C is for Control

Dear Moms,

The next key word is control, as in self control. Self control is a fruit of the Spirit. Never is this fruit more needed than when a person becomes a mother. You will use that fruit daily, I will promise you. I remember the day the Lord began to teach me the fruit of self control, like it was only yesterday. I was in the produce department of our Publix’s Grocery Store. Out of the blue, the Holy Spirit quickened to me, “I’m going to give you the fruit of Self Control.” I was ecstatic; it was a fruit that I needed desperately because I had so little of it. Then the Holy Spirit continued, in his still small voice.” You don’t understand, I’m going to give you the fruit of self control, like I gave you the fruit of Patience. You have to choose it. I will give you many opportunities to do this.” Then I remembered, the gifts of the Spirit are just that, free gifts. The fruits of the Spirit, on the other hand, God has to grow in you as you cooperate with Him and make right choices. Once this fruit is established in your heart, it will help you in all areas of your life.

Now back to self control in discipline. Discipline is lovingly guiding our child in the way of the Lord. We must never respond in anger and lash out at our children. Discipline is not name calling or shouting at your child. Discipline is not beating your child. Discipline is not slapping your child across the face. This is abuse. You must never hurt your child physically, with the exception of a spanking done in the way I explained under disobedience. Remember, never spank in anger. You must never verbally abuse your child. This will wound their spirit. Do you see why the fruit of Self Control is so important to a mother?

If your child does something that causes you to get angry, especially out of control anger, you may need to call a TIME-OUT for yourself. It will give you time to collect your thoughts, get yourself together, and then, handle the discipline situation controlled and calm. This is where self control comes in. You will be tempted to just react. My advice to you is, avoid the temptation and use your self control. Yes, control yourself, because that is self control in action. You’ll be glad you did.

Children are like wet sponges, it has been said. They will soak up everything that is said to them. This will form their self image. Words said in anger can affect them the rest of their lives. Words once said, cannot be taken back. In the same way discipline wrongly administered cannot be erased. So, what is a mother to do? We are human and we all make mistakes. If we lose our temper, we must be humble enough to ask our child’s forgiveness. Then we should pray to God to heal the hurt. This will teach your child that discipline is a loving part of parenting. It will also teach your child how to mend a relationship if they lose their temper.

Remembe,r Mom, your children are watching you. They will do what you. Yes, they are copy cats. They will copy your bad behavior, as well as your good behavior. Pray to God to learn the fruit of SELF CONTROL, so you can pass it on. Be patient with yourself; it will take time. Start today. Vow to be a mature parent who can discipline your child with full control over your flesh. As John the Baptist said about Christ, Jesus, Our Lord, “We must decrease and He must increase.” Then Jesus, himself said, “We must deny our very self and take up our cross and follow me.”

The Passion of Jesus is the ultimate lesson of Self Control. We must be imitators of Christ.

Mom, how do you cope with your anger? How do you practice Self Control?

As always,

Ellen

www.momsbestwisdom.com

S is for Sincerity

Dear Moms,

Have you ever played Poker? Picture your expression when the you are dealt FOUR ACES, right off the bat. Do you smile and spill the beans to the whole poker table? Not a chance!!! What do you do? You use your Poker Face, Mom. A POKER FACE that doesn’t even give a clue of what is behind those cards you are holding…Then you casually BID BIG. That same POKER FACE that you use in that well-loved card game, believe it or not, also comes in handy in disciplining your children. Why? Because Children can be so cute when they are naughty. Let me clarify that, young children. There is nothing funny about a disrespectful, disobedient teenager. I always say that you can’t spoil a child with Love, but you must always train a child with love, as well. You don’t want to raise a SPOILED BRAT. By the time you have a teenager, they should be trained in Godly principles. Teenagers will rebel to some extent, just like a two year old will have Temper Tantrums, but there should be a certain respect there, that they know they can only go so far. Now back to the Poker Face, this is just what you use when your child has done something so funny, yet nonetheless, against the rules of the home. You have no choice but to follow thorugh with the consequences that are given for that wrong action. As a mom, you must look the child right in the eye, yes eye ball to eye ball, and correct them in love. Mom, if you want them to change their behavior, don’t laugh, smile, or give in when you are disciplining. Poker Face your way through it, and don’t let on that you feel they are too cute to punish.

Be Sincere...SINCERE IS OUR NEXT KEY WORD.. MOM, if you say it, you mean it! As scripture says, “ LET YOUR YES BE YES, AND LET YOUR NO BE NO.” Be Firm and, “STICK TO YOUR GUNS.” When I was raising my seven, a very common thing I would say to my pre-schooler or toddler was, “I’m the MOM!” What would they say back? I know you want to know, Mom. They would say back to me in the most grown up voice that they could muster up, “NO, I’M THE MOM.” To which I would say, “ WHO’S IN CHARGE?” They would answer, “I’M IN CHARGE.” They actually thought that they were in charge. They were under five. This is great mom because it gives you the opportunity to let them know who is in charge. Who’s the BOSS?? Mom, Is It Them Or Is It You? The sooner this is established, the more peaceful your parenting experience will be. The later this is established, the HARDER your parenting experience will be. This is your choice, Mom, YOU ARE IN THE DRIVER’S SEAT. Don’t give your keys to the car to your child at too young an age or they will be running you over. In other words, IT IS YOUR HOUSE AND YOUR RULES. This should be understood at two and at teenage years too. YOU’RE THE MOM!!! Parent the child with SINCERITY. Things will go better if you do.

It is much better to have, FEWER RULES AND MUCH MORE CONSISTENCY. If you say it, you mean it or they will get your number very, very quickly, even if they are only ONE YEAR OLD. So mom don’t make Rules for most days when, you are too tired, too sick, or too busy to follow through. IF YOU SAY IT, MOM, YOU MEAN IT!!! Don’ t make rules that you won’t follow through with if they are just too cute. IF YOU SAY IT MOM, YOU MEAN IT. Whatever you do, don’t make a rule that you let them talk you out of, that is just what we Moms call manipulation. . SO WHAT IS A MOTHER TO DO? If you are sick or extra tired or too busy, get extra help to come in, like a friend or relative. If this is not possible, farm the children out or pay someone to watch them. If all else fails, be creative, limit their space, so you can lie on the couch and still keep a good eye on them. Have a special emergency basket of special things to do that are new and different, that you pull out on just these occasions. New and different are the recipe for success here. This will always hold their attention for a longer period of time, than old and familiar. Here’s some Ideas:
1. Stickers or foam stickers
2. New crayons and coloring books
3. Indoor bubbles
4. Play dough and new play dough toys
5. Water Paint or New books to paint that don’t require paint, just water
6. New Books to read together
7. A New Quiet Toy

I just heard a great talk by a father of six children. The main point was SIMPLIFY. He used the words CRAZY BUSY. Our children should rank among the most important things in our lives, next to God and our husbands, of course. Mom, we never should be too CRAZY BUSY to care for them well and to take the time to train them properly. Take an honest look at your life. Where is your time being spent? What are some things you can eliminate so that your children can spend quality time with you?

Mom, to conclude, “SAY WHAT YOU MEAN, AND MEAN WHAT YOU SAY.” Be Sincere. Being a person of your word teaches your child, not only to obey you, but also to trust you. It will also, when given the test of time, teach your child to respect you. Children need limits. They find safety and security in limits. Be Proud, Mom, if you are the mother, who your child says to a friend once you have given a direction, “MY MOM MEANS WHAT SHE SAYS.” It is then that you know in your heart that you have done your job well.

What Do you think, Mom? E-Mail Ellen. I’d Love to hear from you.

www.momsbestwisdom.com

I is for Intelligent Decisions

Dear Moms,

The next key-word is Intelligent Decisions for the letter I of Discipline. As moms, we need to make intelligent decisions daily, sometimes hourly. Motherhood is an on-the-job training career. Why? Because every child is different and every situation is different. Let’s face it, mom, every day is different. They say, “VARIETY IS THE SPICE OF LIFE.” Children have a way of making that cliché a reality in your life. So what’s a mother to do to have the wisdom of Solomon and the heart of the Blessed Mother, Mary?

READ, READ, READ, and learn all you can from the experts about discipline. There are some fabulous Christian authors out there. Here are a few:
1. Dr. James Dobson
2. Dr. Gary Smalley
3.Dr. John Trent
4.Dr. Kevin Leman

Anything written by these four authors, I can highly recommend. I’m sure you have some favorites as well. Let me know your favorites! Read when you are pregnant because it is never too early. Read as you nurse your newborn baby. Mom, never stop reading. As you read, you will begin to form your own philosophy of motherhood, taking a little bit of wisdom from each person. It is very important that you become the unique mom that God created you to be. In fact, all moms should be different because all children are different. When a problem arises, research the issue from a variety of sources, and then decide how you will handle the situation. Think before you act. Use your brain.

Scripture says in Proverbs, “A WISE MAN SEEKS THE COUNSEL OF MANY.” I know that this applies to women as well. So, talk to your spouse first. Make sure you are in unity on every discipline decision. Remember scripture says, “A HOUSE DIVIDEDED AGAINST ITSELF WILL FALL.” Also, talk to other mothers, and talk to your mom. If at all possible, have a spiritual mom as well, to sit at their feet and learn the skills. The happiest and most successful moms are those who are surrounded by a network of caring woman. Of course, all of this should be run by your husband no matter how brilliant it sounds. God has entrusted these children into both of your care. Part of making intelligent decisions is making them together. So, think before you act and learn all you can. Learning the proper parenting skills will help you in many facets of life

The Bible is also an excellent resource for learning how to discipline your child, especially the book of Proverbs. It is amazing how God can direct you to just the right passage, which will give you just the right answer for a daily dilemma that you are facing in disciplining a particular child. It is the LIVING WORD and we have a Personal Savior, that’s why.

God taught me a long time ago that you can’t just pray and do nothing. You also can’t just take matters into your own hands either. In almost every area of life, PRAYER PLUS EFFORT= VICTORY IN JESUS. Let me repeat that. PRAYER PLUS EFFORT= VICTORY IN JESUS. That is tried and true. So, pray as if it all depends on God and act as if it all depends on you. Seek until you find the answer. YOU CAN DO ALL THINGS THROUGH CHRIST WHO STRENGHTENS YOU.

The vocation of Motherhood gives you the opportunity to grow in so many areas. Use all your resources, Books, Wise Counsel, Scripture Study, and Prayer. Then, make an Intelligent Decision.

Do you have a discipline problem that has you stumped? Ask Ellen--I don’t have all the answers, but I may have an answer for your particular problem. E-mail me at www.momsbestwisdom.com.

D is for Danger, Disobedience, and Disrespect

Dear Moms,

For the letter D, the key words are Danger, Disobedience and Disrespect. That’s three words, isn’t it? Three important words, I might add. That is because in our home we only discipline for DANGER, DISOBEDIENCE, AND DISRESPECT. Our rules are clear and few, this avoids confusion for the parent as well as the child. If the rules are obeyed, all live in peace and harmony. If the rules are broken, discipline is administered quickly and as an act of love. This is to encourage the behavior to change in a child, not to hurt the child or wound their spirit. We try to make LOVE OUR AIM, as scripture states.

First off, before I begin, this applies to toddlers and above (a two year old toddler and up).
We never, ever discipline a newborn baby, Mom. A newborn baby needs to be cared for and loved. If you get frustrated with a newborn, guess who needs to be disciplined? YOU DO!!!!!!!!! You need to call a Time Out for yourself and call someone over to watch the baby. At the age of one and up, once a baby is mobile, they should be disciplined by slapping their hand, only if doing something dangerous, like running towards the street. This shall be done swiftly, more as a shock to them, and not to hurt them. The house should be baby-proofed in such a way that very little discipline is needed. Plus your baby should be carefully watched so that very little danger exists. Mom, they are babies; they don’t know what is dangerous. They are exploring the world around them. Healthy and normal babies are curious. That is a good thing.

Once the child begins to enter the toddler stage, they begin to test limits. That is their limits and your patience that they are testing. Any mother of a toddler will agree, this is a trying time. Yes, age two is the time to train a child, not only potty train them, but also train them to get under your authority and obey you. If your child is doing something dangerous, this requires an immediate response, without a warning. A quick swat on the bottom or a slapping of their hand works. This would include such things as, touching electric outlets, going in the street, putting their head in the toilet or wrapping the mini blind cord around their neck. I have had my toddlers try all these things. I learned to always be in the same room as them at all times. I also learned that this too shall pass. On my last child, I think he was ten years old before I stopped saying, ”WHERE’S SEAN? If he wasn’t with in my view, I knew that he was up to something.

That brings us to disobedience. Once you have established the rules and they disobey them, they need to be disciplined. You must go over your rules daily for toddlers so they are clearly understood. Toddlers easily forget. I always give a warning, but only one warning, never two. When I was a young mother I read a pamphlet on discipline, and I formed my view of spanking, on the wisdom I gained from that flyer. Before reading the pamphlet, I was totally against spanking, but spanking done in this fashion, I see as a total act of love. I would love to locate that pamphlet again and give it to every mother in the world, but I’ve sinced misplaced it. This is what I gleaned from that little pamphlet: If disobedience occurs, I peacefully take the child in another room. I talk to them about what happened and make sure that they understand what they did wrong. Then, I lie them across my lap and spank them three times with a small wooden paddle, or wooden spoon, just enough to be uncomfortable, not to hurt or abuse. Then I hug the child and make them ask my forgiveness for disobeying. Lastly, we pray to Jesus to first of all forgive them, and secondly help them to not do this behavior again. If they injured another child, they must then go and ask that child’s forgiveness. The whole process of disciplining that child for a wrongdoing takes at least fifteen minutes. It is not taken lightly by me or by the child; it is done in love and never rushed or done in anger. This is discipline administered properly. It is very important that the child knows that you love him even when you have to discipline him. Even God disciplines those he loves. Don’t expect more out of your child than is age appropriate. Saying, “I WILL SPANK YOU IF YOU DO NOT CLEAN YOUR ROOM,” to a three year old is overwhelming. No, it is impossible. There are more ways to discipline than just spanking. We will talk about that in a different key word.

As I stated yesterday, children need to be taught to respect authority. You and your spouse are the authority in your home. Disrespect is not tolerated in our home. As they test your authority, rules and discipline have to be set in place. This is especially true with teenagers. A good discipline is to say, “Go to your room and think about the way you have spoken to me, OR CHANGE YOUR ADDITUDE OR YOU WILL LOSE THE USE OF THE CAR!” Fathers must protect mothers in this area by teaching the children to respect their mothers .

DO you dare to discipline? Do you see discipline as an act of love or a pain in the neck? Take this to prayer. This is a very important tool in motherhood. It is the difference between raising a child to be a blessing to you and others or a burden. I say DARE TO DISCIPLINE--and give your child the training they need to be people of character to make a difference in this world. That’s all for ELLEN.

www.momsbestwisdom.com

Discipline

Dear Moms,

I love having a daily blog. I never in a million years would have ever dreamed that I would be able to, first, learn computer, and second, actually like Blogging. When I began my website, www.momsbestwisdom.com, my daughter, Tarolyn, told me I had to Blog everyday. For one thing, that seemed overwhelming, and for another thing, I did not actually know what a Blog was, I must admit. It’ s been a whole year since my website became a reality, and look who is Blogging every day almost. That has to be a miracle of God, and if you knew me, like my friends and family do, you would agree. Yes, for the first few weeks I was convinced that they forgot to put a Q on the keyboard. Then, no lie, I just found the !!!! (Exclamation Mark). I learned that, "YOU CAN TEACH AN OLD DOG NEW TRICKS.” I also learned that you get out of something what you put into something. Lastly, that learning computer is a discipline. That’s right; it is a discipline, a training, a trail and error, a learned process.

A young mom I was talking to the other day was asking me a question about disciplining her child. I gave her my card for momsbestwisdom and promised her I would use the topic of discipline on my website. It’s a great subject and I hope I can give a little wisdom on discipline this week.

God came into the world to save sinners---THAT’S US. Yes, all people are born with a sinful nature. That is because Adam and Eve chose to sin. Remember, they disobeyed God in the garden. Our children, as precious as they are, and as cute as they can be, are born rebellious and disobedient. We have to train them to do what is right, and to follow Jesus. In a way they are our disciples. If we train them well, we are cooperating with God to win them to Jesus. That is our goal as parents, to see our children come to know the Lord. God made us to know Him, to love Him, and to be happy with Him in heaven. That’s why he made our children as well. These offspring, that we call our flesh and blood, are just on loan to us from our Heavenly Father. They are really his children, not ours. Never was that more evident than when our baby Zachary, full-term was called home to Jesus, at only two hours old. A friend remarked, “Our goal as parents is to lead our children to heaven and you know for sure one of your children is there with Jesus.” What a comfort those words would become. What a reminder that these blessings are on loan to us from God.

Discipline is an ongoing process in life. It is a never ending process, which you never outgrow. There are certain rules and laws we must obey in our society, LAWS OF THE LAND. For example, there are speed limits, and if you do not obey the rules, you get a ticket. There are laws of the Church. If you do not obey them, things don’t go well for you. There are even laws that rule a marriage. If we obey the laws, we live in harmony with our world. If we do not obey the laws, there are consequences. Having rules gives us peace. Just as we have a certain respect for authority, like police, disciplining our children will teach them respect for authority. Mom, you and your husband are the authority in their lives. They must learn to obey you and come under your authority. This is essential if they are going to become responsible, well-adjusted members of society.

God’s Word says, “DISCIPLINE YOURSELF UNTO GODLINESS.” Maturity comes by learning skills at an appropriate time. Immaturity comes by learning the skill later or not at all. Our children are, in a way, our first disciples, so teach them well. Remember, you can teach an old dog new tricks, but wouldn’t it be better to teach a new dog old tricks? The godly wisdom you have, mom, you are called by God to impart to your children. We want our children to not make the same mistakes we made, and to not have to learn the hard way. So, teach your children, train your children, discipline your children and the fruit will be good.

When I was a young mother, I was getting frustrated about saying the same thing over and over again to one particular child. I must have been complaining to the Lord because God spoke to me loud and clear, in His still small voice. I almost had to look over my shoulder to see if He was visible in the room because I was that aware of His presence. HE said, “IF THEY WERE ALREADY TRAINED, I WOULDN’T HAVE ASKED YOU TO TRAIN THEM.” The scripture immediately raced through my mind from Proverbs, “TRAIN UP YOUR CHILD IN THE WAY OF THE LORD, AND WHEN HE GETS OLD, HE WLL NOT DEPART FROM IT.” What a PROMISE!!!!!! I don’t think I ever complained again, at least not in that area. God had cured me. GOD’S PROMISE WAS WORTH THE EFFORT TO ME. Is it worth the effort to you, mom?

This week and next, I will take the letters of the word D-I-S-C-I-P-L-I-N-E and give you a key word to remember in this area. So, don’t forget to check the website. I guess I should close because I am disciplining myself to exercise an hour a day, and I need to be faithful.

As always,
ELLEN

A Moment of Grace

Dear Moms,

It seems like an eternity since I have written my Blog, but actually we all know that an eternity is forever and ever, so I guess it has not been that long. I have a great excuse, however. You might say I was witnessing a MIRACLE, and yes, it was a moment of GRACE. On September, 9th, 2008, my husband, Patrick, and I took the RED-EYE to Louisville, Kentucky. No not the Midnight Flight, although both our eyes were extremely red. No, we drove our car, leaving at 11:00 P.M and arriving at 8:00 A.M, not stopping except for essentials like caffeine and food, of course, and gas. Thank God it was before the gas shortage. Why did we venture out on such a Crazy Road-Trip in the middle of my “Beauty Sleep,” you may ask? It was to witness the MIRACLE and to walk in the MOMENT OF GRACE, REMEMBER?
My fourth child, Amanda Joy , was birthing our sixth grandchild, and we would not have missed it for the world.. That was the good news. The bad news was that Amanda was barely 33 weeks pregnant. Yes, Baby Lauren Grace could not wait to get here. I immediately put them on a prayer chain, before even leaving town. I was at total peace, knowing that they were in God’s Everlasting Arms. Once in the hospital, we got the update from Amanda’s husband, Kyle. They were stalling the labor, even though her water bag had already broken and had given Amanda a shot to help the baby’s lungs to develop. Kyle and Patrick, both Physicians, did not appear at all worried, which kept Amanda and I calm as well. It seemed like an eternity waiting the 48 hours before Amanda could begin labor, but we already have established how long an eternity really is, haven’t we. Picture this: a very tired, hungry 33-week pregnant woman, who had not had anything but ice chips for 48 hours. Now, picture this: A woman about to give birth who hasn’t eaten and has barely slept for 48 hours and is at total peace and is walking or rather lying in a hospital bed with the JOY OF THE LORD. That’s our Amanda Joy Grace. She didn’t once complain or feel sorry for herself. Kyle was a witness of God’s love remaining devotedly at her side at all times and meeting her needs before she even had to ask.

On September 12, at 1:24 P.M. Lauren Grace Young, The Miracle Baby , came into this world, weighing just 4lbs and 1 oz. She came out screaming and even got a 8 and 9 on her agar scores, great by the way for a preemie. After a few quick pictures and a little bonding with her mom, Lauren Grace was whisked away for some special care in th nursery.

Amanda spent one night in the hospital after the birth and headed home since she had a one year old named Elle, who had never spent the night away from her, and was waiting anxiously for her return. My husband, Patrick, had already left for home, but I was reporting for Nana and Mama duty for two full weeks. I must admit, it wasn’t an easy two weeks, but it was grace filled. God proved to us all, “MY GRACE IS SUFFICIENT. MY POWER WORKS BEST IN YOUR WEAKNESS,” and “ I CAN DO ALL THINGS THRU CHRIST WHO STRENGTHRENS ME.” Those two weeks we lived those two scriptures daily and sometimes hourly. Amanda, again being a trooper, drove the 20 minute ride to the hospital to nurse baby Lauren, several times a day. When she was not nursing, she was pumping with an electric pump on loan from the hospital. Dedicated mom that Amanda is, even pumped in the middle of the night, then set the alarm so she could get to the hospital in time for the 7:00 A.M. feeding. She wanted to make sure that her baby not only nursed well, but also bonded well. Kyle, giving 100% himself, made sure that he accompanied Amanda to the hospital as much as he could, also wanting to bond well with Lauren and support his wife with unconditional love. He juggled this in the midst of working full time and often coming off a 24 hour call duty. I guess you could say no one was getting a lot of sleep, except Nana. I was exhausted. I don’t know what was wearing me out more, watching a very active almost-two-year-old or doing all that I was doing to support the family while having a fever. I was so sick the first week, that to be honest, I have no recollection of the first week at their home at all. I do know that all the wash got done, meals were on the table on time, there was order in the home; it was neat and tidy and there was one happy well-adjusted almost-two-year-old who didn’t skip a beat. God’s Grace Was Sufficient.

A few days ago, September 26, 2008, just a little over two weeks from Lauren Grace’s Birthday, she left the “Baby Hotel,” as her father calls it, and was escorted by her entire family, her mother Amanda, her father Kyle, and her Big Sister Elle, to the place they all call home. It is a day of rejoicing.

I wanted to add this to my blog today to first of all honor and thank the Lord for His grace and, secondly, to give a real life example of a mom who is, ”BEING THE BEST SHE CAN BE.” One thing Amanda said during this trial that I’ll never forget is, “ MOM, YOU CAN”T CHANGE YOUR CIRCUMSTANCES. ALL YOU CAN CHANGE IS HOW YOU ARE GOING TO DEAL WITH THEM.” That’s our Amanda Joy Grace, who lives a grace-filled life, always full of the joy of the Lord. I guess she was named for the virtue she possesses.

Mom, how do you cope when life’s circumstances don’t go your way?

Email me,
Ellen.

Wrapping Up Traditions

Dear Moms,

As you see Traditions are a lot of fun and a lot of work, but the joy received by the children outweighs any inconvenience. So, get started; let the memories begin and thank God that we have our memories in tact. In this world, people don’t seem to have time to just waste time with one another. In my book, the most important thing you can give your children is your time. So mom, don’t busy yourself too much that you don’t have the time to build family. Family traditions are a way to begin.

Before I close the chapter on Family Traditions, I want to include some random traditions we do at our home:
1.Half Birthdays---This tradition began when my Amanda and I read a book about half birthdays. After finishing the book, I realized that Amanda’s half birthday was that very week. We surprised her with a half birthday party. We made half a cake, gave her half the presents and sang, “HAPPY HALF BIRTHDAY TO YOU!” It was so much fun that we made it a family tradition. I must admit it was a big effort to throw seven birthday parties as well as seven half birthday parties, but it was a tradition that was treasured and loved by all.
2.The Special Plate--We purchased a red plate at the store called THE SPECIAL PLATE. Given that name because those words were written right on the plate. We would honor the children by letting them eat off their Special Plate on birthdays, or special accomplishments, like all A’s, getting a soccer goal or even making captain of the cheerleader squad. They were thrilled with the Special Plate and would ask for it by name, if I were to forget. We finally invested in two Special Plates, so that two children could be honored on the same day.
3.Banners--This was a very popular tradition. We made banners for welcoming home people, father’s day, mothers’ day and even birthdays. In fact, the children did so enjoy banners, that we made them for everything.
4.Lighting the candle--Every morning all children under school age would light a candle with me to start the day and give our day to God. We would then all sing, “THIS IS THE DAY,” together and the toddler would blow out the candle. It was a highlight of the day for us all.
5.The Blessing Cup--The Blessing Cup was shaped like a chalice and was made out of pottery. It was actually called the Blessing Cup and came with a book of prayers. You probably can Google it to find one to purchase. We used the Blessing Cup on all birthdays and on every holiday. On birthdays, we would toast the birthday person with a kind word or two, then take a sip of wine that we had poured in the cup beforehand. On holidays, we would toast the Lord then take a sip of wine. The Blessing Cup would go all around the table with each person taking a turn.
6.Family Dinners-- Sunday is family dinner and all are encouraged to come. It is a time of reconnecting, loving and keeping in touch before the busy week starts. We all look forward to it.

Mom, “A WISE WOMAN BUILDS HER HOME.” You are the heart of the home, so fill your heart with ways to make every day special, whether it be baking Christmas cookies together or celebrating half-birthdays together. There are so many traditions to implement. Read, read, read, read, because there is a wealth of knowledge in this area.
Some of the best books I can suggest are:
1.LET’S MAKE A MEMORY by Gloria Gaither and Shirley Dobson
2 A MOTHER’SMANUAL FOR SUMMER SURVIVAL by Kathy Peel and Joy Mahaffey
3.A MOTHER’S MANUAL FOR HOLIDAY SURVIVAL by Kathy Peel and Judy Byrd
4.A MOTHER’S MANUAL FOR SCHOOL SURVIVAL by Kathy Peel and Joy Mahaffey
These are all good resources for your hunt to find those traditions that suit your family and your personality.

Traditions, as I said, make a house a home, and even adult children will join in the fun, as they remember this tradition played out in years past. Hopefully, it will have been a good memory. If you have established the memory in your home in the Spirit of Christ with lots of love, an abundance of joy and a bucket full of grace and added to that total peace, then your adult children will pass these traditions on to your grandchildren. One day, your grandchildren will pass these traditions on to your great grandchildren, and so on. So pass it on; make a memory today--start a new tradition--build family--build it strong. “A Proverbs 31 Woman looks well to the ways of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.”
That’s all for this topic; I think I have exhausted it. I bet I have exhausted a lot of my readers as well. Don’t get overwhelmed. Do as Jesus said, “TAKE ONE DAY AT A TIME.”

As always,
ELLEN