the way:
1. Sleep Eight Hours A Day--even if it means that you go to bed early and your husband watches all the children even the nursing baby.
2. Eat A Balanced Diet--You need both food and sleep to nurse your baby healthily and take care of the other children. (I'm saying this is true as I am a recovering Anorexic)
3. Always Use Good Hegemony--Mom, teeth, hair, shaven legs, showers, eyebrows, etc., “You Are Human.” You need care to be Healthy and Strong.
4. Get A Hairdo that Flatters Your Face, and take the time to fix it.
5. Invest In A Wardrobe That Enhances Your Figure.
6. Exercise Daily If Possible--you will feel better about yourself and so will your husband.
7. Read A Book A Month If Possible or join a book Club.
8. Do A PAMPER ME DAY Monthly. (Pedicures and Manicures or what ever makes you feel feminine.)
9. Keep The Romance Alive (SEX IN THE CONTEXT OF MARRIAGE IS GREAT. It is also a STRESS RELIEVER if you didn’t know that).
10. Last, but surely not least, TAKE A MONTHLY RETREAT WITH GOD. Set a date go to a Church or a quiet place and just REST IN THE LORD. It will bring you great peace and refresh your soul. HE MAKES ME LIE DOWN IN GREEN PASTURES, HE REFRESHES MY SOUL.

Mom, You count, so take good care of yourself. I am all about, THE LOST ART OF MOTHERHOOD, but my second passion, besides writing Christian Books, Is THE LOST ART OF FEMININITY. If you are a Woman, BE A WOMAN; your FEMININITY is GOD’S GIFT TO YOU AND GOD’S GIFT TO YOUR HUSBAND. BE THE BEST YOU CAN BE, BE BEAUTIFUL! After all, you are GOD’S CREATION. What did God say? I think it went something like this, “YOU ARE FEARFULLY AND WONDERFULLY MADE.” Our Pastor shares that when Adam saw Eve, he said, “WOW.” What does your husband say when he sees you coming?

Mom, what do you think? ASK ELLEN.

Balancing Friends and Ministries

2008-09-05T04:31:00.001-07:00

Dear Moms,

The fifth area of balance--friends or ministries--requires the most prayer, planning and prudence. The tendency, as we well know, is to neglect God, Husband, Children, and Home, so we can either, be with our friends, or serve in a ministry. This is true, Mom, isn’t it? I promise you that there is hope because a well-balanced, Godly woman will have room on her plate for all six areas of importance, but it takes time to get that healthy balance. Did you know that we are accountable to God on “DID YOU LOVE ONE ANOTHER?” Who are the main people we are called by God to love? That would be our husbands, our children, our parents, and our siblings.

I heard a pastor one time say, “TO ME, FAMILY COMES FIRST.” He went on to say, “I don’t want to win the whole world to Christ, and lose my son.” Those few words stuck with me for life. It really encouraged me to always remember what is most important and to always keep my priorities straight.

So do we give up all our friends, be a slave to our husband, a servant to our children and a prisoner to our home with our face in the Bible and at Church every time the door opens up? No, No and DEFINITELY NO! God came to set us free. Remember the Bible verse, “WHERE THE SPIRIT OF THE LORD IS THERE IS LIBERTY.” As we learn the art of Balance, there is plenty of time for, “GIRLS WHO JUST WANT TO HAVE FUN.” We just have to sit at the feet of Our Savior, learn His still small voice, and learn to walk in His ways.

If you only knew me ,you would know how important friends are to me. You see I’m a FOREVER FRIEND, which means that I keep my friends for life, and I have over 500 people on my Christmas list to prove it. I tell them that they can only get off my Christmas list if they die. I believe that everyone needs close, supporting friendships. In fact, for the past twenty years, I have been going on retreat with the same three girlfriends twice a year. This satisfies a spiritual need, as well as a friendship need. They have been with me in all seasons of life, the ups and the downs, and have prayed me through it. I have lunch with some of my retreat sisters monthly. I also have two prayer partners, which I connect with, for daily prayer. They are very dear to my life and I can’t imagine life without them. My husband and I have Couple Friends that we get together with socially. The Bible says, “A FRIEND IS A FRIEND AT ALL TIMES, BUT IT IS ADVERSITY THAT MAKES A BROTHER.” Even Jesus called his disciples Friends. I’m sad when I see a young mother give up all her friends to serve her family. Do you remember , “ALL WORK AND NO PLAY MAKES JOHN A DULL BOY?” If you want to grow as a whole person, you must keep friends in your life, because except for God and family, they are the only ones that love you enough to speak the truth to you, in a way you will be able to hear it.

Ministries are equally important in a Christian Woman’s life. Ministries give you a chance to use your gifts. Sometimes they give you a chance to discover you gifts. Yes, sometimes you will discover a gift that you didn’t know you had,;other times, you will discover that you don’t have a gift that you thought you did. Serving in a ministry is a growing experience; it will grow your gifts, as it grows you as a person.

It is a tremendous CONFIDENCE BUILDER, especially for a stay-at-home mom. I always had a ministry of some sort that I served at, all through my child raising years. I had a Dance Studio in my home where I taught Ballet, Creative Movement and Interpretive Dance. I didn’t charge, but rather accepted Love Offerings. We even had yearly Recitals. I taught Parenting Classes at the local Care Pregnancy Center, which I still do. Lastly, I am a Christian Writer and I sell as well as give a lot of my material away. So if you haven’t found the ministry that God has hand picked for you, PRAY and ask God where you can serve. You will know when you are in the right ministry because it will bring you GREAT JOY, a fruit of the Spirit by the way. You will be a Blessing to the ministry you choose and they will be a blessing to you.

So Gals get busy balancing your life, because there is work to be done. In the midst of it, don’t forget that there is time for, “Girls Who Just Want To Have Fun.” Always Remember, you are not alone on finding this balance; God will help you as you seek His Face. I have to close now because I have to meet my Baby Girl at the Gym!

Ellen

Honoring Your Husband

2008-08-30T05:43:00.000-07:00

For more ideas on honoring your husband, visit our web site, and check out the Marriage Tips!

Taking Care of Your Home

2008-08-30T05:18:00.000-07:00

Dear Moms,

To some, this will be the least favorite of all the areas to balance in your life; nonetheless, it is God’s will that we keep a clean, orderly home. It will bring peace to your life as well as to the lives of your family members. Order brings peace. Your home must come fourth in your priority list. Mom, you know that your life is out of balance when your home is falling apart. I’m not just talking about those dusty end tables that have been calling your name for two weeks. Is your home peaceful and organized? Many times, women serve outside the home because it makes them feel loved and appreciated. After all, when was the last time someone thanked you for cleaning your toilets? I’m all for appreciation. Sometimes, Mom, we feel like housework is a thankless job. The key to being fulfilled daily in housework is to do as the Bible says “Do all as unto the Lord, not for men." Never do you need this Scripture more than on cleaning day!

Yes, but we all know deep in our hearts, that God’s best is for us is to put our home first. Then if your home is running smoothly, then and only then, are you free to serve outside the home. Some people believe that the sacrifice is to leave your house undone and help someone else with their needs. This, except in the case of an emergency, is just not true. The greater sacrifice is to clean up your own house; trust me on this one. I have a dear friend that is always asking for prayers that she can get her home in order. On many occasions, I just blurt out, “I’ve got an inventive idea; stay home and clean it.” I gently add, “The angels will help you, but you actually have to be there for them to do that, my friend.”

Change is difficult, so here are ten tips to get you moving in the forward direction toward order in the home. Keep in mind, I’m a little like the character MONICA, on the TV sitcom FRIENDS, so bear with me patiently, for you may very well be the opposite extreme. Remember, “THEREFORE THERE IS NO CONDEMNATION FOR THOSE WHO ARE IN CHRIST JESUS.”

1. Never leave the house without picking it up with the exception of carpools. I know I was a carpool mom, and the house takes second to carpools because the children come first.
2. Start in one room and finish that room. Room hopping causes confusion.
3. Take a laundry basket and put all item that belong elsewhere in it. Later put all items away.
4. Do heavy cleaning all in one day, once a week if possible.
5. Grocery shop from a list. Go grocery shopping once a week. It helps to make out weekly menus.
6. Delegate the chores, using your assets, your children.
7. Call a Saturday work party weekly. Have a list ready for your husband and your children.
8. Use a day timer. Make a weekly list, a monthly list, and a yearly list and. Refer to it often.
9. Run errands all in one day. It’s a time saver.
10. Put away laundry the day you do it.
11. Aim to never leave dishes in the sink or clothes not put away or beds unmade.
12. Start the day in prayer. Ask God to help you to be a planned, yet flexible person.

An orderly house is a peaceful house, and one your children and your husband will love to come home to, so make that your aim. Good habits, once formed, will serve you well. When all else fails, hire a maid. It was a need for us when I was raising seven children. Now, it is a luxury, which gives me time to write. The truth is, even with Ella cleaning, who is like part of the family, since she has worked for us nearly twenty years, there is still plenty to do. Mom, a Proverbs 31 Woman doesn‘t happen overnight; it takes years to grow into this barely attainable goal. Never forget, "I CAN DO ALL THINGS THROUGH CHRIST WHO STRENGTHENS ME," then get out that toilet wand and see if anyone thanks you for cleaning them!
Have questions or something to add? Leave a comment or send an e-mail!
Ellen

Your Children

2008-08-29T12:10:00.000-07:00

Dear Moms,

Did you ever see a clown do a balancing act? Just when they get two plates going the third plate falls to the ground. How many of us feel like that clown some days, especially if it is a Monday or summertime? The key to keeping those plates in the air is a lot of prayer! In other words, if you want to give attention to where attention is needed, you have to learn to depend on God’s direction. I’ll let you in on a little secret, NO ONE CAN DO IT ALL ON THEIR OWN STRENGTH--no, there are no SUPER WOMEN OR SUPER MOMS. Without God, it can’t be done, especially for the woman living in the 2000’s. Yet, we all agree there is a lot to do. So start your days in prayer. Then. ask God to order your days. Yes, commit your days to the Lord and He will see you through.

God first, Husbands second, Children third, I believe is God’s order for a Christian woman. So what are some practical ways to put your children third?
1. Treat them as a Blessing, not as a burden.
2. Pray with them daily, taking every opportunity you can to lead them to Christ and to know God’s Word.
3. Form them in Godly character. Virtue is even being taught in schools, at least here in Georgia. Encourage the virtues they are learning in school.
4. Teach them life skills. Cooking, cleaning, hygiene, money sense, parenting skills, the beauty of sexuality in the context of marriage are all things they should be learning from you.
5. Spend time with your children.
6. Make memories and form family traditions.
7. Listen to them, and really hear them, even if it is the hundredth time they have said, “AND YOU KNOW WHAT, AND YOU KNOW WHAT,”
8. Encourage them daily.
9. Give Godly wisdom when asked, and avoid giving just your opinion.
10. As the Proverbs Woman states, “KEEP THE LAW OF KINDNESS ON YOUR LIPS.”

Remember every parent is different, and as well, every child is different. What works for one person may not work for another. That’s why we need Jesus, our personal Savior, to guide us for what is best for our uniquely, individual lives. I don’t have all the answers either; that’s what keeps me on my knees before the throne of God, because He does have all the answers. There are going to be days when we blow up or get frustrated. These are the days that we beg God for forgiveness and our child as well. I know that both are waiting with open arms to love you back into their lives and forgive you unconditionally. Take a moment now to search your heart and see if you need to talk to your child or your God.

Now Mom, get those plates out--God first, Husband second, and Children third, and try once again to do the balancing act. I know one thing: it will take a lot of practice. If we listen to the Holy Spirit deep in our hearts, obey His voice, and learn to walk in His grace, I’m convinced, it can be done. REMEMBER MOM-----PRACTICE MAKES PERFECT------AND NEVER STOP TRYING. God’s grace is always sufficient; the Bible tells us so.

That’s all for today. As always Ask Ellen, I love to give my opinion, and I will pray that it will be Godly.

ELLEN

Your Husband

2008-08-28T15:08:00.000-07:00

Dear Moms,

Everyone knows that if you are to have a balanced life your husband has to come first, next to God, of course. If you are a single parent, my hat is off to you. God promises in His word that He would take care of widows and orphans. He will indeed be your husband as you depend totally on Him. However, for those of us who are married, I have some advice for you. In my dental office there is a plaque that reads, "Ignore your teeth and they will go away." Think about this, ignore your husband and he will go away, as well. Most people who are divorced will say, “WE JUST GREW APART.” Ladies, marriage is one of those parts of your life that you have to work on daily. Then, you grow together and not apart. My husband and I teach Engaged weekend at our Catholic church for those couples seeking to receive the Sacrament of Matrimony. We teach and we believe in the fact that the couple comes ahead of the children, the home, the friend, the outside activities, yes, even ahead of yourself. This is easier said then done, so here are some practical tips, tried and true:
1. Communicate daily--heart-to-heart.
2. Have a date weekly.
3. Pray together daily.
4. Work out conflicts quickly.
5. Always be the first to say, “ I’m sorry.”
6. Honor one another and defer to one another.
7. Say “I LOVE YOU” often.
8. Start the day by asking your husband if there is anything that you can do for him and do that first.
9. Thank each other even for the little things.
10. Reverence and respect your husband.

Every day when I look at my husband, I think of all we have been through, the good times as well as the bad. How we’ve been together in sickness and in health. How God has made us one physically and mentally, as well as spiritually. How we have birthed babies, as well as buried a baby together. We’ve done all this hand and hand, as we have walked the path that God has chosen for us. It helps that Patrick, my husband, looks like George Clooney, but even if he didn’t, I am committed til death do us part. Yes, when I said my marriage vows, even if I was only twenty years old at the time, I meant them. As Ed, a friend of Pat’s family who married us said when speaking about the vows, “THEY TOOK.” How about you? Are you putting your marriage first after you relationship to God, or has something else taken that place in your heart? Ladies, when you stand before God, He’s not going to ask how many souls you saved or even how clean was you house, but rather how did you live out your vocation of marriage. "This is my commandment that you love one another that your joy may be full," are the words of an old song. It should be our marriage theme song. Start today to live the marriage covenant lovingly. God’s plan always works best. Marriage was His idea in the first place. Go back and read Genesis 1.

What do you think? Leave a comment or ask a question.
ELLEN

Putting God First

2008-08-26T05:36:00.000-07:00

Dear Moms,

God must always come first, yes, even if you have a houseful of children. Let’s make that, especially if you have a houseful of children! Never have I needed God more than when I was raising my seven close-together children, especially since I had the first six in twelve years. Yes, life was busy and that is just why God had to live in the center of my heart; I was incapable of doing all that I had to do without Him. I may slack off my prayertime a day or two now, but not in those days. I needed a lot of grace just to get through those sleepless nights with a newborn, then be awake enough the next morning to put a smile on my face and drive all the children to school. That required grace especially if I had a potty trainer thrown into the mix. My friend, Sue, used to say, “WITHOUT THE GRACE, I CAN’T DO THIS, LORD!” Sue raised eight close-together children. You know that old saying, “I DON’T KNOW MY OWN STRENTGH?” Well, we did. Our strength came totally from God. It still does.

I prefer being a Mary in the Bible. You know, Jesus’ best friend who chose the better portion, by sitting at Jesus’ feet. My joke is God gave me seven children to raise, so I became a Martha; I had no choice. I remember when my sixth child was born, a delightful surprise to the two of us, who thought our quiver was full. Strangers would comment, “WHAT A BEAUTIFUL FAMILY.” What would I respond with the best southern charm that I could muster up, “IT’S A LOT OF WORK.” I learned to embrace the work and I thank God that He was able to train some Proverbs 31 qualities in me through the years. They say “HARD WORK NEVER KILLED ANYONE.” I am living proof of that and I praise God for it. I did have a lot of help from my angels as well.

Those who knew me in those days knew also that my prayertime was at ten o’clock on the dot. Oh that I could be that disciplined again. I would give the preschoolers some toys in the play room, take the nursing baby with me, (mostly so no one killed them), then I would sit down at the kitchen table to pray. For that hour of peace and quiet everyone was instructed to not bother mom because she was praying. Short of an emergency, no one did. That was God’s gift to me. I would sing praise songs, read scripture, journal and intercede before the throne of God and it was Glorious. Then at eleven o’clock on the dot, after getting the instructions from God for the day, I was ready to face the world of mother and wife, my chosen vocation. As I look back on my life and watch my girls trod the path I have paved, with children of their own, I know it was God who saw me through. Like Sue said, “WITHOUT THE GRACE, I CAN’T DO THIS, LORD.”

As the day progressed I would include my little ones in centering my day on God. We would light a candle each day together and sing the song “THIS IS THE DAY.” Throughout the day we would sing praise songs, and whenever I could, I would respond to them in scripture. For instance, if they were impatient, I would sing, “ HAVE PATIENCE, HAVE PATIENCE, DON'T BE IN SUCH A HURRY. WHEN YOU GET IMPATIENT, YOU ONLY START TO WORRY.” Now my girls sing it to their children. Remember passing the torch. Scripture says, "Speak to your children day and night about God." We tried, in our home, to do just that, closing the day with prayer. At night, my husband was in charge of praying with them and putting them to sleep.

Never was the expression, “IT’S ONLY THROUGH THE GRACE OF GOD,” more true, than in motherhood. My advice to you is put God first, and the rest of the day will fall into place. So mom, begin today finding ways to make Him Lord of your day. You’ll be surprised at how peaceful your days will become.

I love to answer questions about my faith as well as motherhood, so just ask away.
Ellen

Balance

2008-08-26T05:23:00.000-07:00

Dear Moms,

Let's talk about BALANCE. As a mother of seven children, balance is an area in my life that I have to continually work on. How about you? There is a book by Linda Dillow, a dinosaur by the way, that talks about this very subject. The title of the book is “CREATIVE COUNTERPART.“ It is an oldie, but goodie. In this book, Linda Dillow takes five areas of a married woman’s life that she has to keep in balance. She expands on each area with personal experiences as well as biblical principles. It even has a bible study guide to go along with it. You most likely would have to go on google to get a copy of it; it is well worth it, for it is a great study. I’m going to do something similar this week, taking six areas of my life and talking about keeping them in balance, along with bibllical principles. So, you won’t want to miss this week's blog!

The six areas I have chosen to talk about are as follows:
1. God
2. Husband
3. Children
4. Home
5. Ministries, Hobbies and Friends
6. You

We all know this: if any of these areas of our life are ignored, we are out of balance. Some areas we need to grow in daily, like God, husband and children and even you. Other areas are a weekly commitment, like Home, Ministries, hobbies and, friends. All are important; all take time. To be a balanced, Godly Woman, we must find a way to work on all these areas of our life, step-by-step, and day-by-day. Mom, are you ready for the challenge, to be the BEST MOM YOU CAN BE? Stop and say a little pray that God will change you through this week’s wisdom. I often tell women that God doesn’t usually just reach down and change you. No, He’s not some fairy with a magic wand that just goes PRESTO-CHANGE-O. No, God usually changes you in the following ways:
1. Prayer--He Changes You Within As You Spend Time With Him
2. Life Circumstances--Yes, walking through life’s trials or joys makes you different.
3. People--He helps you to change through the example and through the correction of others.
4. Study--As we seek, we find, whether it be a mentor or just digging into God’s Word for yourself.

I can’t wait until tomorrow to talk about the first area: putting God first. I find that to be the steering wheel for my life, or to put it in modern terms, my own private GPS. Do you want to discover the secret to a balanced? Then tomorrow we will learn how to SEEK YE FIRST THE KINGDOM OF GOD AND HIS RIGHTEOUSNESS AND ALL THESE THINGS WILL BE ADDED UNTO YOU. Let us study together and vow to grow!

Questions? JUST ASK ELLEN

Passing the Torch

2008-08-21T15:50:00.001-07:00

Dear Moms,

Yes, daughters are a delight. The most important thing to remember about daughters is there are no two alike. So you have to raise them and treat them differently. Just like St. Paul says, “YOU HAVE TO BE EVERYTHING TO EVERYONE.” How do you do that? Mom, it is simple. Get to know them. Make it your goal to know their likes and dislikes. My Amanda loves pink and so do I, but my Kaitlin would not be caught dead in pink. Everyone likes Chinese food but Charity because it makes her sick. Some of my girls like to be noticed, while others are shy. When the girls were little, if I gave one girl a compliment, I had to always add all their names or one of my girls would feel insecure. It would go something like this, “YOU LOOK PRETTY TAROLYN. YOU TOO CHARITY, AMANDA AND KAITLIN.” It truly has become our family joke. Some are party girls, while others are homebodies. Some call me out of commitment, while others can talk all day. Mom, invest your time not in things that will whither and fade, like jobs and expensive houses; spend time with family building your relationships and forming your daughters into godly women. That will become the fruit that is passed down generation after generation. In Psalm it says, "Teach the next generation the things of God." I, for one, take that responsibility seriously. RISE UP, OH WOMAN OF GOD. PASS THE TORCH TO THE NEXT GENERATION.

This is a paragraph from Shirley Price’s book, God’s Plan For Wife and Mother: "Is it worth it to raise your children according to God’s direction? You bet it is worthwhile. Andrew Murray had eleven children. Five sons were preachers and four girls married ministers. In the next generation, ten grandsons were preachers and thirteen great grandchildren were missionaries. Proverbs 11:17 says that the memory of the just is blessed."

We just watched, as a World, the Olympics. Those who took home the gold strove for excellence. They prefaced their performance with hard work, perseverance, and pain. We should learn from their example. We should strive for excellence in the Kingdom of God. We should work hard, persevere, even through pain, and be the best mom we can be. Vow today to waste time with your daughters individually and as a group. Live the scripture, "As for me and my household, we will serve the Lord." Start today; you older women, teach the younger women. Mentor your daughters whether they are two or they are twenty-two. Yes, PASS THE TORCH OF GOD’S LOVE TO THE NEXT GENERATION.

What are some of your mother-to-daughter memories, wisdom, or pitfalls? E-mail me or leave a comment!

ELLEN

Nana or Grandma: Help Please!

2008-08-20T12:53:00.000-07:00

Dear Moms,

If you are not a grandma or nana yet, like me, e-mail this blog posting to your mom or mother-in-law. They will appreciate the wisdom, and you will receive a blessing because of it. Mom, do you remember being a mommy? Let me remind you with a walk down memory lane. There were sleepless nights and you didn‘t even live in SEATTLE! There was spit up on your blouse that you put on backwards as you were rushing out the door, with the nursing baby in tow, to run a carpool. There was laundry to do, a house in disarray and dinner to cook. You weren‘t praying, “LORD GIVE ME MORE TIME,” but rather, “LORD, I NEED SLEEP,” OR “LORD I NEED A SHOWER.” Secretly, if the truth be known, we were all praying, “LORD, I NEED MY MOMMY.” Yes, days were too long, nights were too short, and we just needed a little help around this place and a little adult conversation.

Nana or grandma, that’s where you come in all rested and smiling with the white hairs, that show your wisdom, covered up by a dye job, of course, to protect your vanity. What do you do? You serve, Martha. Don’t try to get by with an, "I’ll pray for you honey." They do not need prayer they need you to roll, up your sleeves, put on the apron of humility, and serve in any and all ways you are needed. Don’t wait to be asked, nana, because of course, they will say "no." Don’t say, “IS THERE ANYTHING I CAN DO?” Of course there is, look around, nana, we are getting old, but we can still see. Just remember when you were in that boat and no one was helping you row. You are the Simon that God is sending them to help them carry their cross. Yes, you are there to lessen the load and bring out some joy to their land. It helps to remember, ”A MOTHERS MIDDLE NAME IS SACRIFICE AND ONCE A MOTHER ALWAYS A MOTHER.” That’s why they need their mommy.

When I go to visit my married daughters, I use the gifts God gave me to bless them. I’m an organizer, so I hit the ground running as soon as my plane lands, and after hugging them affectionately and catching up on life and arriving at their home, I begin. I clean out closets, organize pantries, and reorganize the playroom. On my breaks, I play with the grandbabies, run errands with my daughters, buy the food , and take them out to dinner. Do I sleep? BARELY. What sleep I do get is pleasant and fulfilling because of lots of hard work mixed with a job well done. When visiting my daughter Tarolyn, I even spoke at her MOMS CLUB. Yes, I share my gifts and try to be a BLESSING to their lives. I think it is working because my son-in-law, Dan, invites me to come--maybe because he appreciates me cleaning out the refrigerator or maybe because the house gets straightened. My son-in-law, Kyle, says, "Can you stay an extra week?" Then he adds, "I think I will ask my mom to detail clean when she comes." You see, that’s her gift. What is your gift, Grandma? Did you ever hear the song, “IF WE ARE HIS BODY, WHY AREN'T OUR ARMS REACHING?” Never have your arms been more needed or more appreciated then in the lives of your daughters. Just a side note, you may have to approach this a lot more tenderly with a daughter-in law. LOOK BEFORE YOU LEAP, NANA. In other wards, ASK BEFORE YOU TAKE OVER THE HOUSE. They may react totally differently to you than they would to their own mom. I talk about mother-in-laws on another post. I bet I can get a lot of e-mails on that one.

My advice to you, nana or grandma, is BE THERE. Help where you are needed, and for heaven sakes, BE A BLESSING. You are Jesus with skin on to them. Nana, or Grandma, ask yourself, “WHAT WOULD JESUS DO?” THEN JUST DO IT. A nd do it with all your heart as unto the Lord. Kiss them all goodbye, get back on that plane with a smile on your face and a heart filled with memories that will last a lifetime. Pamper yourself now; you desire a break. Take some rest and relaxation; you’ve earned it.

What do you think? Just ask Ellen!

More on Raising Daughters

2008-08-19T19:24:00.000-07:00

Dear Moms,

We talked about group dates with my daughters on the last post. Those “GIRLS' NIGHTS OUT” truly build sisterhood among all of us. After all, aren’t we all “SISTERS IN CHRIST?” Yet, in order for our Mother-Daughter relationships to be healthy with each daughter, since I do have four daughters, I plan and schedule a lot of ONE-ON-ONE TIME. When the daughters were in school, the most natural thing to do was grab a bite to eat together. We also would do a lot of shopping trips as well. I would let them share their hearts with me and ask questions that they didn’t want to ask with other sisters there. It became the perfect setting for them to open up and just be themselves. I always treasure those times together. I only have one single daughter and only two daughters in town, so whenever I can, weekly if possible, I try to schedule a Mom and Me Time. The effort it takes to make this happen is well worth it in the fruit it bears. I was always the one my girls sought advice from, not a teacher, not a counselor, not another Mom. I would also encourage the girls that if they ever had a problem that they couldn’t talk to me about, then to go to one of their sisters or their brothers, or their dad. S ince our family is so close, most problems were solved within the family network. As the Word of God says, “IF ONE REJOICES, WE ALL REJOICE. IF ONE SUFFERS, WE ALL SUFFER.” That is so true in our family.

With three married daughters and two living out of town, we are forced to have a lot of our ONE-ON-ONE TIME on the phone. This is where we thank God for cell phones. It had to be invented by a woman who had daughters who lived out of town. If my daughters need me, I want to be there for them. One well meaning friend suggested that I just don’t answer the phone if I am busy. My reply was that I’m never too busy for family. Yes, my daughters and I are in daily connection. Yes, sometimes the phone rings off the wall, but it’s always a joy to hear their voices, even if the grandchildren are screaming in the background. If I’m scheduled for a writing day, I will answer the phone with a, “HEY, IS IT ANYTHING IMPORTANT?” If the answer is no, I say, “CAN I CALL YOU BACK?” The answer is always, “YES.“ Everyone understands because we all live busy lives. These sharing times involve anything from asking for prayer, to sharing a recipe, to motherhood or marriage advice. Sometimes I’m even the one asking for prayer, a recipe or advice. It helps that we are all best friends. When I’m not on the phone with them, guess who they are on the phone with? You guessed it, each other. God says, "Call to me and I will be there.” We moms need to be imitators of God to our children in that area. Mom, if they are not confiding in you and seeking after your godly wisdom, who are they getting advice from?

So, Mom, get out your calendars, then pick up the phone and make a date with your daughter. If they live out of town, tell them to call for a phone date. Vow to never be too busy to be available to your most precious possessions, your children. Sometimes people will ask me what I want for my birthday or Christmas and I will reply, “TIME.” There’s so much to do and so little time to do it in. I’m always saying to God, “IF THERE WERE JUST EIGHT DAYS IN THE WEEK.” Time--use it wisely, and waste it not. Use your time to build a Godly Family. When you stand before God, will He say, “WELL DONE, YOU GOOD AND FAITHFUL SERVANT”? What do you think, Mom? E-mail me or leave a comment!

ELLEN

Raising Daughters

2008-08-18T13:02:00.000-07:00

Dear Moms,

We all know how special children are to us. God's Word states in Proverbs, "CHILDREN ARE A BLESSING FROM THE LORD.” Those of you who have children know just what God meant. I hope that God is continually growing a “MOTHER’S HEART” within you. We need that daily dose of our Father God’s love to see us through, and then we, in turn, can give that Blessing on to our children, that blessing of sacrificial, agape love. Now, as special as sons are, there is something different that God has called us to do to form our daughters. Yes, God has called you, mom, to form your daughters into women. That is huge and impossible without God’s guidance. Attention, mom, the world, the flesh and the devil, are trying to “eat our lunch.” If we don’t form these women into godliness, who will? How do we do that? This week's topic is going to address just that. So, tell a friend and don’t forget to read my blog this week!

The first way we form our daughters into godly women is to be a godly woman. We must give our hearts and our lives to Christ Jesus our Lord and learn then to know Him. As you know Him, Mom, you will begin to love Him, because He is love. God is Love, I repeat. Then, as He fills you with His love, you will be able to pour out His love on all you meet, especially on your husband and your children. Then, you will desire to serve Him. It all starts with your yes at the Cross. Then, find a church home and begin not only to read the bible, but to obey God’s Word. I am a Roman Catholic. I met Jesus when I received my First Holy Communion at age seven at St. Jerome’s Catholic Church on the first Saturday in May in the year 1960. God spoke to me in the stillness of my heart and my life was changed forever. Since this is a Moms' blog, I don’t want to take up any more time, but e-mail me with any questions or comments on this topic.

Mom, be a good example! I’m convinced that everyone needs a mentor. The most natural mentor, mom, is your mom. If your mom is not a believer, what do you do? How can you be a good example if you weren’t given a good example? This is the reason that God has raised up Older Women, as in the book of Titus, to teach and train the younger women. See how important church is for us all. Please note that Moms who are not believers can teach us a lot as well. Always, “HONOR YOUR MOTHER.” It is a spiritual principal. It also comes with a blessing. That is, “YOU WILL HAVE A LONG, GOOD LIFE.” I learned a long, long time ago, YOU CAN LEARN SOMETHING FROM EVERYONE AND EVERYONE CAN LEARN SOMETHING FROM YOU. Learn well and then you, in turn, can mentor your daughters.

Then, we must spend time with them. As your friends are so will you be like them. God gave you these daughters to raise then, as my husband says, "We are raising these children to be our BEST FRIENDS.” We believe that is God’s best--to be friends with our adult children, yes, best of friends. In our home, we have “Girls' Night Out.” We try for monthly, and it is impromptu. When children come from out of town, we always try to get together. We eat out, go to a movie, catch the ballet, or just sit around and talk. No BOYS OR CHILDREN ALLOWED. One year, the girls went to New York together. I missed the trip because grandpa was dying. There are lots of ways to work quality time into your relationships with your daughters, but the important thing is to start when they are very, very young. If they were never a priority growing up, you will not have that BEST FRIEND relationship you so need and desire with your adult children.

So mom, aim to be a godly woman, find a mentor, and spend time together forming those daughters to be women of God.

I know you all have questions and comments on this one. Just ASK ELLEN.

Ellen Mongan

Work and Play

2008-08-16T11:51:00.000-07:00

Dear Moms,

Sometimes in our family, we are able to mix work and play. When you may ask? That would be in the case of a family member's move, the birth of a baby, or even an injury or an illness. When my father-in-law was dying, this became a reality. It was Easter Week and all the children were home, along with my husband's brother from Germany. We held Easter dinner at our home. Tarolyn, my daughter, brought the bouncy house; I bought eggs to color. The volleyball net was set up in the backyard, and there was a horse shoe game available. On the play side everyone joined in the fun. Now, for the work part--everyone took turns caring for Grandpa; all the adults prepared the meal (remember we are a cooking family), and of course, everyone cleaned up together. Never before was I more delighted to have a large, close family bond. Tears can come to my eyes as I can still picture my son Joshua carrying his grandpa on his back to the bathroom, so grandpa didn't have to wear diapers. That, my friend, is agape love in action. Grandpa died the very next day with his daughters-in-law and sons by his side, praying for his soul, holding his hands, and ushering him in before the throne of God in Heaven.

When we moved to our new home, leaving behind the house that our children grew up in, it was all hands on deck. Married children even came from out-of-town to lend a hand. It was quite a work party. We laughed and made a memory that will last a lifetime. All I can say is, "It was a lot of work." That is one sentence my entire family will agree on. One son-in-law had a brilliant idea that had to come from the heart of God. What was it, you may ask? It was, "NEXT TIME, LET'S HIRE A MOVER!" That was the second thing we all agreed upon on that move. We served beer and had food throughout the day and threw a pizza party at the end of the day and celebrated. Yes, we ate, drank, and I can tell you, we very merry. Pulling together for a common goal and making the work fun makes it all worthwhile.

Lastly, when a baby is to be born or a wedding to be planned, it is a time of celebration for the Mongan family. There are showers to plan, advice to be shared, and of course, maternity clothes and baby clothes to be passed down. Getting ready for a birth or the Sacrament of matrimony is a labor of love that everyone enjoys being a part of. Charity, my daughter, has been known to arrange the flowers with her home business, FORGET ME Knots, or even host the occasion at her restaurant AROMA'S. My daughter, Amanda, has an invitation business. She is always more than willing to do wedding invitations or baby shower invites. Yes, many hands make light work and we have a lot of fun along the way.

So be creative; let the Lord lead your family to make every day a memory, whether work or play. Always remember, "The joy of the Lord is your strength." Never forget, "If you don't work, you don't eat."

Ellen Mongan

More Family Fun

2008-08-15T06:57:00.000-07:00

Dear Moms,

Every family is different. That’s a good thing, by the way. So part of having family fun is finding out what is sure to be a “GOOD TIME” to your family members. Then, individually design the day to make the most people happy, always keeping in mind that “YOU CAN PLEASE SOME OF THE PEOPLE SOME OF THE TIME, BUT YOU CAN'T PLEASE ALL THE PEOPLE ALL THE TIME.” Sometimes, the greater blessing goes to the person who is making the sacrifice of doing an activity that they dislike to build family. All family members will take a turn, taking one for the team. ALL for one and one for all!

My husband, for example, is not a beach lover , yet he rents the family a beach house every year. What does he do while we are all enjoying fun in the sun and swimming in the pool? He is busy doing his yearly puzzle. Don’t feel sorry for him; there are many family members who help him, and it provides great “DAD and Me” time on the beach trip.

Our family is a very physical family. That means that when we get together and are not watching football on the big screen, we are participating in a family sport. We enjoy volleyball, badminton, and boating together. Yes, we have even been known to play touch football on Thanksgiving day as a family. All of our children participated in sports in school. We would go as a family to cheer them on.

Our family, believe it or not, loves to cook together. So for holidays or special occasions, you can find us whipping up something gourmet to feast on and fellowship around. Boys and girls alike join in the fun of cooking together as a family. Lastly, we have Sunday dinner at seven o’clock every week. After cooking together, eating together, talking together, we may be found playing a game together, or even teaching the children how to play bridge. If we get bored, there is always the Wii or the Nintendo to entertain us. What happens if there is a Georgia vs. Florida game? Of course, all life stops and all Mongans are glued to the TV.

Now what is family fun to you? If you haven’t been able to get some “GOOD TIMES” rolling, call a family meeting and put your heads together; put all ideas on the table. Give everyone a chance to share. I’d like to hear from you! What has worked and not worked in your family? Suggestions anyone?

Ellen

Family Vacations

2008-08-13T12:36:00.000-07:00

Dear Moms,

Yesterday we talked about how we have fun as a family weekly. Today, I want to share about how we have fun as a family yearly. Vacations are an important part of our yearly tradition. My husband, Patrick, has always held vacations as a family as an important and necessary event. Even though we had seven children, we went on vacations every summer, including a month-long trip out West with six children! Did I mention two were in diapers? My children pride themselves on the fact that they have been to practically every state in our country. Patrick and I always took a trip or two alone once a year even if it meant bringing the nursing baby. The time alone was well worth the effort it took, even having the baby along. We hardly knew the child was around. I highly recommend yearly romantic getaways for all couples at any age.

Now that almost all of our children are grown, we have established the tradition of a yearly beach trip as a family. Everyone comes--sons, daughters, in-laws, and grandchildren. Patrick pays to rent a six bedroom, four bath house with a pool, and each family is in charge of making one dinner and doing the clean up that day. The family beach trip has been a big success. It truly builds family and makes memories.

Patrick and I have also gone on several vacations with our adult children and their spouses one at a time. It gives us an opportunity to know them as a family and gives us a lot of time with grandchildren.

God has made us in such a way that we need to recharge and take the time to smell the roses. As the Sabbath rest is God's gift to our week, vacations are God's gift to our year. Family vacations give us an opportunity to rest, refresh, recoup, recharge and rediscover how great it is to just waste time together. How great is family! Take the time this year to get away together and treasure the moment. Children truly are a blessing from the Lord.

What are some great family vacations that you have enjoyed? We love to get new ideas of places to go!

Leave a comment or e-mail me,
Ellen

Family Fun Day

2008-08-12T10:59:00.000-07:00

Dear Moms,

Last week, we talked about work, so this week we are going to talk about play. Remember the favorite saying in our home, "All work and no play makes John a dull boy"? The Mongan family works hard, and we play hard. Both activities build family and both activities build character. Since it is summertime, I thought I'd first give a practical solution for family fun. This is taken from a chapter of my book, RECIPES FOR MOTHERHOOD, which you can purchase on our website upon request.

Once a week in the summertime, our family has FAMILY FUN DAY. Fun Day, as it is called, is a day set aside to do some terrific family activity. On this day we aim for minimum work and enjoy maximum pleasure. At the beginning of the summer, we make up a list of desired Fun Day ideas. Then, at the beginning of the week, we pick the activity that we want to do. This Family Fun Day is for family only, rarely are guests asked to participate. Some of the places we have gone and the things we have done are:

1. Go out for ice cream.

2. Play miniature golf.

3. Bowling.

4. The movies.

5. Each child invites a friend over to watch rented DVDS.

6. Go to the park.

7. Go on a picnic.

8. Go to Chuckie Cheese and eat pizza.

9. Out to lunch at McDonald's and play on the playground.

10. Visit Grandma.

11. Go to the beach.

12. Play Nintendo, X-Box or Wii together.

If the activity is short we try to think of other free activities, such as water balloon fights to fill the day with fun. We have a budget and we try to keep to it. Family Fun Day is loved by all. It breaks up the boredom of just going to the pool every day. It is a time to make memories that will hopefully last a lifetime.

As you see, Family Fun Day is a looked-forward-to, treasured activity. But how does it build character you might ask? One way is having to defer to other family members, if your activity is not the one selected for the day, choosing a good attitude, even if you dislike bowling or the DVD selected. It builds character by trying to make the most of the situation, knowing that the important thing is spending time together as a family. Another character lesson is taking turns and waiting patiently as younger siblings learn the skills of miniature golf or even Nintendo. Lastly, being willing to aid in teaching a sibling something you have mastered and they haven't had a clue about, builds both character and family. God can use every life circumstance to teach us character. Mom, it is our job to guide our children into the ways of the Lord whether it be in work or in play. Family Fun Day--try it; you'll like it!

Leave a comment or e-mail your ideas for Family Fun Day!
Ellen

Chores Continued

2008-08-07T13:28:00.000-07:00

Dear Moms,

As you see I am committed to writing on a variety of Motherhood subjects many times a week. So check my website often. Yes, it is a new season, and as God says in His Word, “THERE IS A TIME FOR EVERY SEASON UNDER HEAVEN.“

To continue this week's subject of chores, I want to give a few specifics:

1. In our home, we had five o’clock chores, after diner chores, and Saturday morning chores. This helped our home to run smoothly. Everything was tidy and dinner was served when my husband walked through the door at six o’clock. The dishes were done promptly after eating together as a family. On a good day, the breakfast table was set and ready for all to eat the next morning. Saturday morning was an all-family work party to conquer big projects, like clean out the garage or even Spring Cleaning. Doing chores together built family, as well as character. In order to draw out their gifts, as well as build confidence, the older children were often called upon to teach the younger ones.

2. There are many ways to assign chores. As a young mother , I would write the chores on little slips of paper and let the children pick their chore out of a hat. I thought that they would enjoy their surprise pick. I was wrong. As an older and much wiser Mom, I would list the chores on a piece of paper and have them sign their names to the chore of their choice. Once my list was completed each day, I would yell, "CHORES!" and everyone would come running toward the notebook pads: friends, neighbors, those young and those old alike. Yes, at our home we would not only feed all those who were there at dinner time, but also assign chores to them., Our home was where everyone gathered, and it became a training ground of necessary life skills for all.

3. Additude was everything during chores. Complaining was not acceptable. We were even known to put on Christian music and REJOICE IN THE LORD while working together. Oh how God loves a MERRY HEART, and that needs to be cultivated!

Chores were one of the things God used in my life to make my life go peacefully. What do you think? Leave a comment or ask a question--I would love to hear from you!

Ellen

Paid Jobs

2008-08-05T07:03:00.000-07:00

Dear Moms,
The bible clearly states, “!f you don’t work, you don’t eat.” It‘s in there, believe me. Or, ask my children, because I used to quote it all the time to motivate them. It‘s a great motivator, especially if you
have teenage boys. Look it up in your bible, or e-mail me for the scripture reference. Knowing that not only is the scripture true, but also that it bears good fruit when acted upon, we lived this scripture in our home. Yes, chores were a common word in our home, and we‘ll discuss more on chores at a later date. Today, however, I‘d like to talk about paid jobs. In order to teach my children responsibility, as well as, how to handle finances, I would have a list of paid jobs on the fridge. These jobs would be any thing from washing the car, to babysitting the siblings. After each chore would be the amount they could earn and a place to sign their names. This worked great in our home. If there were no jobs posted and someone needed to make some money, they would even come to me to beg for a paid job. I could always think of something I was willing to pay them to do. What mother of seven couldn‘t! It was a win, win situation; I got needs meet and they were able to make some money to buy what they wanted. Every job was done well with a good heart and a smile on their face because, unlike chores, which were service in our home, these jobs reaped a salary reward. Now that I have grown children, I still hire them when I can to get things done that I can’t do. My daughter, Amanda, at the present time, is making me wedding invitations because my husband and I are renewing our vows in December. My daughter, Charity, bakes cakes for special occasions for me. My son, Josh, has just been hired to paint our home so we can sell it. Each child is using his or her gifts to bless me, and yes, we both reap a reward.

If at all possible, I try to keep it in the family. Why? Because I know I can trust them to do an outstanding job, and if anything goes wrong, I know where their parents live! What do you think, Mom? Any questions? Just ASK ELLEN.

TRULY CHILDREN ARE A BLESSING FROM THE LORD. “BLESSED IS HE WHOSE QUIVER IS FULL.” IN OTHER WORDS, CHILDREN, WHEN RAISED IN AGODLY HOME, WILL BLESS YOU BACK!

Ellen

The C-Word: Chores

2008-08-04T06:43:00.000-07:00

In addition to continuing to post the rest of the alphabet weeks, we will start doing a topic a week, with multiple posts (not necessarily every day). So, if you want to get in on the discussion, please leave a comment! Or, if you just want to read what Ellen and everyone else has to say on the subject of the week, check back often!

This week's topic is Chores:

Dear Moms,
Lets talk about the C-WORD today. C is for chores. In our home we had two sayings…………
1. ALL WORK AND NO PLAY MAKES JOHN A DULL BOY.
2. FIRST WE WORK AND THEN WE PLAY.

Motherhood, as all things in the Christian walk, is a balancing act. We must teach our children how to work hard as well as how to play hard. My theory, as a mom, is once a child has mastered a skill, I would no longer help him in that area. For example, as soon as Tyler could dress himself, it was Tyler’s responsibility to do so. Anything short of that, mom, is enabling. The exception to the rule would be if I was running late to pick up a carpool to school. This problem was easily solved, as I aimed high at always allotting enough time to make the time commitments in my day. This was no easy feat as the mother of seven active children!

Mom, you may say to yourself, ”It’s just so much easier if I just do it myself.“ You know what, YOU ARE RIGHT. However, putting the effort in up front to teach your child basic skills bears great fruit. Most of our children could run the house at age ten in my absence. They were taught to cook, clean , babysit and do the One secret to my success was, I parented with 80% praise and 20% correction. So, if they put the babies diaper on backwards or burned the grilled cheese sandwiches, I’d muster up a smile and give a hug that said, "thank you so much." The result was they’d try harder. Here’s a hint, mom, Nothing stops growth more than discouragement. Don’t take my word for it; try a little experiment. Spend one day correcting your child on everything they try to do. You can call it perfecting or just trying to get them to do it right, if it makes you feel better. Record your results of the day. Now, spend the next day in high praise for your child’s accomplishments, no matter how great and no matter how small. Also record your results. What day was your child more motivated? What day was your child happier? What day were you both more peaceful? Mom, what kind of home do you want to run? One with peace and joy or with discouragement and frustration? Let’s get busy moms. Let's form these children for the Kingdom of God...Let us delight in them as God delights in us when He teaches us a new skill! Let us do it the 1 Cor. 13 way. Make love be your aim, Mom. How about dropping me an e-mail,

Ellen

More on Potty Training

2008-07-26T08:52:00.000-07:00

So how do you make toilet training a positive experience? First off I'm a "potty chair" mom. Toddlers love to have their own little potty. Why you may ask? First off, it is just their size. This seems a little less threatening then something that just flushes a part of yourself away. Secondly, I let the toddler dump their own potty after using it. Don't ask me why, but it is a
thrill to them. I think that it may be a control issue. Of course, they get to flush, over and over again. Oh, I almost forgot, I put the potty chair in the famly room the month before I begin potty training. This way, they get used to it before using it. We may read books with them while sitting on their little chair, or even watch TV on their own little potty chair seat. Yes, introducing the potty experience slowly and positively guarantees potty training success. On the other hand,forcing, threatening, screaming, yelling or hitting a toddler is guaranteed to result in failure. So mom, take a deep breath, block out some quality time, and let the potty training begin. Remember, effort plus prayer will bring forth positive results. Memorize the scripture, "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."

How have you made this a positive experience in your toddler's life? E-mail me moms. I want to know and so do other moms. Thanks for listening.

ASK ELLEN-- I'd love to hear from you!

Dear Moms,

2008-07-26T08:46:00.000-07:00

Let's BRAINSTORM about "Toilet Training". Toilet training not only teaches your child a new skill, but also is used by God to train us mothers for the Kingdom of God. It is God's, way of instilling endless patience, abundance of grace, and not to mention, a sense of humor. To a toddler learning to potty train is like us big people learning a new language. The rules have changed. What was ok before and actually made sense (wetting diapers) is no longer acceptable. Mom, your toddler has no idea why wetting his pants is making you so frustrated; after all, he or she has done this since he arrived.

So what's a mother to do? Introduce this new skill slowly, explain it throughly, proceed with patience, and give rewards. When in doubt err towards love. This is a great time to put 1 Cor. 13 into practice.

Questions, Comments, Ideas?

ASK ELLEN. I'd love to hear from you.

Time-Together Tuesday - S-Week

2008-07-08T05:40:00.000-07:00

1. Snowman--Cut a large, medium, and small circle out of white construction paper. Have the children paste them on their favorite colored paper to make a snowman. Give them crayons to make the snowman's hat and face.

2. Shapes--Divide a piece of construction paper into 4 parts. Use a crayon to draw a red circle in one part, a blue square in another, and a purple triangle, and a green rectangle in the remaining parts. Next, cut out the same shapes in the same colors using construction paper. Have your child match up the shapes and paste them in the correct spot.

3. Spring or Summer--Paint a picture of spring or summer. Talk about the seasons.

4. String art--Take a big spoonful of paint and place it in the middle of a piece of construction paper. Fold the paper in half. Open up the paper, and place a string inside, leaving one end out as you fold it back together. Pull the string out, and then open it up to see your string art!

5. Spider--Take a styrofoam cup and turn upside down. Draw a face, and use pipe cleaners to add 8 legs.

Morality Monday - S-Week

2008-07-07T05:03:00.000-07:00

"Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first must be servant of all. For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many" (Mark 10:43-45)

Talk about being a servant this week. What can you do to serve your family? What can you do to serve your friends? The church? Come up with a special way to serve someone as a family this week. Maybe you could bring a meal to a family who is going through a hard time, or offer to help clean someone's house who is overwhelmed. If your children see you serving, they will also learn to serve, so be a good example!

Fun-Time Friday - R-Week

2008-07-07T04:57:00.000-07:00

1. Red Light-Green Light--Learn to play a new game: One person is "it". He or she stands at one end of the room, while everyone else stands at the opposite end. The person who is "it" stand with his back to everyone else and says, "green light." The other players run and try to tag him before he turns around and says, "red light." On "red light," the other players must freeze. The first person to tag the person who "it" becomes the new red light-green light person!

2. Record player--Pull out your old record player and listen to some records!

3. What to eat or drink--Roast beef or pork, Rice (try it with chopsticks!), Raisins, Root beer Float

Talk-About-It Thursday - R-Week

2008-07-07T04:55:00.000-07:00

As mentioned before, Try-It-Out Thursday will now be Talk-About-It Thursday. Each week, Ellen will either answer questions submitted by readers in the comments, or she will present a parenting topic, along with some advice. Then, readers can add their own input on the topic in the comments section. Since we didn't receive any questions for the week, we will begin this feature next Thursday!

Where-are-We-Going Wednesday - R-Week

2008-07-07T04:52:00.000-07:00

1. Ride--Take a ride on a bus or train or bike or plane.

2. Restaurant--Eat at your favorite one!

3. Row Boat--Have dad take the family out on a row boat.

4. Ranch--Visit a ranch near your home. There are many different kinds: ostrich, buffalo, llama, cattle, and more!

Time-Together Tuesday - R-Week

2008-07-07T04:47:00.001-07:00

1. Rabbit Ears--Cut the shape of two rabbit ears out of construction paper. Cut a strip measured to the size of your child's head and paste the ends together. Tape the rabbit ears to the strip and place on your child's head...Hop...hop...hop!

2. Rainbow--Take red, orange, yellow, green, blue, and purple construction paper or crayons and make a rainbow. Use cotton on either end for clouds. Attach by string to a hanger and you have a rainbow mobile for your child's room!

3. Red--Take red construction paper, and cut out shapes in different sizes. Paste the shapes on white construction paper. Make a picture; be creative!

4. Rain--Play in the rain, or if it's not raining, pretend!

5. Riding Toys--Take them outside and play on them or have a race!

We're Back! And an Annoucement

2008-06-30T06:47:00.000-07:00

So, we took a little blogging break to reorganize and go on vacation, but we hope some of you are still checking the site! We would like to make this a more interactive blog, so we're starting a new section on Thursdays. Every Monday, we will ask for our readers to give us their parenting questions/dilemmas, and on Thursday, Ellen will answer them. We will also ask for readers to add their own insight in the comments section. So, if you have any current parenting struggles, please leave a question in the comments section of this post!

Morality Monday - R-Week

2008-06-30T06:38:00.000-07:00

"This is what the Sovereign LORD, the Holy One of Israel, says: 'In repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength,'" (Isaiah 30:15)

Repentance--Explain the meaning of repentance to your children. We all must turn from sin and turn towards God. Take some time to repent during your daily prayer time together (i.e. what have you done that you need to ask God's forgiveness for?) and reinforce it throughout the day by having your children apologize when they hurt someone. I always have my 20-month-old say she is "sorry" and give the child she hurt a hug or gentle pat. This helps her understand that she hurt someone else with her actions and reminds her of how she should treat others.

Fun-time Friday - Q-Week

2008-06-30T06:33:00.000-07:00

1. Quiet Game--The leader thinks of gestures and everyone follows, but no sounds are made (i.e. wiggling fingers, scratching head, touching nose, etc.). Now, choose a new leader.

2. Queen Esther--Read the story of Queen Esther in the Bible. How was her obedience rewarded?

3. Quarter--What is it? How many pennies make a quarter? How about nickels?

4. Make a special drink with Nestle Quick.

4. Eat Quaker Oatmeal.

Try-it-Out Thursday--Q Week

2008-06-30T06:18:00.000-07:00

1. Melissa and Doug Queen Puppet--Put on a puppet show about queens and kings!

2. 20 Questions--Try to stump the game!

Where Do We Go Wednesday - Q Week

2008-04-30T13:33:00.000-07:00

Go to Dairy Queen today and eat a blizzard.
Go to the Library or Church and practice being quiet and using your quiet voice.
Go to the lake or park and look for ducks that say, "Quack, Quack

Time Together Tuesday - Q Week

2008-04-29T13:30:00.000-07:00

Quail - Click here to color pictures of quail. http://images.google.com/images?sourceid=navclient&ie=UTF-8&rlz=1T4RNWO_en___US225&q=quail++coloring+pictures&um=1
Queen - Talk about being a queen. Make a crown out of construction paper. Staple it together. You can use some tin foil to make it shiny or even put gems on it. Make a robe with a sheet that you have at home.
Quilt - If you can sew, cut out pieces of material and have your children color them or draw pictures on it and then sew them together into a quilt. If you have some one who is sick, you can make them a quilt to make them feel better. When my grandparents were being treated for cancer, we had a quilt with our pictures on them and they loved to bring them to their treatments.

Morality Monday Q is for Quiet

2008-04-28T13:58:00.000-07:00

This week teach your children that there are times to be quiet and times to be loud. In church we show reverence to God by being quiet. See if your children can think of other places or times when it is good to be quiet. Teach them the old saying, "If you can't say something nice, then say nothing at all." There are times we want to say mean things but it's best to hold it in to prevent hurt feelings or regret for saying the wrong thing. Sometimes we need to be quiet so we can simply listen to others.

Job 6:24 NIV
"Teach me, and I will be quiet; show me where I have been wrong.

Where Do We Go Wednesday - P Week

2008-04-23T17:55:00.000-07:00

Park - Go to the park and enjoy the nice weather.
Picnic - Have a picnic at the park
Pizza Parlor - Go to lunch at a pizza place and talk about how pizza is made.
Piano - Listen to someone play the piano or try to play it yourself

Time Together Tuesday - P Week

2008-04-22T17:49:00.000-07:00

Painting - There are many kinds of paintings, finger painting, water color, string. Explore the different kinds and see which one your child likes. You can even use shaving cream and paint in the bath tub. Or you can use colored pudding to paint with and eat it when your done.
Play dough - Play with play dough or make your own.
Purple - Take purple construction paper and cut out different shapes and sizes and then paste them on white construction paper.
People - Go through your magazine. Cut pieces of people on construction paper. Talk about what they are doing in the photos.
Puppet - Take a small brown lunch bag and make a puppet. You can color the bags or paste things on them.

Morality Monday - P Week

2008-04-21T11:59:00.000-07:00

This week we need to focus on patience. Patience is a fruit of the Spirit. Think of ways to be patient this week. Anytime you feel like your patience is being tested it may be that God is helping you work on this. Sing a song that my mother taught me. I don't know who wrote it but it goes like this, "Have patience, have patience, don't be in such a hurry."

Here's a scripture to help us think about patience.

Colossians 1:11 NIV
"being strengthened with all power according to his glorious might so that you may have great endurance and patience, and joyfully "

Time Together Tuesday - O Week

2008-04-15T04:57:00.000-07:00

One - Take a piece of construction paper and write the number one on the top. Give your children a few shapes and have them paste one shape under the letter one.

Orange - Take orange construction paper and cut out different shapes, paste the shapes onto a piece of white construction paper. Make some designs, be creative. You can also ask your children if they know of anything that is orange and write it down.

Owl - Color a picture of an owl and talk about them and what sound an owl makes also here are some pictures and other crafts to do: http://www.first-school.ws/theme/animals/birds/owl.htm

Ostrich - Color a picture of ostrich and talk about them http://www.first-school.ws/t/cpostrich.htm

Otter - Talk about an otter and color a picture: http://www.first-school.ws/t/cpotter.htm

Morality Monday - O is for Obey

2008-04-14T04:50:00.000-07:00

Focus on obedience this week. I know it's hard to get your children to obey but explain to them that God wants us to obey our parents as well as His will. I have been struggling with my 4 year old on obedience so what we did is we filled a jar full of balls and if he fills up the jar, he can do something special like play computer or go buy a toy. If he disobeys, he has to remove a jar from the bin. This has really been working for us! Do you have any ideas on disapline? Please put them in the comments, I would love to hear some new ideas.
Here's a scripture to read to your children:

Leviticus 18:4 NIV
"You must obey my laws and be careful to follow my decrees. I am the LORD your God. "

Where Do We Go Wednesday - N Week

2008-04-09T00:37:00.000-07:00

Newspaper - Go visit your local newspaper and ask them for a tour.

Nursery - Visit a flower or plant nursery and look at all the different types of flowers.

Nature Hike - Go on a nature hike and bring a bag with you and see what different items you can collect. Rocks, pine cones, flowers, etc.

New York - If you can, plan a trip to New York city. Or go to the state of New York and see Niagra Falls. If you can't make it, print off pictures of the falls and discuss it with your children.

Time Together Tuesday - N Week

2008-04-08T06:45:00.000-07:00

Newspaper - Look through the newspaper and cut out pictures and words. Make a collage on construction paper. Glue pictures and words on the page
Nature - Collect things from nature. Leaves, acorns, twigs, flowers. Take a piece of construction paper and paste them on the page. Make a pretty picture.
Necklace - Ge macaroni and color it. Take a twelve inch piece of yard. Tie ends together. You have a necklace.
Nine - Take a piece of construction paper. Write the number nine on top. Give the children nine shapes that you have cut out and have them paste the shapes under the number nine.
Nodosaurus (dinosaur) - click here to color some animals that begin with the letter N http://www.first-school.ws/theme/animals/alphabet/letter-n.htm

Morality Monday - N is for Needy

2008-04-07T06:40:00.000-07:00

Talk to your children about being other people in need. Have them write down their own ideas of how to be take care of others in need. God wants us to take care of those in need. It may be monitary needs, physical needs or spiritual needs Here's the scripture of the week:

Deuteronomy 15:11 NIV
There will always be poor people in the land. Therefore I command you to be openhanded toward your brothers and toward the poor and needy in your land.

Try It Out Thurday - M Week

2008-04-03T07:38:00.000-07:00

Books to Read:

Five Little Monkeys Jumping on the Bed Big Book (Paperback)by Eileen Christelow (Author)

Just Mom and Me Having Tea: A Fun Bible Study for Mothers and Daughters (Paperback)by Mary J. Murray (Author)

Just Me and My Mom (A Little Critter Book) (Paperback)by Mercer Mayer (Illustrator)

Products To Try:

Melissa & Doug USA Map 51-Piece Floor Puzzle

Melissa and Doug Mailbox and Mail Set

Moby Wrap Baby Carrier

Where Do We Go Wednesday - M Week

2008-04-02T17:56:00.000-07:00

Mail - Go visit the post office. Ask for a tour. Mail a letter.
Museum - Go to a museum near you or take a day trip to one in another town.
Movies - Go to see a movie together or rent a video
Music - Go to a music store or listen to music. Go to a concert

Time Together Tuesday - M Week

2008-04-01T06:31:00.001-07:00

Me - Use water colors to paint a picture of yourself.
Mother's Card - Mother's day will soon be approaching. Have your children make a special card for mom. Be creative. Take a picture of your child and let them decorate it. You can also do this for a grandmother. One the front of the card write, "I". Then paste child's picture under the "I". Under the picture write, "Love", Open the card and write, "Mom" and paste Mom's picture under it.
Mobile - Cut out shapes or desired pictures out of construction paper. Tie a string through the construction paper. Attach another end of the string to the hanger and attach as many as you like.
Monkey - Print out pictures of monkeys and color them. http://images.google.com/images?hl=en&q=monkey+coloring&um=1&ie=UTF-8

Morality Monday--M is for Maturity

2008-03-31T12:45:00.000-07:00

"The seed that fell among thorns stands for those who hear, but as they go on their way they are choked by life's worries, riches and pleasures, and they do not mature." (Luke 8:14)

"But solid food is for the mature, who by constant use have trained themselves to distinguish good from evil." (Hebrews 5:14)

"Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." (James 1:4)

This week focus on maturing spiritually. We do not want to be like the seed that fell among thorns and did not mature, but instead, we should strive to be as the Scriptures from Hebrews and James describe: mature enough to distinguish good from evil and to persevere in choosing good. This may be a hard concept to explain to young children, so use the Scripture from Luke as an inspiration and "show" them what it means. Plant 3 seeds (one in a cup with only rocks, one in a cup with thorns, and one in good soil), and watch which ones grow. Explain why the the first two plants did not grow and how we want our lives to be like the plant in good soil.

Where Do We Go Wednesday - L Week

2008-03-26T11:12:00.000-07:00

Library: Go to the library and check out some books or movies. See if your library has story time. My younger son and I go to story time every Wednesday and listen to music and read a book. He loves it.

Lemonade: Make a lemonade and a lemonade stand and sell some in your front yard.

Lake: Go spend the day at the lake and play in the water or go on a boat.

Time Together Tuesday - L Week

2008-03-25T05:46:00.000-07:00

Leaves - Go outside and get as many pretty leaves as you want. Take leaves and past them on construction paper. Make a pretty picture with your leaves or place them on wax paper and cover with another sheet of eax paper and iron the leaves on the paper.
Lions - Color pictures of lions or make a lion out of construction paper. Click here for some pictures: http://www.coloring.ws/lions.htm
Light - Make a homade candle - get a craft kit from a craft store and make your own candle to be the light this week.
Lamb - Make Lambs on construction paper. You can use cotton balls and glue them to the piece of paper. http://www.lucylearns.com/lamb-coloring-page.html
Ladybugs - Draw ladybugs or color them as well: http://www.coloring.ws/ladybugs1.htm

Morality Monday - L is for Light

2008-03-24T05:39:00.000-07:00

This week focus on the word Light. Explain to your children how they light up your world. Light is a good thing and brings an inner peace to us all. Jesus lights up our world and ask your children to think of ways that can happen. Also, ask your children to think of ways to make our light shine to others.

You can also light a candle each day and sing

This little light of mine, I'm gonna let it shine

This little light of mine, I'm gonna let it shine

Let it shine,Let it shine, Let it shine.

Hide it under a bushel? No!

I'm gonna let it shine

Hide it under a bushel? No!

I'm gonna let it shine

Hide it under a bushel? No!

I'm gonna let it shine

Let it shine,Let it shine,Let it shine.

This little light of mine, I'm gonna let it shine

Let it shine,Let it shine,Let it shine.

Don't let Satan blow it out,

I'm gonna let it shine

Don't let Satan blow it out,I'm gonna let it shine

Let it shine,Let it shine,Let it shine.

This little light of mine,

I'm gonna let it shine

This little light of mine,I'm gonna let it shine

Let it shine,Let it shine,Let it shine.

Shine all over [name of town],

I'm gonna let it shine

Shine all over [name of town],

I'm gonna let it shine

Shine all over [name of town],

I'm gonna let it shine

Let it shine,Let it shine,Let it shine.

This little light of mine,I'm gonna let it shine

Let it shine,Let it shine,Let it shine.

Let it shine til Jesus comes,I'm gonna let it shine

Let it shine,Let it shine,Let it shine.

This little light of mine,I'm gonna let it shine

Let it shine,Let it shine,Let it shine.

Once your done with the song, let your child blow out the candle. They will love it.

Read this Bible verse to your children:
Matthew 5:14
"You are the light of the world."

Fun Time Together Friday - Easter Weekend

2008-03-21T11:19:00.000-07:00

Since it's Easter this Sunday, we wanted to give you some ideas of things to do to celebrate this special holiday. First of all, talk to your children about the true meaning of Easter. What does Easter mean to them? Easter is a celebration of Jesus raising from the dead on the third day. It is a new life for all Christians so we can rejoice in the Lord. We must remember that we can be saved because Jesus died on the cross for our sins. Explain this to your children so they can understand the true importance of this holiday. Of course it's fun to talk about the Easter bunny and egg hunts but it's good to give your children the religous side to this holiday as well. We hope you all have a wonderful Easter weekend.

Here's a link with some fun things to do for Easter and some great info on the Holiday:
http://www.kiddyhouse.com/Holidays/Easter/

Here are some games to do for Easter:

Easter Egg Hunt - This is the classic, you hide the eggs and the children find it. My kids love it. You can put money, candy, stickers and what ever you want in the eggs. The kids will have a blast.
Egg Memory - Take several eggs and fill them with different items, jelly beans, m&m's, what ever you want but make sure there are only two eggs filled with the same thing. Place them around the floor and have the children take turns picking two eggs, if they have a match, they win.
Egg Leap Frog - One player has an egg and places it on the ground then hops over the person in front of them and that person picks up the egg off the ground. They keep taking turns.
Egg Spoon race - Place the egg on a spoon and try to make it past the line without loosing your egg. Who ever has the whole egg in the end and the fastest time wins.
Egg Toss - Throw an egg to your partner and which ever pair has their egg in tact at the end wins.

One other cute idea is to set out jelly beans and have your children eat them while you read the following poem found on annieshomepage.com:

The NEW Jelly Bean Prayer

Red is for the blood He gave,

Green is for the grass He made,

Yellow is for the sun so bright,

Orange is for the edge of night.

Black, white, brown, yellow and red is for the children He made

All of these colors receive the grace He gave,

Purple is for the hour of sorrow,

Pink is for the new tomorrow.

Give a bag full of jelly beans,

Colorful and sweet,

Tell them it's a Prayer....

It's a promise..

It's an Easter Treat!

~~Written by Charlene Dickson~~

Scripture of the week: Jesus answered and said unto him, Verily, verily, I say unto thee, Except a man be born again, he cannot see the kingdom of God. John 3:3

Try It out Thursday - K Week

2008-03-21T11:04:00.000-07:00

Books to Read:

K Is For Kissing A Cool Kangaroo (Hardcover)by Giles Andreae (Author), Guy Parker-Rees (Illustrator)

Let's Fly a Kite (MathStart 2) (Paperback)by Stuart J. Murphy (Author), Brian Floca (Illustrator)

Three Little Kittens (Jellybean Books(R)) (Hardcover)by L Obligado De Vajay (Author)

Products to Try:

Disney Winnie the Pooh 10" Roo Plush Doll

Kid K'nex Lots of Pals- 115 pcs

Fantasy Nylon Kites: 3D Butterfly by X-Kites

Where Do We Go Wednesday - K Week

2008-03-19T12:07:00.000-07:00

Kitten - Go visit a kitten. Go to a pet store or humane society. There are lots of kittens to see and if you are looking for one, maybe you can adopt one.
Kitchen - What is a kitchen? Explore your kitchen and see what you can make.
Kite - Go to a park and fly a kite.
Kick Ball - Learn how to play the game and go play with some friends

Time Together Tuesday - K Week

2008-03-18T18:23:00.000-07:00

Here are some activities to do with your children this K week.

Kite - Make a kite. Use your imagination and construction paper. Cut out the shape of kite and have the children decorate it. Tie a string to the end and fly the kite.
King - Make a crown out of large grocery bags. Cut zig zag edges. The crown should be the size of you child's heard. Tape or staple the ends together. Color and decorate with crayons, sequins, glitter and glue.
Kleenex - Make pictures using Kleenex. Paste Kleenex on construction paper. Be creative.
Knights - Make swords out of construction paper and shields too. Use your imagination.

Morality Monday - K is for Kindness

2008-03-17T19:52:00.000-07:00

Try to work on kindness this week with your children. See if they can think of a kind word to say or a kind deed to perform.

Job 10:12 NIV
You gave me life and showed me kindness, and in your providence watched over my spirit.

God is kind and wants us to show kindness to others. Have fun making others happy by doing a kind deed.

Where Do We Go Wednesday - J Week

2008-03-12T18:03:00.000-07:00

Jungle - Pretend you are going on a jungle safari. What animals do you see? Or you can go to the zoo and pick out what animals you would see at the jungle.
Jobs - Go to mommy and daddy's work and see what they do for a job
Jewlery Store - Go look at the pretty jewlery and ask for a tour.
Jewish Temple - Take your children to the Jewish temple and have them understand what it means to be Jewish. Jesus was a Jew/

Time Together Tuesday - J Week

2008-03-11T17:55:00.000-07:00

Jack -O-Lantern - Cut out shapes of pumpkin with orange constuction paper. With black construction paper. Cut out eyes, nose and mouth. Have children paste them on their Jack-O-Lantern.
Jobs - Cut out pictures of people doing different jobs from a magazine. Have children make a collage of different jobs. Paste pictures on construction paper.
Jesus - Draw a picture of what Jesus looks like
Jingle Bells - Use them to make a tambourine. Take two paper plates and glue them together or staple them. Punch eight holes around the plate. Thread yarn in first hole and tie knot. Now, thread jingle bell and tie the knot again. Go to next hoe and do the same. Repeat at each hole.