More on Raising Daughters

Dear Moms,

We talked about group dates with my daughters on the last post. Those “GIRLS' NIGHTS OUT” truly build sisterhood among all of us. After all, aren’t we all “SISTERS IN CHRIST?” Yet, in order for our Mother-Daughter relationships to be healthy with each daughter, since I do have four daughters, I plan and schedule a lot of ONE-ON-ONE TIME. When the daughters were in school, the most natural thing to do was grab a bite to eat together. We also would do a lot of shopping trips as well. I would let them share their hearts with me and ask questions that they didn’t want to ask with other sisters there. It became the perfect setting for them to open up and just be themselves. I always treasure those times together. I only have one single daughter and only two daughters in town, so whenever I can, weekly if possible, I try to schedule a Mom and Me Time. The effort it takes to make this happen is well worth it in the fruit it bears. I was always the one my girls sought advice from, not a teacher, not a counselor, not another Mom. I would also encourage the girls that if they ever had a problem that they couldn’t talk to me about, then to go to one of their sisters or their brothers, or their dad. S ince our family is so close, most problems were solved within the family network. As the Word of God says, “IF ONE REJOICES, WE ALL REJOICE. IF ONE SUFFERS, WE ALL SUFFER.” That is so true in our family.

With three married daughters and two living out of town, we are forced to have a lot of our ONE-ON-ONE TIME on the phone. This is where we thank God for cell phones. It had to be invented by a woman who had daughters who lived out of town. If my daughters need me, I want to be there for them. One well meaning friend suggested that I just don’t answer the phone if I am busy. My reply was that I’m never too busy for family. Yes, my daughters and I are in daily connection. Yes, sometimes the phone rings off the wall, but it’s always a joy to hear their voices, even if the grandchildren are screaming in the background. If I’m scheduled for a writing day, I will answer the phone with a, “HEY, IS IT ANYTHING IMPORTANT?” If the answer is no, I say, “CAN I CALL YOU BACK?” The answer is always, “YES.“ Everyone understands because we all live busy lives. These sharing times involve anything from asking for prayer, to sharing a recipe, to motherhood or marriage advice. Sometimes I’m even the one asking for prayer, a recipe or advice. It helps that we are all best friends. When I’m not on the phone with them, guess who they are on the phone with? You guessed it, each other. God says, "Call to me and I will be there.” We moms need to be imitators of God to our children in that area. Mom, if they are not confiding in you and seeking after your godly wisdom, who are they getting advice from?

So, Mom, get out your calendars, then pick up the phone and make a date with your daughter. If they live out of town, tell them to call for a phone date. Vow to never be too busy to be available to your most precious possessions, your children. Sometimes people will ask me what I want for my birthday or Christmas and I will reply, “TIME.” There’s so much to do and so little time to do it in. I’m always saying to God, “IF THERE WERE JUST EIGHT DAYS IN THE WEEK.” Time--use it wisely, and waste it not. Use your time to build a Godly Family. When you stand before God, will He say, “WELL DONE, YOU GOOD AND FAITHFUL SERVANT”? What do you think, Mom? E-mail me or leave a comment!

ELLEN