Sunday, November 23, 2008

Jealousy 4

Dear Moms,
No one is really exempt from the jealousy monster. It can even attack us big people if we don‘t guard our hearts. You know how they say, “WHEN YOU GET OLDER, YOU TURN INTO YOUR MOTHER?” It is a true statement. You see as we age we begin to understand why our mom did things the way she did . Then we are able to forgive her, for things we judged her, and maybe even held bitterness toward her because of the way she raised us. How does this miracle of the heart come about? You see as we walk thru life circumstance, and yes mature, we begin to realize why she did things the way she did ,because we make the same decisions. .This healing of heart causes us to love and cherish our moms more .I think that it is a work of God.
I say all this because, when my mom was raising me, she had a late in life baby, my sister Julie. Julie, was raised as an only child because, she was so much younger than all the other siblings. Was Julie spoiled? Of course she was . Julie was given everything her heart desired. She received not only any material thing she wanted, but also, all my mom’s love and all my mom’s attention. As a sixteen year old child, when Julie was born, I couldn’t understand, this at all. You see when I was being raised, we never even had the money for a new dress. In fact we were so poor that my mom would actually take us to a store, look at Prom Dresses, draw the dress on a piece of paper, then go home an attempt to sew the dress. You can imagine what it looked like. I guess you could say I was jealous, because when Julie was the same age, she not only had the Prom Dress of her choice, but also competed in many, many Beauty Pageants. We all know the money it takes to be in a Beauty Pageant. This jealousy didn‘t stop Julie and I from growing into best friends. She was kind enough to pass all her clothes down to my daughters and I.
One day, as life went on, I found myself with a late in life baby myself. .Sean was a preemie, and was ill a lot. It seemed like every other week, but you know how us moms exaggerate and remember things big. I had to give Sean, a lot of my time and a lot of my attention, even though I had six other children living at home. To top it off, we had made the decision to put my children in Catholic School. The other children had been raised in Christian Community, where uniforms were the standard even on a High School level . What did that mean? It meant, the baby girl, our sixth child, Kaitlin, needed a fashion wardrobe. When raising the other children, because there were so many, there was never extra funds to buy even a new dress, no way was there a wardrobe fund. Remember, we all wore Julie’s hand me downs . Now with only three children at home, and not having to tithe to Christian Community, there was a lot of extra money, for our baby girl to buy the clothing desire of her heart. Do you see a pattern here. My mom was quick to point out, “ now do you see why Julie was given everything she wanted?” I had to admit I did. No you don‘t set out in parenting to give one child more than another, but circumstances change and people change. Life is God‘s way of changing us on the inside. I have to admit, as I got older, I turned into my mother. My mother who I had once judged and, yes held bitterness toward, I now understood. It helps to walk a mile in a person‘s shoes.. What about my other children? Is there any jealousy present? Of course there is, any one would be jealous in these circumstances. Being a Christian mother, as well as, having already walked this path before myself, I try extremely hard to make it up to them. I dote on their children, and try to visit frequently, serving my children in any way I can.. When I visit, we often do a shopping spree just for them, for no reason at all. For that short time, I encourage them to enjoy being the only child with all my love and all my attention. We both treasure this time together.
Now that I am older and wiser, I know that as life goes on in their life, and they become their mother, they too will understand, why I did things the way I did.. I guess you can say, ”IT’S THE CIRCLE OF LIFE. What do you think moms?

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