Monday, June 22, 2009

My Baby Boy

Dear Moms,
Today is my baby boys’ birthday. I guess you could say, he definitely is not a baby any more, in fact, today Sean Kevin Chase Mongan is 18 years old. In honor of his eighteenth birthday, I am going to post the last, life lessons. Last, but not least, our seventh child.
When God took our 8th baby Zachary home, after only two hours old, Sean became the baby of our family forever. Zachary was born full term, but none of us knew, how short his time with us would be. I will attest, that everyone’s life in our family was affected by Zachary’s death. The affect was both positive , as well as negative. In Sean’s case, the biggest negative affect, was that, I had, a “Mother’s Heart,” yet no baby to hold,. I gave Sean way too much motherly help, as well as, way too much attention. Instead of calling Sean on to maturity, to learn and to do things himself, like I did with the other children, I was always at Sean’s beck and call. In other words I enabled him. One of the benefits of a large family, as many of you all know, is the ability of raising very confident, responsible, and capable children . Sean was being robbed of this, and I was unaware that this was even occurring.
To top it off, Sean, being a pre-mature baby, was a sickly child. Yes, for the first thirteen years, of his life, it was very common for Sean to be home from school, every other week., with a fever, an upper repertory sickness or vomiting. It was very hard for him and extremely hard on me. On the positive side, I grew in compassion, and Sean in perseverance. Sean being a good suffer, never complained.
Now for he good news, God being God, who definitely has a calling on Sean’s life, was not going to let an over attentive mother, rob her child of virtue and grace. God intervened. My husband Pat, answered God’s call to become a deacon in our Catholic Church, when Sean was in the seventh grade. What did that mean? It meant that my husband and I would go out of town , one weekend a month , to study, for five years total. It was just what the doctor ordered for a woman and man with seven close together children. Yes, my husband, Pat, a Family Practice Physician was ready, to hang up his stethoscope, to take the Sacrament of Holy Orders. He was preparing to pour his whole life into serving the church, moving towards full time ministry. Thus, Pat’s second career., was birthed. When Sean entered high school, he found himself, “home alone,” one weekend a month. I began to coin a phrase, “Sean is raising himself, and he’s doing a great job.” He rose to the occasion, never complained, taught himself to cook, and when in doubt, ordered pizza. He made us proud, as he showed himself, not only to be responsible, but also, trustworthy. We hold these two virtues in high esteem in our home.
Another way God helped this over attentive mom out was by giving us grandchildren. I was able to nurture them, take my eyes off Sean. Sean showed himself as a very caring and fun uncle. I think, that all of the nieces and nephews, think of Sean as their favorite uncle.
On March 16, 2009, Pat and I welcomed our seventh grandchild, Ashlyn Hope to the family. Our plan was to leave immediately for Merritt Island, Florida, a soon as we heard the word, “labor and delivery. “ When I woke up that morning , I was surprised to see Sean laying on the bathroom floor, pale as can be. He said, “Mom, I feel sick, and I threw up eight times.” As I felt his head, I knew that he had a fever, as well. My husband and I weighted our options, packed slowly, and hoped for a miracle. Then after begging every family member to come be his nurse, and finding no one available, I stationed an angel to guard and take care of our seventeen year old son. With all the compassion of a mother’s heart, I asked , “ Sean are you going to be alright?” His response, showed forth the maturity that God had been working in him all along. Sean said, “Mom, I know that I am not your only child.” As I walked out the door, I prayed a pray of thanksgiving to Jesus, for the Man Of God Sean had become. Tears welled up in my eyes, as I learned a lesson as a mom that I will never forget. “Unless the Lord builds the house, you labor in vain to build it. God had housed a character full of virtue and selfless love in Sean’s heart, when I wasn’t even looking. A character that he took to Hawaii, a couple of weeks ago after high school graduation. Sean, didn’t go alone, God is with him and even though we miss him on this his eighteenth birthday, what better hands can he be in , than the palm of God’s hands.
Sean, the baby of seven children, who could have become a spoiled brat, has proven to me, that you can not spoil with love and attention. God is in control. Truly, Sean has a calling on his life.
Mom be the best mom you can be. Pray fervently and entrust them to God daily. He will fill in the gaps. That’s all for www.momsbestwisdom.com
As always,
Ellen

Monday, June 8, 2009

Postpartum Depression

Dear Moms,
It is very common for a new mother to feel some depression during the first few weeks after having a baby. I, myself, had post partum depression, with four of my eight children. They may complain of weepiness, mood swings, sadness, or even nervousness. The bout of baby blues is usually related to hormone swings. It may even occur later because of the stress, as well as the changes associated with having a new baby. I wanted to give some practical wisdom that one can do when faced with post partum depression:
1. Go see a doctor. If medicine helps, thank God for it.
2. Eat right (five basic food groups and especially protein) Remember that, “The body is the temple of the Holy Ghost. “ Take care of it.
3. Get plenty of rest (nap if necessary). The word of God says, “He gives His beloved a good night sleep.”(Proverbs 3)
4. Get a Spiritual Director in the form of a Titus 2, Older Woman, who listens, understands and has been there. In other words she has done the journey that you are walking on. Talk it out. Get problems and worry off your chest. Together pray. “Cast your cares upon Him for He cares for you.”
5. Take one hour a day for “me time, “doing what you like to do. Rest, relax, and restore. “Love your neighbor as yourself. “
6. Take a date night with you and your husband. The two shall become one. (Genesis 2:24) Avoid talking about your situation on the date night, but rather enjoy one another. Keep it lighthearted and fun.
7. Pray if you are able, but if you can't pray know that others are standing in the gap for you. 8. Receive the Sacraments often; they are grace for your soul.
9. Spend time with Jesus in the Adoration Chapel, just sit at the foot of the Cross with Him and don't say a word.
10. Get someone to come over and help you. Many hands make light work. (A maid, a mother or a friend)
11. Get around people. Find a mom's support group of caring friends (MOPS or Mom's Club)
13. Exercise, even if you do not feel like it. It will lift your spirits. Find the flavor of exercise that you enjoy. Make a commitment to exercise at least three times a week.
14. Fix yourself up. Get a new outfit, a new hairdo, or even a pedicure. This will help to boast your self esteem which always suffers during a depression.
15. Guard your friendships. Get around positive people who will pull you up, rather than drag you down.
16. Plan a trip with your husband or your family. Focus on the detail, rather than your problems.
17. Get a new hobby, join a new class, make a new friend, and join a new ministry.
18. Do something for others. Make a meal for a new mom. Serve at the soup kitchen. Tutor a child.
19, Accept the things you cannot change. Change the things you can. Have the wisdom to know the difference.
20. Remember this too shall pass. One wise woman once told me, "that sometimes it is Ok to put one foot in front of the other and not even smile, but just make it thru the day. God understands and He loves you.” These two sentences freed me up, because she had done the journey that I was on.

Any of these suggestions may help, but it is possible they may also make things worse. So, if you experience more stress or depression with any of them, then obviously you should not do them. If the symptoms of depression are mild you may not need to see a Dr., but if you have any thoughts of harming yourself or family, then you must see your doctor. Above all do not take it out on your baby. If you cannot cope, call for help. Scripture says, “A woman is saved thru childbirth.” This bundle of joy we receive from God teaches us to lay down our lives daily, while God is giving us the grace to do it. The sacrifices we make, form us into the image of Our Savior Jesus Christ. We as moms, bear patiently with sleepless nights, spit up on our blouses, very little time for our self, endless patience and many more daily sacrifices done in love. The rewards however, outweigh the sacrifice given: the first smile, the baby’s first step taken, the first time our baby says “Mama,” brings joy to our heart. Babies will truly win your heart and we will know what God meant by a “Mother‘s Heart.”

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Mom's Best Wisdom Bible Study

We've taken a short break on this blog, but we've been busily working on another project--the Mom's Best Wisdom Bible Study Book. It's a great bible study for moms from all walks of life, and we hope it will minister to many! There's a sample chapter below, and if you're interested in purchasing a copy or in multiple copies for a bible study group, please contact Ellen at momsbestwisdom@yahoo.com. Don't worry; there are more posts to come soon!

Week 1:Mommy, Mommy, Play with Me!

No matter how many toys you buy your child, or how many DVD’s or videos you pop in the TV, every preschool mother will hear these words, all day long, “Mommy, mommy play with me!” Yes, mom, you are their best toy. Treasure the moment. Before you know it, you will be walking them down the aisle for their wedding day. I have been there; I know. Many years ago, God moved our family to Vernal, Utah, where my husband opened his own family practice clinic. What God did not tell me, was that there were very few Christians in Vernal. At the time, I had two preschoolers and I was pregnant with our third child. Out of desperation, I wrote a book of activities for moms to do with their preschoolers appropriately called, “Mommy, Mommy Play With Me.” It is a wealth of ideas, and I know God helped me because I wrote the whole book in one week. My point is: there are plenty of books on the market with things to do with your child. Take time with your little one. These moments will breed memories that will last a lifetime. I used to take an hour with my child and call it “special time”. One day we would make a hat and drum and then march like a marching band. Another day we would bake together, and some days, we would even take a field trip. During this special time I would always cease the opportunity to bring it around to teaching about our faith. For instance, my book is divided into different letters every week. Week one is the letter A, week two is the letter B and so on.

To give you an idea of how it is Christ-centered, on F week we would make fishing poles and learn the song God will make you Fishers of Men. Finally, we would talk about Jesus calling us to touch a life for Christ a day; teaching us how to be “Fishers for Souls.” Variety is the spice of life. What do you think? What’s your favorite “mom and me” memory? Let’s share. If you would like to share your experiences with me or would like to purchase my book go to www.momsbestwisdom.com; write a blog or send me an email. I’d love to hear from you.

Scripture

All your sons shall be taught by the LORD, and great shall be the peace of your children. In justice shall you be established, far from the fear of oppression, where destruction cannot come near you. Should there be any attack, it shall not be of my making; whoever attacks you shall fall before you. (Isaiah 54:13-5)

But wicked people and charlatans will go from bad to worse, deceivers and deceived. But you, remain faithful to what you have learned and believed, because you know from whom you learned it, and that from infancy you have known (the) sacred scriptures, which are capable of giving you wisdom for salvation through faith in Christ Jesus. (2 Timothy 3:13-5)

As you know, we treated each one of you as a father treats his children, exhorting and encouraging you and insisting that you conduct yourselves as worthy of the God who calls you into his kingdom and glory. (1 Thessalonians 2:11-12)

Therefore, you shall love the LORD, your God, with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your strength. Take to heart these words which I enjoin on you today. Drill them into your children. Speak of them at home and abroad, whether you are busy or at rest. (Deuteronomy 6:5-7)

What do these scriptures mean to you?

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Scripture Reflection

These children are on loan to us from God for a small passage of time. These little souls are like wet sponges; they will soak up whatever you teach them about God and His Word. It is the greatest gift you can give them. It will bear good fruit in their life and great will be their peace. It will be a comfort to them in the years to come.

So, mommy, mommy, play with them! May even your play be a teachable moment to lead them to Christ!

Questions

1. How do you spend quality time with your children? What are the downsides? What has worked for you? ______________________________________________________________________________

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2. Any funny “mommy moments”? ______________________________________________________________________________

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3. How do you use everyday situations to teach your child about God?

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4. What did your mom do to teach you about God and the world around you?

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Let Us Pray

Dear Heavenly Father,

Children are little for such a small span of time; help us to make time in each of our days to spend quality time with them; time to teach them about you, God, and about the world around them. Teach them to be children of character and children of faith that will be time well spent, with us as their example, mentor, and friend. Help us make this time fun, creative, faith filled and memorable. When they cry “Mommy, mommy play with me,” let us try our best to be there.

In Jesus Name, Amen!

Challenge

Have an indoor or outdoor picnic with your children and talk about God and His creation

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Life Lessons

Dear Moms,
Today we are going to talk about LIFE LESSONS. I am going to actually share how God taught each of my seven children a Life Lesson. I will also share my part in the training of God in their lives, which includes the ability thru the Grace Of God to sometimes bite my tongue and the Self Control to avoid fixing it, but rather LETTING GOD BE GOD in their live. The fruit born thru these Life Lessons was seeing, in hindsight of course , how God built their Character . as well as, their Testimony, all thru these Life Experiences.. So Read On Then, “ Let Go And Let God, Mom. You will be glad you did!
When my first born started school, he began to learn a Life Lesson that served him well all his life and made him the MAN HE IS TODAY. Every one who knows Tyler , Loves Tyler. He lives the Scripture, If you follow me I will make even your enemies at peace with you.” My husband says of Tyler, “TYLER IS HIS OWN MAN.” In other words , no matter what circumstances, peer pressure , or place Tyler finds himself in, TYLER IS GOING TO BE TYLER, NO MATTER WHAT! Tyler has the right balance between Godly Confidence and Godly Humility. He fits in where ever he goes, whether the people TRAVEL TO THE BEAT OF A DIFFERENT DRUM or STEP IN TIME TO THE MUSIC. He is free to LOVE AND NOT TO JUDGE. IT IS NO WONDER, EVERYONE LOVES TYLER, ESPECIALLY HIS MOM. As a young mother, I read a book called, “THE MOTHER’S ALMANAC.” I don’t remember much about it’s content, , except it was a wealth of knowledge, but one statement stuck with me for life. The statement was, “YOU WILL NOT LOVE YOUR FIRST BORN BETTER, BUT YOU WILL ALWAYS LOVE HIM DIFFERENTLY.” Tyler, my first born, after all made me a Mother, and for that I will be eternally grateful. I get a kick out of mom’s when they refer to their first born as a guinea pig. Our first born actually taught us more than we taught him. Yes, of course Tyler is perfect, you don’t even need to ask. If you don’t believe me, Check our his WEBSITE….. www.honuguide.com. I challenge you to tell me different.
So how did Tyler became the Man he is today? First off, when Tyler was born, we not only had him baptized, but also dedicated to the Lord, as the Bible encourages for all first born children. This has given me great peace to know in the times he wanders from his faith, that God has His hand on Tyler and He will never let him go. Secondly, he was raised in a Christian Home where Jesus was Lord and reigned in our hearts. Then, the Life Lesson that I promised I’d share. When Tyler began Kindergarten he was given an opportunity to stand for his faith and learn a lesson in obedience, all rolled into one. We had just moved into Augusta, Georgia, so Tyler was not only in a new town , but also a new school. The teacher , whose name will remain nameless, had a common practice of showing movies , almost weekly , that had witches in them. I, being a newly committed Christian and sensitive to guarding my children’s heart as well as mind, was quite offended, since this was a Christian School. Using the Scripture Principle, stated in Mathew, I decided to go to her in private. I praised God, because she politely listened and seemed to have understood. We all know than, “THINGS ARE NOT ALWAYS AS THEY SEEM.” When I asks Tyler a few days later, “IS YOUR TEACHER STILL SHOWING MOVIES WITH WITCHES IN THEM,” I was shocked at his reply. Tyler politely answered, “YES, MOM, BUT IT IS OK , BECAUSE SHE HAS MY SEAT FACE BACKWARDS WHEN SHE SHOWS THEM . SO I DON”T SEE THE MOVIE AT ALL.” I was so sadden by this teachers response, but at the same time proud of my son’s obedience and acceptance. As I questioned Tyler further, I discovered, not only did he face his desk backwards, but also, it was in the front of the class, facing all the other students who were enjoying the movie. In tears, I brought this to the attention of the principle, and although she had a tremendous amount of compassion for me and a very kind heart, we concluded, “YOU CAN NOT CHANGE THE WORLD.” So there Tyler sat, week after week standing for God All Alone. Tyler, never complained or even asks to do anything different than the teacher’s request. I gave it to Jesus, but will never forget the experience. Sometimes it even brings tears to my eyes.
I know what all you moms are out there thinking, “WHAT IS WRONG WITH MOVIES WITH WITCHES, THERE ARE MUCH WORSE THINGS THAN THAT, WHICH CAN POLLUTE A CHILD’S MIND?” First of all I was new in the faith and it was the 1980’s. Our world has changed a lot since the 80’s. Yet, Persecution for our faith has not changed a whole lot, neither has peer pressure. I believe that God gave Tyler and I the Grace to let Him stand for God, It was the Life Lesson Learned, that made him who he is today. I thank God for Tyler. I thank God for that teacher who allowed him that experience. And I thank God that I didn’t pull him out of school, or make an issue. I lastly thank God that we can forgive. God in His Wisdom, “WORKS ALL THINGS TOGETHER FOR GOOD, FOR THOSE WHO LOVE HIM AND ARE CALLED TOGETHER FOR HIS PURPOSE.”
Moms, let your children Learn the Life Lessons in their path. Guide them but don’t do it for them. You’d be surprised Mom’s that God can teach you a thing or two thru these experiences as well. ENJOY THE JOURNEY.
That’s all for Ellen
www.momsbestwisdom.com

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Happy New Year

Dear Moms,
One of my favorite lines from my sister Lynn’s Christmas Card, was the popular Quote, “LIFE IS WHAT HAPPENS, WHEN YOU ARE BUSY MAKING OTHER PLANS.” Isn’t that the truth! I first saw that quote on a picture frame, while in Kentucky. I was in Kentucky to welcoming my fourth grandchild ELLE YOUNG, the first born of Dr. and Mrs. S. Kyle Young, who by the way were not going to have any children, until Kyle finished Residency. Of course, I bought the frame and instructed them to place a picture of Baby Elle in it. It is a good thing I did because, this year , I was again in Kentucky welcoming, Elle’s brand new sister, Baby Lauren who arrived, even before Elle turned 2 years old.. No Kyle is not finished with his Residency yet! Again, “LIFE IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU ARE BUSY MAKING OTHER PLANS.” We all know that, God always has a plan .Of course Kyle and Amanda would not change a thing , as they welcomed their surprise blessings, Elle and then Lauren with open arms.
All this said, I too have had life happen, during this busy Christmas Season. I don’t think that I have been on my daily Blog at all or even checked my E-mails. Let’s face it Christmas is always busy. No we did not have two weddings and a funeral, yet we did have our share of Celebrations. Five of our seven children are born between Thanksgiving and January 9th. So there were a lot of Birthdays. In fact, today is my Baby Girl’ s Birthday. Kaitlin is 22 today, January 6. I added to the work load the 500 Christmas cards that I sent out, and I also write a book every year that come out as one of my Christmas gifts to close friends. Christmas requires a lot of time, talent and treasure. To top it off, my husband Patrick and I decided to Renew our vows on December 28th. This Renewal of Vows, was part of my “BUCKET LIST,” to have a Church wedding. Pat and I were married on May 1, 1974 AT SUNSET BY THE OCEAN in Key Biscayne, Florida, and later had our marriage blessed by a Catholic Priest. This HEARTS DESIRE, which started out small blossomed into a huge family event. It was ONE UFORGETTABLE ENCHANTED EVENING!!!!! I did tell the children and my husband, to remind me, ( because I’m over 50 and could be known to forget ), “No ONE CAN GET MARRIED DURING THE HOLIDAYS AGAIN.” Yes, it was a lot of work, but worth every blood, sweat and tears.
With Christmas, Birthdays, and the Renewal of Vows behind me, I am ready to dig in and Make A Difference this year. Starting with my blog.When New Years Day came I thought about writing on my Blog about the common changes that all of us like to commit to at the start of the year. You know the common topics, like Diet, Exercise and Organizational Skills, but then God put on my heart a Different Topic. I think that the idea evolved from a card that I had bought my Baby Girl. For my daughter Kaitlin’s Birthday I got her a card that said,
LEARN TO LIVE
LEARN TO LOVE
LEARN TO LAUGH
It speaks in the card about how I hope I have taught you these things, and feel that you have taught me these things, as well. As I contemplated these word s in her card and thought about the children’s visit. I was reminded about Life Lessons and how they are learned. Moms, as we raise our children, we can learn as much from them, that they learn from us.. All we have to do is just open our eyes and see and open ours ears and hear. In fact this is one way of hearing the Voice of God and see Him at work in our lives.
To start this New year, I am going to take each of my children and tell you how they learned a life lesson and how it formed their character forever. So read on don’t miss this Blog. I’m going to close now, I have to meet my family at my daughter Charity’s Restaurant, because we are Celebrating Kaitlin’s Birthday. Happy New Year!! Vow to make a difference in your own little corner of the world. Learn your Life lessons well . Then take a step back and let your children learn the Life Lessons that God allows in their Paths. . Ellen www. momsbestwisdom.com