Work and Play

Dear Moms,

Sometimes in our family, we are able to mix work and play. When you may ask? That would be in the case of a family member's move, the birth of a baby, or even an injury or an illness. When my father-in-law was dying, this became a reality. It was Easter Week and all the children were home, along with my husband's brother from Germany. We held Easter dinner at our home. Tarolyn, my daughter, brought the bouncy house; I bought eggs to color. The volleyball net was set up in the backyard, and there was a horse shoe game available. On the play side everyone joined in the fun. Now, for the work part--everyone took turns caring for Grandpa; all the adults prepared the meal (remember we are a cooking family), and of course, everyone cleaned up together. Never before was I more delighted to have a large, close family bond. Tears can come to my eyes as I can still picture my son Joshua carrying his grandpa on his back to the bathroom, so grandpa didn't have to wear diapers. That, my friend, is agape love in action. Grandpa died the very next day with his daughters-in-law and sons by his side, praying for his soul, holding his hands, and ushering him in before the throne of God in Heaven.

When we moved to our new home, leaving behind the house that our children grew up in, it was all hands on deck. Married children even came from out-of-town to lend a hand. It was quite a work party. We laughed and made a memory that will last a lifetime. All I can say is, "It was a lot of work." That is one sentence my entire family will agree on. One son-in-law had a brilliant idea that had to come from the heart of God. What was it, you may ask? It was, "NEXT TIME, LET'S HIRE A MOVER!" That was the second thing we all agreed upon on that move. We served beer and had food throughout the day and threw a pizza party at the end of the day and celebrated. Yes, we ate, drank, and I can tell you, we very merry. Pulling together for a common goal and making the work fun makes it all worthwhile.

Lastly, when a baby is to be born or a wedding to be planned, it is a time of celebration for the Mongan family. There are showers to plan, advice to be shared, and of course, maternity clothes and baby clothes to be passed down. Getting ready for a birth or the Sacrament of matrimony is a labor of love that everyone enjoys being a part of. Charity, my daughter, has been known to arrange the flowers with her home business, FORGET ME Knots, or even host the occasion at her restaurant AROMA'S. My daughter, Amanda, has an invitation business. She is always more than willing to do wedding invitations or baby shower invites. Yes, many hands make light work and we have a lot of fun along the way.

So be creative; let the Lord lead your family to make every day a memory, whether work or play. Always remember, "The joy of the Lord is your strength." Never forget, "If you don't work, you don't eat."

Ellen Mongan

More Family Fun

Dear Moms,

Every family is different. That’s a good thing, by the way. So part of having family fun is finding out what is sure to be a “GOOD TIME” to your family members. Then, individually design the day to make the most people happy, always keeping in mind that “YOU CAN PLEASE SOME OF THE PEOPLE SOME OF THE TIME, BUT YOU CAN'T PLEASE ALL THE PEOPLE ALL THE TIME.” Sometimes, the greater blessing goes to the person who is making the sacrifice of doing an activity that they dislike to build family. All family members will take a turn, taking one for the team. ALL for one and one for all!

My husband, for example, is not a beach lover , yet he rents the family a beach house every year. What does he do while we are all enjoying fun in the sun and swimming in the pool? He is busy doing his yearly puzzle. Don’t feel sorry for him; there are many family members who help him, and it provides great “DAD and Me” time on the beach trip.

Our family is a very physical family. That means that when we get together and are not watching football on the big screen, we are participating in a family sport. We enjoy volleyball, badminton, and boating together. Yes, we have even been known to play touch football on Thanksgiving day as a family. All of our children participated in sports in school. We would go as a family to cheer them on.

Our family, believe it or not, loves to cook together. So for holidays or special occasions, you can find us whipping up something gourmet to feast on and fellowship around. Boys and girls alike join in the fun of cooking together as a family. Lastly, we have Sunday dinner at seven o’clock every week. After cooking together, eating together, talking together, we may be found playing a game together, or even teaching the children how to play bridge. If we get bored, there is always the Wii or the Nintendo to entertain us. What happens if there is a Georgia vs. Florida game? Of course, all life stops and all Mongans are glued to the TV.

Now what is family fun to you? If you haven’t been able to get some “GOOD TIMES” rolling, call a family meeting and put your heads together; put all ideas on the table. Give everyone a chance to share. I’d like to hear from you! What has worked and not worked in your family? Suggestions anyone?

Ellen

Family Vacations

Dear Moms,

Yesterday we talked about how we have fun as a family weekly. Today, I want to share about how we have fun as a family yearly. Vacations are an important part of our yearly tradition. My husband, Patrick, has always held vacations as a family as an important and necessary event. Even though we had seven children, we went on vacations every summer, including a month-long trip out West with six children! Did I mention two were in diapers? My children pride themselves on the fact that they have been to practically every state in our country. Patrick and I always took a trip or two alone once a year even if it meant bringing the nursing baby. The time alone was well worth the effort it took, even having the baby along. We hardly knew the child was around. I highly recommend yearly romantic getaways for all couples at any age.

Now that almost all of our children are grown, we have established the tradition of a yearly beach trip as a family. Everyone comes--sons, daughters, in-laws, and grandchildren. Patrick pays to rent a six bedroom, four bath house with a pool, and each family is in charge of making one dinner and doing the clean up that day. The family beach trip has been a big success. It truly builds family and makes memories.

Patrick and I have also gone on several vacations with our adult children and their spouses one at a time. It gives us an opportunity to know them as a family and gives us a lot of time with grandchildren.

God has made us in such a way that we need to recharge and take the time to smell the roses. As the Sabbath rest is God's gift to our week, vacations are God's gift to our year. Family vacations give us an opportunity to rest, refresh, recoup, recharge and rediscover how great it is to just waste time together. How great is family! Take the time this year to get away together and treasure the moment. Children truly are a blessing from the Lord.

What are some great family vacations that you have enjoyed? We love to get new ideas of places to go!

Leave a comment or e-mail me,
Ellen

Family Fun Day

Dear Moms,

Last week, we talked about work, so this week we are going to talk about play. Remember the favorite saying in our home, "All work and no play makes John a dull boy"? The Mongan family works hard, and we play hard. Both activities build family and both activities build character. Since it is summertime, I thought I'd first give a practical solution for family fun. This is taken from a chapter of my book, RECIPES FOR MOTHERHOOD, which you can purchase on our website upon request.

Once a week in the summertime, our family has FAMILY FUN DAY. Fun Day, as it is called, is a day set aside to do some terrific family activity. On this day we aim for minimum work and enjoy maximum pleasure. At the beginning of the summer, we make up a list of desired Fun Day ideas. Then, at the beginning of the week, we pick the activity that we want to do. This Family Fun Day is for family only, rarely are guests asked to participate. Some of the places we have gone and the things we have done are:

1. Go out for ice cream.

2. Play miniature golf.

3. Bowling.

4. The movies.

5. Each child invites a friend over to watch rented DVDS.

6. Go to the park.

7. Go on a picnic.

8. Go to Chuckie Cheese and eat pizza.

9. Out to lunch at McDonald's and play on the playground.

10. Visit Grandma.

11. Go to the beach.

12. Play Nintendo, X-Box or Wii together.

If the activity is short we try to think of other free activities, such as water balloon fights to fill the day with fun. We have a budget and we try to keep to it. Family Fun Day is loved by all. It breaks up the boredom of just going to the pool every day. It is a time to make memories that will hopefully last a lifetime.

As you see, Family Fun Day is a looked-forward-to, treasured activity. But how does it build character you might ask? One way is having to defer to other family members, if your activity is not the one selected for the day, choosing a good attitude, even if you dislike bowling or the DVD selected. It builds character by trying to make the most of the situation, knowing that the important thing is spending time together as a family. Another character lesson is taking turns and waiting patiently as younger siblings learn the skills of miniature golf or even Nintendo. Lastly, being willing to aid in teaching a sibling something you have mastered and they haven't had a clue about, builds both character and family. God can use every life circumstance to teach us character. Mom, it is our job to guide our children into the ways of the Lord whether it be in work or in play. Family Fun Day--try it; you'll like it!

Leave a comment or e-mail your ideas for Family Fun Day!
Ellen

Chores Continued

Dear Moms,

As you see I am committed to writing on a variety of Motherhood subjects many times a week. So check my website often. Yes, it is a new season, and as God says in His Word, “THERE IS A TIME FOR EVERY SEASON UNDER HEAVEN.“

To continue this week's subject of chores, I want to give a few specifics:

1. In our home, we had five o’clock chores, after diner chores, and Saturday morning chores. This helped our home to run smoothly. Everything was tidy and dinner was served when my husband walked through the door at six o’clock. The dishes were done promptly after eating together as a family. On a good day, the breakfast table was set and ready for all to eat the next morning. Saturday morning was an all-family work party to conquer big projects, like clean out the garage or even Spring Cleaning. Doing chores together built family, as well as character. In order to draw out their gifts, as well as build confidence, the older children were often called upon to teach the younger ones.

2. There are many ways to assign chores. As a young mother , I would write the chores on little slips of paper and let the children pick their chore out of a hat. I thought that they would enjoy their surprise pick. I was wrong. As an older and much wiser Mom, I would list the chores on a piece of paper and have them sign their names to the chore of their choice. Once my list was completed each day, I would yell, "CHORES!" and everyone would come running toward the notebook pads: friends, neighbors, those young and those old alike. Yes, at our home we would not only feed all those who were there at dinner time, but also assign chores to them., Our home was where everyone gathered, and it became a training ground of necessary life skills for all.

3. Additude was everything during chores. Complaining was not acceptable. We were even known to put on Christian music and REJOICE IN THE LORD while working together. Oh how God loves a MERRY HEART, and that needs to be cultivated!

Chores were one of the things God used in my life to make my life go peacefully. What do you think? Leave a comment or ask a question--I would love to hear from you!

Ellen

Paid Jobs

Dear Moms,
The bible clearly states, “!f you don’t work, you don’t eat.” It‘s in there, believe me. Or, ask my children, because I used to quote it all the time to motivate them. It‘s a great motivator, especially if you
have teenage boys. Look it up in your bible, or e-mail me for the scripture reference. Knowing that not only is the scripture true, but also that it bears good fruit when acted upon, we lived this scripture in our home. Yes, chores were a common word in our home, and we‘ll discuss more on chores at a later date. Today, however, I‘d like to talk about paid jobs. In order to teach my children responsibility, as well as, how to handle finances, I would have a list of paid jobs on the fridge. These jobs would be any thing from washing the car, to babysitting the siblings. After each chore would be the amount they could earn and a place to sign their names. This worked great in our home. If there were no jobs posted and someone needed to make some money, they would even come to me to beg for a paid job. I could always think of something I was willing to pay them to do. What mother of seven couldn‘t! It was a win, win situation; I got needs meet and they were able to make some money to buy what they wanted. Every job was done well with a good heart and a smile on their face because, unlike chores, which were service in our home, these jobs reaped a salary reward. Now that I have grown children, I still hire them when I can to get things done that I can’t do. My daughter, Amanda, at the present time, is making me wedding invitations because my husband and I are renewing our vows in December. My daughter, Charity, bakes cakes for special occasions for me. My son, Josh, has just been hired to paint our home so we can sell it. Each child is using his or her gifts to bless me, and yes, we both reap a reward.

If at all possible, I try to keep it in the family. Why? Because I know I can trust them to do an outstanding job, and if anything goes wrong, I know where their parents live! What do you think, Mom? Any questions? Just ASK ELLEN.

TRULY CHILDREN ARE A BLESSING FROM THE LORD. “BLESSED IS HE WHOSE QUIVER IS FULL.” IN OTHER WORDS, CHILDREN, WHEN RAISED IN AGODLY HOME, WILL BLESS YOU BACK!

Ellen

The C-Word: Chores

In addition to continuing to post the rest of the alphabet weeks, we will start doing a topic a week, with multiple posts (not necessarily every day). So, if you want to get in on the discussion, please leave a comment! Or, if you just want to read what Ellen and everyone else has to say on the subject of the week, check back often!

This week's topic is Chores:

Dear Moms,
Lets talk about the C-WORD today. C is for chores. In our home we had two sayings…………
1. ALL WORK AND NO PLAY MAKES JOHN A DULL BOY.
2. FIRST WE WORK AND THEN WE PLAY.

Motherhood, as all things in the Christian walk, is a balancing act. We must teach our children how to work hard as well as how to play hard. My theory, as a mom, is once a child has mastered a skill, I would no longer help him in that area. For example, as soon as Tyler could dress himself, it was Tyler’s responsibility to do so. Anything short of that, mom, is enabling. The exception to the rule would be if I was running late to pick up a carpool to school. This problem was easily solved, as I aimed high at always allotting enough time to make the time commitments in my day. This was no easy feat as the mother of seven active children!

Mom, you may say to yourself, ”It’s just so much easier if I just do it myself.“ You know what, YOU ARE RIGHT. However, putting the effort in up front to teach your child basic skills bears great fruit. Most of our children could run the house at age ten in my absence. They were taught to cook, clean , babysit and do the One secret to my success was, I parented with 80% praise and 20% correction. So, if they put the babies diaper on backwards or burned the grilled cheese sandwiches, I’d muster up a smile and give a hug that said, "thank you so much." The result was they’d try harder. Here’s a hint, mom, Nothing stops growth more than discouragement. Don’t take my word for it; try a little experiment. Spend one day correcting your child on everything they try to do. You can call it perfecting or just trying to get them to do it right, if it makes you feel better. Record your results of the day. Now, spend the next day in high praise for your child’s accomplishments, no matter how great and no matter how small. Also record your results. What day was your child more motivated? What day was your child happier? What day were you both more peaceful? Mom, what kind of home do you want to run? One with peace and joy or with discouragement and frustration? Let’s get busy moms. Let's form these children for the Kingdom of God...Let us delight in them as God delights in us when He teaches us a new skill! Let us do it the 1 Cor. 13 way. Make love be your aim, Mom. How about dropping me an e-mail,

Ellen