S is for Sincerity

Dear Moms,

Have you ever played Poker? Picture your expression when the you are dealt FOUR ACES, right off the bat. Do you smile and spill the beans to the whole poker table? Not a chance!!! What do you do? You use your Poker Face, Mom. A POKER FACE that doesn’t even give a clue of what is behind those cards you are holding…Then you casually BID BIG. That same POKER FACE that you use in that well-loved card game, believe it or not, also comes in handy in disciplining your children. Why? Because Children can be so cute when they are naughty. Let me clarify that, young children. There is nothing funny about a disrespectful, disobedient teenager. I always say that you can’t spoil a child with Love, but you must always train a child with love, as well. You don’t want to raise a SPOILED BRAT. By the time you have a teenager, they should be trained in Godly principles. Teenagers will rebel to some extent, just like a two year old will have Temper Tantrums, but there should be a certain respect there, that they know they can only go so far. Now back to the Poker Face, this is just what you use when your child has done something so funny, yet nonetheless, against the rules of the home. You have no choice but to follow thorugh with the consequences that are given for that wrong action. As a mom, you must look the child right in the eye, yes eye ball to eye ball, and correct them in love. Mom, if you want them to change their behavior, don’t laugh, smile, or give in when you are disciplining. Poker Face your way through it, and don’t let on that you feel they are too cute to punish.

Be Sincere...SINCERE IS OUR NEXT KEY WORD.. MOM, if you say it, you mean it! As scripture says, “ LET YOUR YES BE YES, AND LET YOUR NO BE NO.” Be Firm and, “STICK TO YOUR GUNS.” When I was raising my seven, a very common thing I would say to my pre-schooler or toddler was, “I’m the MOM!” What would they say back? I know you want to know, Mom. They would say back to me in the most grown up voice that they could muster up, “NO, I’M THE MOM.” To which I would say, “ WHO’S IN CHARGE?” They would answer, “I’M IN CHARGE.” They actually thought that they were in charge. They were under five. This is great mom because it gives you the opportunity to let them know who is in charge. Who’s the BOSS?? Mom, Is It Them Or Is It You? The sooner this is established, the more peaceful your parenting experience will be. The later this is established, the HARDER your parenting experience will be. This is your choice, Mom, YOU ARE IN THE DRIVER’S SEAT. Don’t give your keys to the car to your child at too young an age or they will be running you over. In other words, IT IS YOUR HOUSE AND YOUR RULES. This should be understood at two and at teenage years too. YOU’RE THE MOM!!! Parent the child with SINCERITY. Things will go better if you do.

It is much better to have, FEWER RULES AND MUCH MORE CONSISTENCY. If you say it, you mean it or they will get your number very, very quickly, even if they are only ONE YEAR OLD. So mom don’t make Rules for most days when, you are too tired, too sick, or too busy to follow through. IF YOU SAY IT, MOM, YOU MEAN IT!!! Don’ t make rules that you won’t follow through with if they are just too cute. IF YOU SAY IT MOM, YOU MEAN IT. Whatever you do, don’t make a rule that you let them talk you out of, that is just what we Moms call manipulation. . SO WHAT IS A MOTHER TO DO? If you are sick or extra tired or too busy, get extra help to come in, like a friend or relative. If this is not possible, farm the children out or pay someone to watch them. If all else fails, be creative, limit their space, so you can lie on the couch and still keep a good eye on them. Have a special emergency basket of special things to do that are new and different, that you pull out on just these occasions. New and different are the recipe for success here. This will always hold their attention for a longer period of time, than old and familiar. Here’s some Ideas:
1. Stickers or foam stickers
2. New crayons and coloring books
3. Indoor bubbles
4. Play dough and new play dough toys
5. Water Paint or New books to paint that don’t require paint, just water
6. New Books to read together
7. A New Quiet Toy

I just heard a great talk by a father of six children. The main point was SIMPLIFY. He used the words CRAZY BUSY. Our children should rank among the most important things in our lives, next to God and our husbands, of course. Mom, we never should be too CRAZY BUSY to care for them well and to take the time to train them properly. Take an honest look at your life. Where is your time being spent? What are some things you can eliminate so that your children can spend quality time with you?

Mom, to conclude, “SAY WHAT YOU MEAN, AND MEAN WHAT YOU SAY.” Be Sincere. Being a person of your word teaches your child, not only to obey you, but also to trust you. It will also, when given the test of time, teach your child to respect you. Children need limits. They find safety and security in limits. Be Proud, Mom, if you are the mother, who your child says to a friend once you have given a direction, “MY MOM MEANS WHAT SHE SAYS.” It is then that you know in your heart that you have done your job well.

What Do you think, Mom? E-Mail Ellen. I’d Love to hear from you.

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